ColonizationGay man in a relationship with other gay man laments he "doesn't feel like a lesbian"

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[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

I don't see any evidence that this guy is gay-- e.g. he could just as easily be AGP and very committed to the fantasy. Or bisexual. We can't really assume his sexual orientation. That being said, he seems like he is in a lot of pain, whatever is the case for him. I hope he gets some actual help, and ideally, help that doesn't involve infringing on a minority group's online spaces.

Funny, I've never "felt like a lesbian" either, whatever the fuck that means. Yet I am one. Lol.

edit: I missed this part at first:

People constantly bully me and say I'm homophobic for invading lesbian spaces

Thank god people are telling him. I am surprised anyone did.

[–]kwallio 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

I think the part where he is in a sexual relationship with another male is the gay part.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Yeah, you could call it a "gay relationship" because it's a same-sex relationship, but that doesn't mean his sexual orientation is (edit: necessarily) gay-- which is what the title suggests:

gay man in a relationship with other gay man

My point stands, we still don't know this guy's sexual orientation. He could just be AGP. And in fact, it might even be statistically likelier for two AGP men to be in a relationship than for two gay men to be in a relationship.

[–]kwallio 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

My point stands, we still don't know this guy's sexual orientation

And my point still fucking stands, he is in a SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MALE HE IS GAY GAY GAY GAYER THAN GAY GAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

And there is nothing wrong with him being gayer than a $2 bill, its fine, its just the whole HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER MALE JUST GAY THINGS GAY that he is doing.

ETA he could be bi but the whole GAY SEX THING HE IS DOING IS PRETTY HELLA GAY.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

And my point still fucking stands, he is in a SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MALE HE IS GAY GAY GAY GAYER THAN GAY GAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

No, the relationship is same-sex, the guy could be gay or bisexual. As you yourself acknowledged. Clarity when describing sexual orientation is important; the TQ movement's wishy-washiness about describing same-sex relationships perpetuates erasure of both homosexuality and bisexuality.

edit: phrasing

[–]kwallio 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Perhaps you could write an entire book on how same sex relationship aren't gay, call it internalized homophobia and make it trans some how, you'd make a mint.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You are implying that acknowledging the ambiguity of someone's sexual orientation means that I believe in gender identity ideology. Very funny. Bisexuality and homosexuality both exist, and I believe that fact is worth acknowledging, because TRAs are constantly trying to deny it.

Have a nice day.

[–]kwallio 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That is kind of where you were going tho, jumping in to say how two dudes in a relationship totally aren't necessarily GAY GAY, you know, not LIKE THAT. Come one man.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, I was talking specifically about their sexual orientation. A same-sex relationship is gay (homosexual) by definition. But the reason why I like to be extra clear about sexual orientation is that not being clear can lead to bisexual people being labeled "gay" and then when they continue to date both sexes, TRAs point at them and say: "Look, that gay man is dating transmen/women! Look, that lesbian woman is dating transwomen/men!" And that is total bullshit, lol. They are not gay.

Does that make more sense? The trouble is that the word "gay" has two meanings-- one referring to a specific sexual orientation (homosexuality), the other referring to same-sex behavior in general (including both homosexuality/bisexuality).

It sounds like we agree on the important parts.