BisexualCreating a bi space whitout the TQ+ invading it seems impossible (And I feel like sht about wanting one)

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[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm a lesbian, but I fully support and encourage bi people like you! You deserve to be just as much listened as any lesbian or gay man.

[–]usehername 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm bi and I fucking hate the gender movement, and any attack on L&G is an attack on us and should be treated as such.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I feel like we're supposed to be the ones that do not care about people's genitals and so on since we're open to both sex but I truly am not willing to deal with someone who thinks they're NB, Agender, Transmasc or anything like that

Trust me, nobody wants mix and match Mr Potato Head sex characteristics, not even bisexuals. Literally the only people who don't mind are chasers.

[–]usehername 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (2 children)

Literally the only people who don't mind are chasers.

No, lol. I'd fuck Blaire White.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 12 fun10 insightful - 11 fun11 insightful - 12 fun -  (0 children)

The drama though.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

It's pretty simple consent. You are entitled to look at any physical or emotional feature and say nope not for me in terms of establishing a romantic or sexual relationship. When establishing those kinds of relations you do have the right to discriminate for any reason.

It's not the same as giving other people the same sorts of say opportunities for basic respect, friendship or legitimate opportunity.

Being bi just means being attracted to both sexes as the name. It says literally nothing else about what said kinds of people we are looking for. Personally I don't mind gender non conforming people from either gender but I usually steer away from anyone claiming to be trans since I just feel they are harming their bodies and I can't really constantly engage in what is a delusion in any serious relationship. It wouldn't work. Plus as someone who does find GNC attractive I have to be honest that feminine men and masculine women are not attractive in the same way as a feminine woman and masculine man.

For other bi people however it's fair to argue they may be attracted to men or women for their assigned gender role and fair to desire only that. Bisexuals aren't just horny pests that will screw anything and I think it's fair to be annoyed by that.

As someone who is bi I get the guilt side of things. I also don't get the over-attachment to labels. I only talk about being bi when it's relevant when dealing with relationships and sex and I don't talk about those things that often.

I think the issue is that while you can share concerns or maybe different experiences being bi it's not like there is that much to unify such a community. There are communities for bisexuals here though pretty inactive.

[–]usehername 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Plus as someone who does find GNC attractive I have to be honest that feminine men and masculine women are not attractive in the same way as a feminine woman and masculine man.

What's the difference for you?

[–]Nani 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Long time lurker - finally made an account to reply to this thread.

I relate to you so much. I'm also bisexual and want nothing to do with the trans ideology. Partially because I really just don't believe "gender" is the way we should be moving - let people of either sex do and be who they want, and partly because I've done the dating of people with severe mental illness before and have no interest going back down that road.

I also really really wish there was a place we could talk about the guilt and those types of feelings in regard to bisexuality. I feel like I should "choose" to be with men because why choose a woman and make my life harder (even though I definitely have greater attraction to them), almost as if like the T+ without true gender dysphoria I'm choosing to opt in to oppression.

If someone creates some sort of discord server to talk about this stuff I'd love to be part of it.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

It pisses me off, it's not my thing, this ideology or way of living/thinking isn't what I believe in and I can't help it. And when I think about it sometimes, I feel like I'm being a spoiled brat about it.

You are not being "spoiled" or a "brat" at all. You're making a reasonable request: "Can I have beliefs that are different than yours?" That's it! The fact that so many people in the LGBTQ+ movement shame anyone who dares to question its ideological beliefs, especially LGB people, is beyond fucked up. They need to accept the fact that many people don't believe in gender identity, and never will. Just like religious people need to suck it up and accept that many people won't join their religion. Saying, "I have this belief and I am sticking to it" is setting a boundary. I can promise you, you never have to feel bad for setting boundaries. Ideological zealots rage at the presence of boundaries, but that doesn't mean you're wrong; you just need to keep going, even if their words make you feel afraid or hurt or ashamed, their words don't reflect the TRUTH. And the truth is, 1) same-sex attraction exists, and 2) their beliefs in "gender identity" have no grounding in science whatsoever, those beliefs operate on faith alone.

I'm not a radfem, not a conservative, I'm fully on board with gender non-conformity, I am just not convinced by the gender stuffs, no matter how much I read about it or speak to those people.

Same.

I've gone through really bad times because I was with a woman and experienced homophobia from my own family, not because I identified as anything.

I am really sorry you went through that. And agreed, at the end of the day, discrimination towards sexual orientation is predicated upon same-sex attraction.

I also still feel guilty for my attraction to women and this isn't something I "identify as" and I really do not relate with those labels they're so fond of, it makes me really uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I'm chosing the rejection of my own family and society, that it's all my fault and that I have control over how I feel and shouldn't fuck things up "on purpose" like that.

I relate so much to this, lol. Another reason why the "I identify as..." language is BS. Not only does it not acknowledge that same-sex attraction is a phenomenon with objectivity, it implies that sexual orientation is all a choice.

I am not bisexual, I'm lesbian, but I relate a lot to what you wrote and I'm glad you wrote it; thanks for writing it. I am rooting for you and other bisexual people to be able to have your own communities without TQ+ influence. Though it does not solve your problem, I've wondered before whether it might help a little to have a lesbian+bisexual women's space here on Saidit; interested at all?

[–]WildwoodFlower 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You are attracted to who you are attracted to, and you have every right to those attractions. You are allowed to be selfish when it comes to figuring out who you want to be with, and who turns you off. For me, the worst thing about the TQ+ crowd are their personalities, not their genitals (which I don't want to see) and not the way they dress (which isn't my style, but whatever). I can't really see myself being friends with them the way I am friends with gay men or straight people. I just can't deal with their drama, their cultish groupthink, or their never ending need for attention and validation. I don't know if these things bother you the way they bother me. But I don't blame anyone who wants to steer clear of these folks.

[–]JoeyJoeJoe 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Build your own community.

Locally, organically & gradually. You might call it a debate club or a stamp collecting club. It will be your club and you can choose who is a part of it and who doesn't get an invite.

You set the meetup parameters, everyone has a pleasant time. Rinse and repeat. You might even meet someone special in the process!

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

we're supposed to be the ones that do not care about people's genitals and so on

So this is true of me, but I need people to be... like, functional adults in touch with reality. Excuse me while I go draft up a new pride flag. Adult-in-touch-with-reality-o-sexual. That's hot.

am not willing to deal with someone who thinks they're NB

Amen. Had my sights on this nice masculine bisexual woman. Enter lockdown. Now she's NB. Dodged that bullet.

Where lesbian and gay people can't help their attraction of the same-sex, I shouldn't care that much about...

Welcome to the grind of not being monosexual. They've got it easier in some regards. Not in the grand scheme of things, no, being homo is harder, but being bi is just... different.

Kinsey did pluisexuals a dirty modeling us on a continuum of het-to-homo. Bisexuality is its own thing. It is its own experience. Neither this nor that.

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It makes me feel like I'm chosing the rejection of my own family and society, that it's all my fault and that I have control over how I feel and shouldn't fuck things up "on purpose" like that.

I have no idea if this is helpful or not, but I've long thought bisexuals "opting in" like that, and accepting the consequences not just because there's no alternative, the way it is for homosexuals, but when bisexuals actually choosing it, in the face of other options, it's kinda sexy, in a "big romantic gesture" sort of way.