LifestyleHow many of your friends have transitioned?

submitted by justagaydude123 from (self.LGBDropTheT)

I don't even have a lot of friends, but I know two. One AGP and one HSTS. The first was the usual anime obsessed, terminally online failed man that figured being an uwu soft transbian is better than the creepy basement dweller that he was.

The other was a really effeminate gay man that eventually got hitched to a really domineering boyfriend.

Not surprisingly, both had no positive male influence in their lives. I wasn't shocked when I found out the first one went AGP. But the other guy was my first gay friend and it kind of hurts to know that he hates his manhood that much to have taken the pink pill. I regret messaging her now.

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[–]censorshipment 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

One. She (a lesbian who identified as a guy) killed herself by setting herself on fire in a bathtub. She was using T and had "top surgery" yet still hated herself.

Oops, two. I forgot about my childhood friend... a gay guy who identifies as a woman. I cut ties with him and literally forgets that he exists. 😂

[–]justagaydude123[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Christ

[–]Bright_paintingLoad, lesbian biologist 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Rampant suicide is a persistent pattern for Trans.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How do you set yourself on fire in a bathtube? Poor girl

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear about your first friend.

[–]grassfed 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

😯

[–]howdidthishappen 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

All of them lmao. At least all of the bi/lesbian women.

Feels very lonely as a butch lesbian out here.

[–]justagaydude123[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

😔

[–]SerpensInferna 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sorry. :/

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sorry for your losses.

[–]soundsituationI myself was once a gay 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Just one, an old friend from high school. A lesbian who was repeatedly molested by her male cousin when she was a kid. She actually transitioned way before the social contagion had really spread, pre-2010 iirc. I have no idea how she's doing now because she cut me and our mutual friends out of her life and all her social media is private, but as far as I know she's still living as a trans man.

[–]justagaydude123[S] 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wish I could stop noticing the pattern.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've never heard of a transman whose transition wasn't predicated by either sexual trauma or intensely homophobic surroundings.

[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know 3. All gay men. They have all dated the same bisexual guy after coming out. He's what TRAs would call a chaser since he is actually attracted to trans women.

No longer in contact with 2 of them. They were emotionally abusive to the bi guy and were just generally assholes. They threatened suicide a lot to try to get their way, neither of them had jobs. I didn't really get along with either of them before they transitioned either so they weren't so much my friends, but friends of my friends.

The 3rd one is better. Still emotionally fragile as hell, but at least he has a job and doesn't threaten to kill himself if he's not given free shit. He's pretty shy and reserved in person and is generally a nice person. He does do all the catgirl anime stuff that is typical of trans women online or in texts though, which gets annoying fast.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I knew one bi guy. I found out he started identifying as a transwoman now. This was uncalled for and it was too painful for me to watch so I really muted his social media.

[–]fuck_reddit 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know two as well. Both HSTS, one male, one female. Although the female now claims to be a “gay male.” The guy was a slap in the face cause i saw him just about every week pre-covid. Then lockdown, nothing for over a year, then I see him and he has “natural” breasts. He had seemed so comfortable in being a feminine gay man, and so many people loved him. I just don’t get it…

[–]TovasshiDefinitely a house plant 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had a friend in college come out to me as a trans women, then asked to have sex with me because he was still ok with his penis.

I girl I briefly dated transitioned to male. I cut ties before they transitioned because they were acting very inappropriately towards my now wife.

A roommate I had in college transitioned to male years after I cut ties. They were the most miserable, biphobic, control freak I have ever met.

During college another male was in the middle of transitioning to female. I had no real interaction with them at the time but I did run into them after transition. I didn't have any issues.

I met a few TW that were years after their transition. I ghosted one after they went off the deep-end.

I have a distant cousin that's FTM, didn't have much interaction with them tho.

A friend's adult child is currently transitioning or at least trying to figure themself out.

Every single non-binary person I know is in my online mom group and "discovered" they were NB around the toddler phase.

[–]JulienMayfair 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Actual friends: one, a classmate in grad school. I was friends with her during her FTM transition. This was the 1990s, and it's notable that she never brought up ANY of the controversies we're dealing with now. We drifted apart after grad school, but one of the last times I communicated with her, she was saying that she was regretting transition because it ultimately didn't solve the problems she had thought it would solve. She subsequently committed suicide.

I'm in my fifties, and I know of no one else I knew in high school or college who has transitioned. No one has announced they are non-binary or anything like that. That's one reason I can tell that this whole thing is a social contagion that would not have happened without social media like Tumblr.

