DiscussionI don't know

submitted by [deleted] from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

The amount of diplomacy that will be needed from LG people is tremendous and I hope all of you are ready for that. I hope you're training yourselves to speak and write in a proper manner (in your own mother-langage or/and in english) to express how you see the situation and how it appears as a difficult problem, because people will have no mercy whatsoever if the situation get really badly out of control.

Damn right (except, I would say LGB, not just LG). I think about this constantly. It may sound idealistic, but I would like to be able to present information about the struggle LGB people are facing in the most accurate and humanizing way I possibly can. Unfortunately, this seems to be one of the most universal burdens of being a tiny statistical minority: A lot of people in the larger groups are not going to understand you, and you have to use what little speaking time you have as carefully as you can if you want to effectively advocate for your group.

Bisexual allies can help, but as you can see the vast majority of them goes allong with the TQ+

Bisexual people are not just "allies," they are IN the LGB. It's LGB, not just LG-- LGB drop the T. You implied you're bisexual; I'm sorry if it feels like you are not included. Each group within the LGB has its own unique struggles and I think it can be easy for discussion to get heated over our differences in experience of the world, lol.

So I don't know how I feel about the spam of irrevelant weird stuffs on this sub (in my opinion).

Can you give some examples of what you're talking about? It looks like you've been here a little less than a month; I've been here a year and I've noticed that sometimes we have long runs of content that trends towards one particular topic or another, and I haven't been around as much the past few weeks so maybe I'm missing something obvious.

It's just a giant rant place, and some cries for help... I don't know if it's the point of this place

The point of this place is:

  • To find support from and take solace in the existence of other like-minded people. I get told "you should be ashamed for not liking dick," as a lesbian, practically ANYWHERE else on social media! This is one of the rare places where people acknowledge my sexual orientation is legitimate. Doesn't that seem valuable to you? Essentially, the message I get from people here is: "You are not alone." And it is relieving to know that I'm not alone.

  • To discuss the TQ+ as an ideological movement. Sometimes we do discussion threads on here, I like them a lot, and (when I'm around) I post news articles and other people do too.

A few people on here actively volunteer or are interested in activism, but mostly this is a discussion board-- and yes, actual discussion happens here if you look for it, and if you choose to participate it. :) I think my own logical thinking skills have been exercised almost constantly when I get into debates in this sub, to the point where I feel like it's improved other areas of my life offline, like my work.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[deleted]

    [–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

    I think there's a gap between bisexuals and homosexuals/heterosexuals.

    I agree-- to a large degree an artificial gap grown wider by people from each side who villainize the other side, but one that is also based in the reality that homosexuality and bisexuality are simply two different experiences of the world. I may be a little idealistic, but I like to think that a lot of the problems surrounding bisexual/homosexual differences can be solved with clear and respectful communication from all parties.

    I'll still like to advocate and help on behalf of homosexuality, because that's also a part of me

    Well, if you are bisexual, then you are bisexual right? Not half heterosexual and half homosexual, but a whole bisexual :)

    I've been around but whitout an account for a long time now. Not as long as you. And for the exemples I'm talking about the "creepy" posts on reddits, or the weird/dangerous tweets. But as someone else said along side with you : this is just a place where people are able to talk about those issues or even vent, laugh, so the burden will be less painful.

    Yeah I feel you on this. Honestly... I am not a huge fan of posts that are just a one-off tweet of some homophobic, crazy comment from an AGP man with one upvote. I don't upvote those. They usually don't inspire thoughtful discussion, and sometimes I wonder if they make people feel more frustrated and helpless than before (as opposed to potential positives, such as feeling validated seeing other people on the forum acknowledge that those bigoted comments exist).

    I didn't realize that what I am asking for is activism through serious discussions. That's interesting. Maybe I'll join you guys if I think I can bring something from time to time.

    Yeah, no pressure! I used to be a lurker for years on Reddit before I finally made a Saidit account to comment :) You seem like you've been thinking about this a lot, and I think if you commented more people would probably appreciate that about your comments. I know I like talking to people who are into thoughtful discussions.

    [–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

    I'll still like to advocate and help on behalf of homosexuality, because that's also a part of me

    Well, if you are bisexual, then you are bisexual right? Not half heterosexual and half homosexual, but a whole bisexual :)

    I have some thoughts on this. I think arguably bisexuality does include both a homosexual orientation and a heterosexual orientation. This makes sense to me in how I've been thinking about sexual orientation as of late, as in, sexual orientation being a combination of how we each feel toward each of the sexes. This is in line with that article posted by a gay man named Duncan on Medium before his account was banned for wrongthink since he's a homosexual that does not believe in gender ideology.

