Family / RelationshipsGuy I've started dating is a trans ally

submitted by jjdub7TERF (Trans Exterminating Reactionary Fascist) from self.LGBDropTheT

Seemingly great guy. Totally blue-pilled by trans movement. What do I do?

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[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ask him what would he do if you both were to have children, and one of the children came out as trans. If you don’t like his answer, you’re better off being single.

[–]jjdub7TERF (Trans Exterminating Reactionary Fascist)[S] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, was thinking about this because he is very much pro-having-children, and people's "tolerance" for this kind of stuff is known to quickly vanish once its THEIR kids being granted emancipated minor status and forcibly transitioned with state funds.

[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I realized my friends were drinking the TRA koolaid I just backed away. I personally feel like it's a waste of my time to try and change people's minds about this stuff. It can already be extremely difficult to change people's minds about anything; it's much harder to do it when you're dealing with an issue like this where they believe they're on "the right side of history" and that everyone who disagrees must be a bigot.

If you want to stay with him then you're probably just better off trying to avoid even bringing up this topic, and trying to change the subject when it does come up. If you want to try and change his mind about it, I've seen some people suggest the Socratic Method, to try and get him to think about what he believes.

[–]Finnegan7921 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You won't change his mind. Find some dumb excuse to break it off and do not, under any circumstances mention the trans stuff being the reason. Possibly he or someone he tells about the breakup could put it out on the internet that jjdub7 is a fascist bigot, dox you, etc.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

If you get along well , tolerate his different view. I mean isn't going to effect you, right? Unless you have kids an he encourage them to transition of course.

[–]bopomofodojo 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As noble as this is, TRA-types usually bring it up constantly and it can be very grating. I guess it depends whether this is happening or not.

[–]jjdub7TERF (Trans Exterminating Reactionary Fascist)[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, this is my baseline stance. I lean pretty right, so I'm used to "agree to disagree" and honestly usually just want to have stimulating conversations when it comes to politics, rather than try and evangelize my worldview as the "right side of history" or whatever.

[–]NeedMoreCoffee~=[,,_,,]=^_^= 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A lot of us were TRA's before. If he is great take your time, communicate about it gently and see how it goes?

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have some arguments over this but I try to point out the super crazy stuff and we can usually agree on that at least! Most people are oblivious because they believe these lying TRA. We aren't harassing them, just speaking facts.

If he is too far gone it might not work long term.

At least he should agree kids don't need surgery or cross sex hormones. That is what I care about most but for some it is bathrooms, sports, whatever the topic there are horrible examples to use. Good luck!

[–]justagaydude123 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Show him how TRAs really act. It's your moral obligation to peak him.

[–]Tikiri 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

How much of a TRA is he? I mean, I think almost all (if not all) of us started out being TRAs, and we all came to realize what these people truly were/wanted. If you can have productive conversations with him about TRAs - without sacrificing your mental and emotional health and well-being! - it may be worth seeing how it’ll work out.

BUT - you also should see how much time that’s taking i.m.h.o. If it’s a constant timesuck, or whatever you find to be too much time, then break it off. Because the more time you spend trying to talk to him about it, the more chances you lose of finding the right man.

[–]jjdub7TERF (Trans Exterminating Reactionary Fascist)[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We chatted a bit about it last night. Seems like he's just a passive ally, not really gung-ho TRA, but just on board because of The Initialism.

Let the peaking begin - I've got "emotional labor" to spare.

[–]julesburm1891 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Have an honest conversation with him and see if you’re both still interested with all cards on the table.

[–]pacsatonifil 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If you can try to be happy and don’t let it come between you, but just like he is honest about his beliefs you should also feel free to talk to him. People can disagree in political issues in relationships and be happy together. If you want just softly expose him to issues that affect real people. Help him get there. Though I personally would be honest. People rarely change their views.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

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