Nobody comes out looking like a hero fighting for women by implying that if they are with a man, something must be wrong with their ability to exercise agency or enforce boundaries.

Completely agree. Yet that is a common radfem belief.

I am all for "live and let live" as long as radfems can respect LGB people in that way, too, but it seems like Bindel cannot.

The more of this type of thought I encounter, the more it just seems like a TRA-abuse variant. It's so regularly both illogical and vitriolic.

Hmm, that's an interesting suggestion. I guess I meant it more in the sense of like, "Tolerance is something we should strive for." I think many religions have harmful beliefs but I also recognize that it's the right of people to believe in them anyway, and I don't expect to be able to convince all religious people ever to stop believing in them. But I could see how a trans rights activist might say, "Live and let live! How are trans people hurting you??" which implicitly denies that same-sex rights and "gender identity rights" are at odds with each other in many situations (sports, single-sex spaces, etc.).