    In line with this thinking, if you are homosexual, you are attracted to the same sex and not attracted to the opposite sex. But that lack of attraction to the opposite sex can be on a spectrum of neutral, mere non-attraction to sexual repulsion/revulsion. Same with heterosexuality, but in reverse.

    When it comes to bisexuality, a lot of bisexual people seem to have different degrees of attraction to each of the sexes. It does seem that bisexuality is, or can be thought of or experienced as, a combination of two separate orientations. This is also how the Kinsey scale theorizes bisexuality. I think it's an interesting topic and one I would like to hear bisexual perspectives on, both those who see themselves as fully attracted to both sexes and ones who skew one way or the other.

    Perhaps we can also talk about whether monosexuals can have different degrees of attraction to the sex they are attracted to. This is harder for me to theorize on my own because I am quite attracted to women. But maybe there is room for the so called "asexual" lesbians here? I don't know, just a thought and not the main point of this comment.

    [–]Elvira95Viva la figa 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

    One interesting thing is bicycle when bisexuals live periods when they craves one sex and don't care about the other, but after some time they started to crave again the sex they didn't care previously. Other than sounding damn instable, kind make the fear of homosexuals not wanting to date bisexuals even more real.

    [–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    I've heard a couple of bisexual women say they have that experience, but it's not universal and I actually think those people might be in the minority. Would be curious to see a survey on the topic, though. And of course, bisexual men don't get periods so N/A. (Except for some TRAs who think that having constipation = period, lol.)

    [–]Elvira95Viva la figa 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

    What has that to do with periods? You mean ovulation would increase hetero attraction, possibly. But I've heard bisexual men experiencing something similar too. The thing if you're bisexual and equally attracted to both sexes, you might miss one sex after a while of staying with only one of the two sexes. But a bisexual woman in an hetero relationship can far more easily fulfil her homo side, that's why app are filled with bi girls with boyfriend... A lesbian isn't going to accept is girlfriend having an het relationship.

    [–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    What has that to do with periods?

    Which part?

    You mean ovulation would increase hetero attraction, possibly.

    Didn't say that, I have no idea what the mechanism is. That's an interesting idea. What I mean is-- a lot of bisexual people I've talked to don't have sexual attraction patterns that change, it just stays the same for them all the time. Of the people who do have the "bi-cycle" or whatever, only some of them are going to have a cycle that matches up with their period (partly because some "bi-cyclers" are men and don't have periods so their "bi-cycle" would have nothing to match up to).

    [–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Ah, but cycle doesn't mean period in that sense., but just a cycle of time.

    [–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Ohhh, I totally misread your comment as "period = menstruation" not "period = time". Thought you were saying all bisexuals had fluctuating sexual attraction in line with their menstruation... was so confused lol. My bad!

    [–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I have some thoughts on this. I think arguably bisexuality does include both a homosexual orientation and a heterosexual orientation.

    Well, literally speaking when you say it like that, yes. There's a nuance to how the word "orientation" might be used:

    • orientation = "direction," literally just a word to say, "this is a direction I'm attracted in." This is how you just used the word.

    • orientation = "my characteristic set of directions," e.g. homosexual is an orientation, bisexual is an orientation, heterosexual, and asexual. (edit: this is more how I was intending to use the word)

    So then, if you define "homosexual orientation" to be the first of those two use cases, it is reasonable to say, "Bisexual people have two orientations of sexual attraction," but if you define it to be the second of those two use cases, it does not make sense to say, "Bisexual people have two orientations of sexual attraction"-- they can't, because the four "orientations" (again, 2nd use case) are all incompatible with each other. You can't be homosexual and also asexual, etc.

    When it comes to bisexuality, a lot of bisexual people seem to have different degrees of attraction to each of the sexes. It does seem that bisexuality is, or can be thought of or experienced as, a combination of two separate orientations. This is also how the Kinsey scale theorizes bisexuality.

    I think that would be a helpful way to categorize it for facilitating understanding, and in science as well-- seems they are already doing that to some degree by saying "gynephilic" and "androphilic," different words same idea. The only issue I see with that is distinguishing between the two ways that the word "orientation" is used that I described above. I hate to be so picky over word choice, but... unfortunately conversations around sexual orientation definitions can be really heated, last thing I want to do is perpetuate misunderstandings that heterosexual people and the TQ+ might amplify.

    Perhaps we can also talk about whether monosexuals can have different degrees of attraction to the sex they are attracted to. This is harder for me to theorize on my own because I am quite attracted to women. But maybe there is room for the so called "asexual" lesbians here? I don't know, just a thought and not the main point of this comment.

    Hmm, yeah I'm not sure. I mean I've noticed that I tend to only be attracted to women under certain circumstances; the TQ+ would probably call me a "demisexual," lol. But I'm not really convinced a person would be both, goes back to the split attraction model and what "attracted to women without being sexually attracted to them" would even mean.