While I've talked about emotionally intelligent discussion strategies in the past and agree that we could spend more time strategizing, changing our behavior in a casual setting like this to center the needs of people outside the group comes with its own problems. There's something to be said for a space where people are allowed to vent.

Put more clearly, if you say "UUUGH, men are trash," and a friend responds "aCKShelLy you shouldn't say that because not all men," that doesn't mean the friend is more logical, knowledgeable, or level-headed, just that they lack empathy/emotional awareness to some degree. That is, in context, the purpose of the statement was to communicate that something distressing happened to you and you wanted to talk about it, not to literally write off half the population as buffoons. Regardless of whether the friend in this case is 'correct,' it's clear that anyone starting a conversation like that wants the other party to listen and validate their emotions. And instead they get lectured. The natural response to that is to feel hurt or defensive, since the aggrieved party is being told they don't deserve emotional support unless they communicate their problem in the 'right' way, something that takes loads of maturity and practice to do. That's why people will respond poorly to someone coming into a space where they're venting and telling them they can't do that anymore.

The best solution would be having a separate, less trauma-driven space reserved for talking strategy and rhetoric. Unfortunately, all the specialized academics I know working on this problem are radical feminists, so they wouldn't be welcome. (I'm also not interested in the reasons why you want to distance from GC/radical feminism. Please don't waste time explaining it to me.)