LifestyleNot knowing if you can continue living in a world of Gender Woo as a Gender Critical person?

submitted by Kai_Decadence from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Your previous friends suck. If you're feeling down, there are some simple things you can try, that I can vouch for. Go outside, get some sun, do a bit of exercise, eat food with vegetables, go to bed early. There are real physiological reasons why I feel happier after doing these things.

I'm just shocked that they just up and dropped me and I recently found out that one of them even went so far as to bad mouth me calling me this horrible, disgusting "transphobe" who they didn't want to be associated with anymore (this ex-friend blocked me so I didn't know until someone else told me but this person also dropped me as well). I get not agreeing but it hurt they took it that far because even though I've been vocally GC, I never said anything outright malicious to trans-identifed people unless saying things like a surgically inverted penis is not a vagina and a fake arm-skin phallic tube is not a penis is "malicious". I'm just being honest with that but I digress...

I actually do workout regularly and that does help me immensely as well as try to eat right, love me my salad bowls with chicken mixed in lol. I agree that these things help big time.

Regarding finding friends, I suggest just doing some normal people stuff. See if there's a local poker game, badminton club or whatever. Maybe check for a stoics, philosophy, IDW or whatever meetup. You might find people there who are open minded.

Eugh it's just that I find "normal" people stuff so boring, I'm a geek at heart haha. I dunno, I'll think of something though. One of my hopes is that as I continue making more content explaining why I'm GC as well as really laying it out why the trans beliefs just have no basis, I may find some people who have similar interests who agree with me and we can build a friendship from there. But it's just taking a while because of IRL stuff I'm dealing with but things should be going back to normal soon lol.

As for relationships - i guess you're sort of a twink type looking for a bear man? I don't really know that much about that stuff, but imagine there are websites for that kind of thing. If you figure you have nothing to lose, why not start an Onlyfans? I reckon you could attract a small simp army. You might make being a glam rock/goth femboy into the next big trend.

I technically wouldn't be considered a "twink" anymore since I'm 30 now and "twinks" are guys in their late teens, early 20s lol. Really the obstacles I have with dating are 1, I'm feminine and most gay men are not attracted to feminine and the few who are, are not into feminine presenting men. 2), I attract a lot of emotionally unavailable guys,. Of the few guys who do find me attractive, they only want sex and nothing else and at this time in my life, I'm looking for something more than that. 3), I attract married guys, not even gonna explain why this one is unpleasant lol. And 4), the few guys who do seem to be open to relationships with men, they want them to be "trans"identified because these guys suffer from internalized homophobia and don't want to admit that they're in a Gay/Homosexual relationship. That's what I meant by "they want me to swallow trans dogma" and I'm just not willing to compromise myself in that way. So yeah, it's pretty rough to say the least. And nah, I could never do OnlyFans lhaha And even if I did, I'm sure I would be promptly canceled for being "tRaNsPhObIc" lol.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I've heard dating for gay men is tough in general as most are just into hooking up and finding serious stuff is hard. The opposite of lesbians who want to get married after the second date lol Surely being feminine does get you more problem. Also racial minority got more problems. But overall is difficult to find serious love for everyone, especially for people with small dating poll, and even more so from people from a promiscuos poll. Do you have pets? I think I'm going to be a cat lady in the future. Dogs are better but much more work

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I mean you're not wrong that dating for gay men is a lot more difficult because many are just into hooking and what's worse is that these days, you're seeing a lot more gay/bi men in open relationships popping up and if you're someone who's trying to look for other single guys, it just adds another layer of frustration sorting you have to be mindful of. Yeah being feminine but more specifically feminine presenting because I think there are some gay men who don't mind guys with a more feminine personality as long as they still present in a masculine style but if the guy is also feminine presenting like I am? That's where they have problems. And right, my being black probably doesn't help neither...

i currently don't have any pets but in recent years I've been thinking about getting a dog because it would be nice to have something in the flesh that'd be happy to see me (lol). But no seriously, I do plan on maybe getting a dog in the future when I have a more stable living situation. Cats are cool but I just was always drawn more to dogs lol

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

People lives have been saved by pets. As you got a living being depending on you, you feel a reason to live and a source of affection and smiles. Dogs for me are better, dogs are like toddler who treat you as the best thing in the world, while cats are like grumpy teens lol But the work they require is equivalent. A dog will need much more time and attentions, daily walks and exercises, cats can be left alone for long, they don't require walks or restrict your life like that. You will find more emotional satisfaction in dogs. But cats are good too. I hated them before knowing an awesome cat ladies who made overcome my prejudices.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right and that's the reason why I haven't gotten a dog yet. I just don't have the time and to give a dog all the attention they'll inevitably need just yet but when I do, I'll definitely be getting one. :)