Yes, a lot of it smacks of "I thought you people were supposed to be open-minded."

Open-mindedness has sadly been perverted to mean "up for anything." I see it more as realizing that other people may have perspectives and needs that are different from your own and that you should not (within reason) bother others about it.

Gay and lesbian people are being bothered about it, and what I think is tragic is the self-criticism confessionals in which people prattle on about all the soul-searching they did to "overcome" whatever it was that made them uninterested in sleeping with a transwoman. If you are having to do that much work to make yourself interested, that should tell you something.

Someone else posted a video (either here or on one of the TERF blogs I follow, the inimitable Appropriately Inappropriate) of a lesbian woman saying something along the lines of "people are telling you to work on accepting everyone else, except yourself," and that connected with me. People are absolutely terrified of not being 100% accommodating to everyone, of not being an "ally," so terrified that they don't stop to ask themselves questions like "is this the kind of thing I would demand of someone else?"

Allyship should be a two-way street, but a lot of it is stated in terms of "you shut the hell up and do as I say." It's a synonym for "doormat." There is such a simpering codependency I see in many who do the ally thing. And the moment you say no, it does not matter what you've gone along with before, you are just as bad as the people who've done nothing at all.