ColonizationMy unpopular opinion

submitted by [deleted] from self.LGBDropTheT

Henlo. I'm not sure if post like this belongs here but I don't know any other place to share my tho(ugh)ts.

I believed before that asexuality is legitimate (definition of asexuality I believed in: A person feeling no sexual attraction whatsoever in any shape or form and not interested in any relationships)

but all of this ''asExUaLiTy Is a SpEcTrUm1'' , ''AsExUaLs cAn WiNk oFf, bE In rElAtIoNsHiPs, LoVe AnD enJoY ShReX1'' talk plus all this split attraction model crap honestly made me change my mind.

NEWSFLASH: Just because you are not hurny 24/7, you don't have shrex with random people on the street you just met, have low libido, are not interested in / cannot commit to relationships, your relationship is dying out, you have some bizzare paraphilias that can't be fullfiled in real life or have medical / mental health issues does NOT and I repeat this: NOT mean that you are unique or deserve your own special label!!!

HOW MANY ''types of attractions'' there are for friggity frick's sake?! Platoromantic? Quasidemoromantic? Bimbaspiritual? Minesexual? Why should normal feelings or emotions count under new type of attraction?

I don't understand. I genuinely don't understand. Can someone enlighten me? Because it seems like all of this ''ace spec'' crap is just an meaningless and made up as all of these ''non binary genders''.

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[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Actual asexuality is extremely rare, but most people who identify as (and it is an identity for them) asexual are likely one of the following:

  • Inexperienced teens and young adults who haven't had a sexual relationship, or aren't as hypersexual as they think everyone else is (which most people aren't)

  • People who have experienced sexual trauma or sexual abuse, or have had poor experiences in sexual situations and therefore do not want to experience it again

  • Gay men and lesbians who aren't interested in the opposite sex but don't understand that they are actually sexually attracted to the same sex

  • People who want to continue having sex but need to spice up their identity without having to change a thing about themselves and their relationship, so they say they're asexuals who still have sex (also see: non-binary people who call themselves non-binary women and men)

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Forgot one!

People, especially young people, can have low libidos due to chemical imbalances and medication, which theoretically makes them feel asexual even though in reality they aren't.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd add exclusive paraphilia to the list. People who find their sexual interests in things other than sex (in both senses: others that are male/female and the activity.) They correctly surmise how het/homo/bi works, realize they're not that, and go with the only other available option. People also like to deny that they have atypical sexuality for the obvious reasons.

Something like 20% of MTF trans are asexual-identified. These are probably the stronger cases of AGP.

[–]Shales123 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Another one: people who didn't have a healthy puberty due to ED

[–]SerpensInferna 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have mixed feelings on this.

I truly believe that some people don't experience much or any sexual attraction, and that in our sex-drenched society it is often viewed as very weird. Asexuality can be a helpful label to those people who are struggling with trying to figure themselves out.

HOWEVER, I have witnessed the online asexual community move from an attitude of "phew, there are others like me and I'm not a failure at life" to "i Am So OppReSSED I AM THE MOST OPPRESSED!!#(&$(&#$!!!!". It seems that it is now mostly populated with inexperienced young people buying into the Oppression Olympics hook, line, and sinker, and those on the spectrum, who are acting like those on the spectrum usually do in social situations.

What completely baffles me is the asexuals who still like sex. I...don't think that's how that works at all. But words have no meaning anymore.

Overall, social media has not been a net positive for humanity.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Asexual who likes sex sounds like bisexual with extra steps unless someone says they're like heteroromantic then it's straight with extra steps.

And yeah I find the "I AM SO OPRESSED" narrative just so ridiculous and false. The issue is lack of information on asexuality, which could he useful. But this is not opression. I never felt opressed. I feel different from straight people but not opressed at all.

[–]censorshipment 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

I think the biggest component is porn. I've seen it come up so often by people who are confused/conflicted. Nowadays, if someone doesn't want to get fucked hard in the ass nor gag and choke on dick... they may believe they are asexual because that's the only type of sex they've been exposed to.

I grew up watching sensual porn of the 70s. Sex didn't scare me. But it did make me want to be a guy, instead of a lesbian, because I wanted a woman to ride me and cum on my dick. Lesbian sex looked so boring.

Speaking of lesbian sex... straight women prefer to watch lesbian porn more than any other porn genre, and they watch it more than men watch it. Straight and bisexual women are the least sexually satisfied and likely think they're on the asexual spectrum because their men aren't getting them off.

I know a woman who has been married to a man for 17 YEARS and never had a vaginal orgasm... she only came when he ate her pussy the right way (he had to learn by watching lesbian porn, ironically), and she didn't look at him while he did it. She's out as a lesbian now and has left him.

I say that to say... someone may believe she's asexual specifically because she isn't sexually attracted to her partner.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

But it did make me want to be a guy, instead of a lesbian, because I wanted a woman to ride me and cum on my dick.

Relate to this so much, this is the only reason I would ever wanna be a man, so I can experience the feeling of a woman riding me and cumming on my dick while my hands are still free to explore her body. Something so hot about being able to kiss and touch a woman while also feeling myself inside her, but that's the only reason I'd ever want a dick (and to pee standing up). 😭

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 11 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

I would never want to have a dick, why desiring the most useless device for female pleasure, as dick penetrating works very badly for making women cum as vagina isn't sensitive, while I can ride her with my pussy, and feeling her wet pussy against mine and making her actually cum stimulating her clit, but looking at her in the eyes, and grabbing her boobs? Oh, my pussy doesn't get useless after 5 minutes lol

[–]hufflepuff-poet 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Might be a bit of my own internalized homophobia, but sometimes when I'm having sex with a woman, there's a point where I wanna be closer to her and can't seem to get any closer physically, like I wanna just melt our two bodies into one and lose myself in her. I feel like being inside her would help me feel closer than just riding each other, maybe I need to work on some different positions lol 😂

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I don't care about penetration much though, as really vagina isn't sensitive, that's why most het women struggle to come with penis in vagina. Fingers are actually better for penetration because at least they touch the clit and g-spot properly and makes you much easily come than a tube object. But I prefer just clit focus. And definitely pussy on pussy makes you feel close enough lmao. I just love to be a cowgirl

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

This is why I can't stand asexual community with all that crap. It's mostly straight kids to me.

[–]Bright_paintingLoad, lesbian biologist 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

One of my closest friends are a "true" asexual. She is completely inndifferent towards sex and romantic relationships and has been all of her life. I thought that she was a fellow lesbian for a while, cause we both expressed such a disconnect from our peers when it came to relationships with the opposite sex. Later, I understood that she holds the same attitude towards relationships, regardless of the sex of the other person involved in it. It is for people like her that the label asexual should be for. Not for identity tourists that wants to collect oppression points.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Itìs very very rare way of being, but I wonder if she living life more at peace by being free of this desire. As beautiful and exciting sex and romance can be, they're a source of great stress and pain too. It would be nice if there were a switch enabling people to turn off such desires, there would be much less sufferance in the world I guess.

[–]JoeyJoeJoe 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Love your post. Especially tho(ugh)ts 😂😂😂

It's not founded in reason. Gender bollocks and ultrademispecialattractionalisation is the new Goth. It's Pokemon. It's star-signs. It's fleeting nonsense fomenting division and online arguments to distract from the more important issues of our time.

We could be dealing with a broken & corrupt monetary system & climate change, but that sounds too much like actual work.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Asexuality just means that your libido isn't working, these people do have sexual orientation. As they search from partner of a specific sex, they just do not desire sexual activity, don't feel horny , don't feel attraction.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well said.