Gay MenWhy is it so validating when you catfish gay guys?

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[–]JulienMayfair 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

so the euphoria I feel from someone who isn’t bi being into me is way stronger

This is someone who's addicted to a certain form of psychological validation, which is not a model for a healthy relationship.

I've never heard non-trans people write about relationships in this way.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It feels like a fetish.

[–]DrMantisToboggan 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, this isn't a fetish at all. /S

[–]spanishprofanity 13 insightful - 7 fun13 insightful - 6 fun14 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Both of the men that have been into me from my high school have been strictly gay men, and quite a few of the guys I mess around w from grindr are gay so I havnt had much trouble finding people.

Hmm, why do I doubt this

[–]ThrowMeAway2879 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

In 2021 it's strictly gay sex when you put a penis in a vagina.

[–]shveya 12 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

They can probably tell she's a woman

[–]ThrowMeAway2879 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I wasn't sure whether you are joking, but there really are pics of her on her profile. So... manly...

[–]shveya 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Lol definitely joking. She makes Reese Witherspoon look like Burt Reynolds.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Your self-esteem cannot depend on how attractive you think other people find you. Doesn't matter if you're trans or not.

Ok but literally 100% of trans ID depends on being perceived by other people.

[–]DropItLikeItsHot 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I hate that so much of my self esteem relays on being attractive to cis gay men.

People who can only be happy when they surround themselves with liars are doomed to misery.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is why trans ID can't exist in a vacuum.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah it's so validating to bother people who aren't into you. I still don't get it personally. It's probably because I am so self conscious to a fault but why do you want to pursue relationships with people that don't see you in that way.

Aren't you worried about bothering other people or making a negative impression? That triumphs whatever lust or romantic attraction I have by far. I would be incredibly horrified if I made someone uncomfortable but these people seem to enjoy making asses of themselves.

I mean even around the validation aspect eventually in some reality where you pass enough eventually the dude is going to realize you don't have male anatomy you think that would trigger dysphoria the most.

Honestly not every bi dude would be into a girl like that but some are. There are people that would be up for it. Why needlessly antagonize others that you very well know are not going to be into you.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aren't you worried about bothering other people or making a negative impression? That triumphs whatever lust or romantic attraction I have by far. I would be incredibly horrified if I made someone uncomfortable but these people seem to enjoy making asses of themselves.

Your question jarred my perspective a little bit. You're totally right. We see so many people saying stuff like in this post that it might be a little desensitizing. But when I think about the action of actually deciding to go do this and then doing it-- I can't imagine what I would have to believe, or how little I would have to care about others, in order to NOT have the reaction you just described.

[–]usehername 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aren't you worried about bothering other people or making a negative impression?

No, because of the paraphilias frotteurism and sexual sadism.

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is an example of transgender-identified people who are exclusively opposite-sex attracted-- i.e. heterosexual people-- targeting homosexual people (in this case, gay men). Tale as old as time, but with some fun costumes...