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[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Bisexual female here. Known I'm bi since I was a young teen, 11 or 12, somewhere around there. Didn't officially come out until my early 20s though.

Would you consider that your experience was positive or negative overall? Why?

I didn't experience negativity myself. There were no bisexuals who were out, that wasn't really an acknowledged sexuality then. But it FELT negative because even though I was a piece of shit kid when I was young, I did still have some sense of empathy. There was rampant homophobia against gay men and lesbians (perceived or otherwise), but mostly gay men since it was the 80s/90s and the AIDS crisis was in full bloom. I didn't experience anything personally because I wasn't out, and I didn't know of anyone else who was out. But rumors and gossip were everywhere, and there was a culture of fear and puritanical conservatism towards anyone who might possibly not be hetero.

Do you feel like you missed out on certain things because you were gay or bi? If so, which things? (ex: dating, lack of friends because of bullying/not being able to relate/etc etc)

I suppose I missed out on female-curious girls allowing me space to explore my own sexuality? Although I don't necessarily think being bi had anything to do with that, I think it's more a matter of my upbringing. My family was oppressive and controlling, and violated boundaries any chance they got. There wasn't really room for being an individual.

How do you feel being gay/bi has impacted you as a person? (On a positive side for example, do you feel you became a more open minded and non judgemental person? On a negative side, do you feel you became a more anxious person? Etc etc)

I've been anxious and depressed most of my life, long before I knew about sex or sexuality. I think as I've grown, I've become more open-minded about identity and exploration and growth - sexual, spiritual, mental, emotional, etc. I'm a judgemental person, don't get me wrong. I will critique other people I come across, and more than likely make snap judgments that aren't fair. But I won't be an executioner or burn you at the stake for having different opinions than me, I want to hear them, and I will examine my own perceptions and feelings and try to find a middle/common ground. I believe we all have room to learn, including myself.

EXCEPT ...

If someone else makes LGB a big deal in an inappropriate place and disrupts the peace because their feelings and opinions must reign supreme. I'm over here just trying to live my life and find a slice of happiness, and it's really disruptive to have agendas, even those of LGB, shoved in my face. I'm talking about things like having Sunday brunch, walking down the street with my dog, grabbing groceries, those sort of things. Our sexuality doesn't matter and shouldn't be an issue unless we're being prevented from participating in normal everyday life because of it. There most certainly is a time and place to protest, but hurt feelings and/or non-acceptance from randos is not discrimination, that's just life.

I don't think I would have that view if I weren't a part of LGB. I don't think I would have even considered the nuances at all.

Do you feel like it's important for you to have other gay friends or is it indifferent?

After I came out, it was very important because it helped me feel a sense of normalcy and community. After a while though, it didn't matter at all. Sexual orientation doesn't mean or change anything in day-to-day life. Every person loves who we love and we fuck who we fuck, so I'm indifferent.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you for sharing your story, dear mod! <3 Bi representation here, I think it's the only one so far! Let's see if more bi people will join!! :) I'm sorry for all the bad things you went through, and happy for the things which made you grow! Take care.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you <3