HomophobiaThat's called homophobia...

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[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

Some parents are so dumb when it comes to transgender homosexual children. I’m glad though that your mother has accepted that you are a lesbian. Also, my advice to parents who want grandchildren is to have at least three children, just in case one of these children is homosexual or childfree.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Eh, she tried to give me brother or sister but almost died for a miscarriage and never tried again.Sometimes I feel seriously guilty about not giving grandchildren. But there is mix of me being introverted and wanting all my time to be mine,and not living for someone else, also think is cruel to put people in this world since life is mostly responsabilities and suffering not joy. Also I want to change country, travel and have fun. Can't see myself being ready for family before 40, if I lucky enough to get married. And by then my eggs will be useless. Sometimes, I think I should get them frozen just in case I change my mind. I know what you think about artificial insemination, but also raising someone not biologically yours would be quite not the same as a bio daughter with my mother name. Blood isn't water, as we italians say

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

That’s unfortunate. Your mother is lucky to have you, even if you can’t give her grandchildren. Besides, not everyone becomes a grandparent.

I feel the same way about having children. I would like to be a father, but I’m not prepared for it because I’m single and I’m only in part time employment because of the lockdowns. Even if I was married to a stable man and I had a decent job or he had a decent job, I’m adopting. I’m against surrogacy, but I also see the way society is going and I don’t see it as a good idea to bring children into a world like that. Lockdowns, war, neoliberalism… if I was straight and I wanted children badly, I’d get a woman who wants what I want, we’d move to the countryside, we’d grow our own plants and we’d live as off the grid as possible so that my children could be independent off the government and corporations. Though we are heading in that direction, because a growing number of people are realising that corporations and governments are bad. Nevertheless, it doesn’t help that I’m an introvert with a disability, so even if I was straight, it’s unlikely I could raise a child.

As for my brother and my sister, they don’t have kids either. My brother has gone back to college and it will be years before he can have children, but he is male and has an eternal reproduction system so he’s not in a hurry. He could still have kids eventually. But it will definitely be a long time before that happens. My sister doesn’t want kids at all. Sometimes I feel bad that my parents don’t have grandchildren, especially my mother, who is the only one of her siblings who doesn’t have grandchildren. But it’s out of my control. I can’t have kids, so it’s up to my siblings if they want kids. Now, my mother doesn’t mind that she doesn’t have grandchildren, and she understands we’re not ready to be parents.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

They're sad about never being grandparents. They're the only ones of their siblings with no grandchildren. South italians care a lot about family. Also, both my parents surnames are going to never get passed since both side of their family had daughter. I could technically pass my surname since I won't be with a man. But yeah, too introverted and selfish to want to do it ahah Although falling in love and finding the right one can change your mind, since all the in love chemical are just a trick to make yourself reproduce and stay attached to the parents to raise children. But as a woman I got just very short timeframe to even decide I want kids, if I want them biological. It isn't like I can reproduce at 50 like a man. That's why I wonder if women should just freeze their gametes in case of changing mind. But literally zero mother instict, feel like raising kids is a chore. I like kids, I just don't feel like wanting responsability over them.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I don’t like the idea of having responsibility over a child either. With children, you have no time to yourself. As an introvert, I need to be alone for at least one hour a day to recharge. But who knows?

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Exactly I need alone time. With kids you can forget alone time, you will have to give your life to someone else for several years. I don't see nothing good about it. Would you date a single parent?

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

A parent can still get some alone time if there’s another parent present. And also if the child is able to entertain himself with his toys, his books and his imagination. A child needs two parents anyway.

I could date a single father. As long as he’s a good father, his kids are good kids and I can get along with his kids. But I also have to agree with how he raises his kids on certain things. And I also have to be financially stable, because then those kids are going to rely on me if I date their father.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right, depends on the kid, some can be quite indepedent and responsability should be shared. Single parenting is so hard But why would they rely on you? You're not the father, it's unfair to ask you for financial responsability. Feels like dating a single parent get al the negatives of parenting without the satisfaction of them being yours. And you will always come second in your partner list of important people. Must to be why it's a dealbreaker for many, especially the ones with no desire for kids.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It isn't like I can reproduce at 50 like a man.

I've gotta point out, though, that while men are fertile longer than women, if they have biological kids at age 40 or over? MUCH higher likelihood of genetic problems. Really not a great idea for people of either sex to reproduce beyond their 30s. And somewhere in your 20s is optimal, as far as the health of your offspring (and the mother) goes. Too bad industrialized cultures don't make this economically feasible for most, forcing people to defer having kids till they've managed to complete their education, establish themselves in a career, and carve out some kind of financial stability. Completely at odds with human biology. Kinda like the whole trans thing! And sometimes I can't help but wonder: is this first-baby-at-40 phenomenon possibly contributing to it? Greater chance of having kids with autism, and apparently being autistic makes you vulnerable to perceiving yourself as "trans"...