ColonizationGay man in a relationship with other gay man laments he "doesn't feel like a lesbian"

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[–][deleted] 34 insightful - 6 fun34 insightful - 5 fun35 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I still use my deadname in my broker job because I call clients all day

And probably because clients will treat you better if they think you're a man than if they think you're a woman.

I don't feel welcome in women's spaces either.

You're not.

Like I'd be in danger.

More scared of women not seeing him as a woman than he is of men who would be much more likely to physically hurt him.

Honestly I feel like an imposter.

That's because you are.

If I'm not a woman am I welcome in lesbians spaces too?

No.

People constantly bully me and say I'm homophobic for invading lesbian spaces

Being called out for being a homophobic asshole for invading lesbian spaces is not bullying.

[–]jim_steak 27 insightful - 20 fun27 insightful - 19 fun28 insightful - 20 fun -  (0 children)

I don't feel welcome in women's spaces either. Like I'd be in danger.

Lol, yeah women's spaces are notoriously dangerous places, better stay in men's spaces just to be safe. When I walk by a women's restroom I keep my head down and my hands on my bag, it's scary stuff.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It should make sense, but I just. I feel horrible.I feel everyone sees me as a man. It makes me feel like a man and just not welcome. I feel like I need to be cis to be truly a part of lesbian culture. People constantly bully me and say I'm homophobic for invading lesbian spaces, then transphobes say I'm a man and impossible to be a lesbian . I cried myself to sleep last night.

Everyone does see you as a man. Because that's what you are, an adult human male. What this person needs is to ask himself why being perceived as his biological sex is enough to make him feel horrible and "cry himself to sleep at night". That kind of a disconnect from reality is deeply unhealthy and unsustainable but instead he's love bombed by the uwu brigade. 🙄

Also he's dating a fellow trans woman and it's serious enough that they live together but he refuses to accept that he's same-sex attracted?!

How is any of the whining on his post relatable to lesbians at all, go to a trans sub, they would understand and offer "support" from like-minded people but, I guess he needs that sweet sweet validation more than actual support.

[–]HereStill 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

At this point in reddit time, he IS in a trans sub.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

He needs a team of fucking psychs, not hugboxing and hormones.

[–]DimDroog 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

The first comment:

Are you seeing a therapist? You probably should.

BHAHAHAA!

I'd like to think they were being a shitlord.

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

I don't see any evidence that this guy is gay-- e.g. he could just as easily be AGP and very committed to the fantasy. Or bisexual. We can't really assume his sexual orientation. That being said, he seems like he is in a lot of pain, whatever is the case for him. I hope he gets some actual help, and ideally, help that doesn't involve infringing on a minority group's online spaces.

Funny, I've never "felt like a lesbian" either, whatever the fuck that means. Yet I am one. Lol.

edit: I missed this part at first:

People constantly bully me and say I'm homophobic for invading lesbian spaces

Thank god people are telling him. I am surprised anyone did.

[–]kwallio 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

I think the part where he is in a sexual relationship with another male is the gay part.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Yeah, you could call it a "gay relationship" because it's a same-sex relationship, but that doesn't mean his sexual orientation is (edit: necessarily) gay-- which is what the title suggests:

gay man in a relationship with other gay man

My point stands, we still don't know this guy's sexual orientation. He could just be AGP. And in fact, it might even be statistically likelier for two AGP men to be in a relationship than for two gay men to be in a relationship.

[–]kwallio 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

My point stands, we still don't know this guy's sexual orientation

And my point still fucking stands, he is in a SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MALE HE IS GAY GAY GAY GAYER THAN GAY GAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

And there is nothing wrong with him being gayer than a $2 bill, its fine, its just the whole HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER MALE JUST GAY THINGS GAY that he is doing.

ETA he could be bi but the whole GAY SEX THING HE IS DOING IS PRETTY HELLA GAY.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

And my point still fucking stands, he is in a SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MALE HE IS GAY GAY GAY GAYER THAN GAY GAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

No, the relationship is same-sex, the guy could be gay or bisexual. As you yourself acknowledged. Clarity when describing sexual orientation is important; the TQ movement's wishy-washiness about describing same-sex relationships perpetuates erasure of both homosexuality and bisexuality.

edit: phrasing

[–]kwallio 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Perhaps you could write an entire book on how same sex relationship aren't gay, call it internalized homophobia and make it trans some how, you'd make a mint.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You are implying that acknowledging the ambiguity of someone's sexual orientation means that I believe in gender identity ideology. Very funny. Bisexuality and homosexuality both exist, and I believe that fact is worth acknowledging, because TRAs are constantly trying to deny it.

Have a nice day.

[–]kwallio 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That is kind of where you were going tho, jumping in to say how two dudes in a relationship totally aren't necessarily GAY GAY, you know, not LIKE THAT. Come one man.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, I was talking specifically about their sexual orientation. A same-sex relationship is gay (homosexual) by definition. But the reason why I like to be extra clear about sexual orientation is that not being clear can lead to bisexual people being labeled "gay" and then when they continue to date both sexes, TRAs point at them and say: "Look, that gay man is dating transmen/women! Look, that lesbian woman is dating transwomen/men!" And that is total bullshit, lol. They are not gay.

Does that make more sense? The trouble is that the word "gay" has two meanings-- one referring to a specific sexual orientation (homosexuality), the other referring to same-sex behavior in general (including both homosexuality/bisexuality).

It sounds like we agree on the important parts.

[–]JulienMayfair 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

At the same time I want to drop the T, I feel sorry for these people and the path they've been put on by gender identity ideology. People like this are never going to be happy. They know the same things we know. They're just trying as hard as they can to deny it, and that's no foundation upon which to build a life. It's a recipe for ongoing misery.

[–]FediNetizenSuper-semi-bisexual (i.e. straight) 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If their goals are to be "lesbians" and they aren't satisfied with their male partners, wouldn't that make them straight men?

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You don’t have to feel fem to be a woman you just have to believe your a women and make sure people know your a woman

Ohhh, do they tire me

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Your submission has been removed due to:

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