[–]SerpensInferna 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have one awkward friend who declared herself non-binary. We weren't super close and I don't have it in me to keep they/them pronouns straight so we've lost contact.

Straight male (ex) friend who used to say he was an otherkin elf and then decided he was a lesbian. Also super awkward socially and has become just about unbearable since his transition, and has lost a lot of friends. He had a very troubled relationship with his father and was co-dependent on his mum.

And another straight male (friend of a friend) who genuinely had a problem with women. Tons of masculine over-compensation in every way. How he interacted with women in general was awful and just about everyone picked up on it except him. So naturally he decided he is a woman now and struts around in tight slutty clothes with pounds of make-up on. And he is one of those guys who will never, ever pass, either.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It sadly doesn’t surprise me that the second one has a troubled relationship with his father.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know two. Both MTFs who identify as lesbians.

The first one I met at an LGBT society in college. Really nice person face to face, but from reading his Facebook feed he did not get along with his mother, who did not approve of him wearing dresses. Haven’t interacted with him since I graduated, which was years ago.

Second one is a friend of my sister. Started transitioning about a year into the lockdown.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Started a job in tech with with a MTF who had transitioned several years prior, eventually became friends with her. This was... eight years ago, when I didn't know anything about trans. A generally quiet individual who keeps to herself. Intelligent. AGP. Mental health issues. Nothing clinical outside of depression, which has been severe at times, but she's barely been keeping it together her entire life. Late transitioner--40's.

Sort of like a very smart, slightly unstable person, having a rough life history--you know the sort, with AGP sprinkles on top. I think the pre- and post- transition AGP has impeded her from forming meaningful romantic relationships and this is one of her most salient issues. She has this erotic ideal of "woman" floating out there, but it's always out of grasp. The late transition didn't help, and her motivation for finding women "out there" had competition for the woman "inside." Still does. Being a peculiar individual also isn't helping.

[–]usehername 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

One, a fairly feminine lesbian. She was beautiful, but now she just looks like an ugly white boy (she really passes; she's tall and has been on T a few years). But I keep meeting tons "enbies" at school, and one AGP seems like he's on the verge of transition.

[–]WildwoodFlower 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The only one I know well is someone from high school. "Louis" was a basic preppy honors student type. I knew him in the "gender bender" 80s, but he never showed any interest in any of that music or the people who made it. He was a basic suburban straight white boy who was into Rush, Van Halen, and Stevie Ray Vaughan. Fast forward to the late 2010s, when Louis started using the name Louise, along with they/them pronouns, and posting a lot of selfies with makeup, wigs, feminine clothing, etc. I also noticed in a few of the photos that "Louise" has boobs now. Sure, a lot of overweight men over 50 grow man boobs, but these are too big to be that. They also aren't perfect and perky enough to be the result of a boob job, so I'm thinking that Louis is on hormones.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Way late to the party, but... off the top of my head, at least a half dozen (edit: several of whom were straight and/or AGP/AAP). I'm sure I'm forgetting some, though. And that's just counting people I was friends with, not counting acquaintances.

I used to spend a lot more time with transgender-identified people in college, back when I was more naive and didn't realize how homophobic the transgender movement was. Also I'm in gen Z so I think that explains why I know more. I've met way more transgender-identified people than I ever have lesbian women. Or gay men.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No friends just acquaintances.

The one who was most friendly with me was a gay guy who transed then got pissed when I said neither the bf nor him were "straight" in front of other people. He then sent me some private messages demanding i apologize and that i recognize their relationship as straight. I refused and they declared me "transphobic as fuck" in a public chat room then stopped talking to me lol...

[–]RippoffOfLoveSStraight | Overuses quotation marks 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

One. He was in my friend group and we were pretty close. Then we weren't. Then he came out. Then I graduated and haven't said a word to him since. Friend group still exists minus him.

[–]holy_goat 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had a friend, who I don't talk to anymore as we have grown apart. She was a lesbian, I was friends with her through her coming out and through her presenting more and more butch. but now identifies as transmasc and uses they/them. She made a gofundme for top surgery, IDK if she actually went through with it. I feel like I dodged a bullet to be honest, as about a year before that announcement we had maintaining less and less contact. She always seemed to have a deep self-hatred for herself and was kind of had a toxic personality which made me decide to stop contacting her. We have a lot of mutual friends sadly, so I still see her on social media on her descent down the rabbit hole.