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[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 16 fun32 insightful - 15 fun33 insightful - 16 fun -  (5 children)

Chunkee, holy shit did you find a goldmine. I can't help but comment again.

I'm a non-binary ace lesbian who also dated a guy once before I knew I was gay, and if it wasn't for TERFs, gold stars and exclusionists, I would have probably come to terms with my identity a lot sooner.

So ... a person who doesn't identify as male or female, and a person who experiences no sexual attraction or desire, and is also somehow a lesbian.

And it's lesbians and TERFs fault this is unclear.

Wut?

[–]howdidthishappen 25 insightful - 4 fun25 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

Bit off topic, but the amount of times I’ve seen “gold stars” mentioned as these evil, exclusionary villains, is a hundred times higher than I’ve seen it talked about or even mentioned in any way in lesbian spaces over the 10+ years I’ve been out the closet.

Never met a lesbian who gives a serious shit about it and I don’t think I’ve ever met an actual “gold star” lesbian and I don’t think I’d count as one either.

Where are they pulling all these “gold stars” from lol?

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Same. I think the “gold star” topic came up once in the wild for me and it was by a much older women who had just come out as bisexual and wanted to date woman. She said her friend (who sounds suspiciously like an amalgamation of standard comments at r/LBL) said that lesbians won’t date you unless you’re a gold star. I was out with two lesbians, both of whom had been out for nearly a decade and at least one of whom I know not to be a gold star. I’m not a gold star either. Literally no one has ever cared about my history or even asked if I’m a gold star. This seems more like an Internet myth cultivated by the inexperienced and passed on by the inexperienced and it does get cited against lesbians in a very aggressive way. Maybe once or twice online I saw a lesbian seriously state that they only wanted gold star lesbians and one of them was dating a bisexual woman with kids from her previous relationship with a man, so uh, yea.

As a side note, this first lady was a friend of a colleague (really my superior). I was roped into this under the guise of us being welcoming to her but it seemed like I was unknowingly against my will backdoored into a date with my boss’s friend by his wife. Fun times turning down those advances while trying to avoid awkwardness at work.

And for the record, I was closer in age to her kids than to her. 🤣 She looked very good for her age, but she also looked and acted 100% like a Real Housewife. Not exactly my type.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

"she also looked and acted 100% like a Real Housewife."

Do you mean elegant, feminine and horny? Hot

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Overall, I seem to be attracted to masculine appearing women with an interesting mix of feminine and masculine qualities or feminine appearing women with an interesting mix of feminine and masculine qualities. I personally fall into the latter camp. I guess I like women who surprise me. And it’s all about having some obvious combo of both. Not a blend. Not neither. She was just feminine but demanding and high maintenance.

She has multiple instagram accounts including one for fashion. She is conventionally pretty, feminine in appearance, and wealthy, has expensive taste, and yes did make some thirsty comments to me. And it’s because of this whole fiasco that I ended up committing to the relationship I’m currently in . . . .

This woman was assertive, but not in the ways I’m attracted to. She was loud and demanding to waitstaff. I am an introvert so I tend to do better with extroverts who are chill in many ways. She had no chill and was very exhausting to be around. Also, I didn’t like her voice.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, I get this. Totally annoying type of woman, As an introverted, don't you do better with others introverts? I like I feel more connection to someone of the same wave lenght? What would you describe as feminine and masculine qualities? I don't like masculinity, in a look sense and especially behaviour sense.Not that is impossible for me to be attracted to masculine women, after all they're women. But its far less likely because I like femininity. Also to me femininity is huge part about mannerism/personality. How did you end up with your girlfriend after this wealthy bitch? Lol

PS: Voice is important to me too. I find high type of very feminine voices attractive.