LesbianI was expected to smile my way through it all”: A lesbian transwidow tells her heart-wrenching story to Jo Bartosch

submitted by millicentfawcett from (lesbianandgaynews.com)

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[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Very interesting read. Also pretty interesting to get the perspective of a lesbian transwidow, usually it's straight women.

Also, I feel like this just goes to show that, regardless of what your sexual orientation is, staying just isn't worth it. If your partner comes out as trans, just leave immediately. Especially if you share financial assets, it's better to just get out of there before they start blowing your savings on surgeries or whatever. Starting to compromise on your own identity to prop up theirs isn't fair to you and also seems to be a major red flag, from what I've seen.

I also don't know if there's any data to back this up, but from what I've seen very few couples survive one of them coming out as trans, anyway. Best just to cut your losses.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Maybe it's because I'm old, maybe it's because I have my own battle scars. But I draw a very harsh and unwavering line with things like this. Love is a two-way street, it is a reciprocal activity, it is always conditional, conditional on both parties bringing something to the table (I'm talking about two adults, not parent-child love). Love is not, nor should be, unconditional.

If you partner changes the rules so drastically that there is no room for you or your own story, then it's time to leave. Period. There is no negotiation on this point.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Gotta agree, this is in no way an “in sickness and in health” situation, wher you are sticking through your partner through adversity. They are radically altering their body to the point of it affecting things in the bedroom, AND also requiring the trans widow to completely alter their own language about themselves, as far as sexual identity, and their relationship.

[–]Ladiablapequena 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Finally. Someone not preaching about unconditional love. I was starting to think I was weird because my love isn't unconditional.

[–]DropItLikeItsHot 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

“I got really mad at her for that because it had taken me so much time and pain and disapproval from my own family until I could even say, ‘I’m gay’ without feeling myself burn with shame. I felt really sad, too. I had come to see myself as a lesbian after years of searching for an explanation of everything I was feeling and felt like I was losing some part of my ‘own identity’ even though she hadn’t even changed anything yet. She was mad because this meant I wasn’t accepting her as the real man she felt she was within.

“In the end, I just stopped referring to my own sexual orientation at all. I figured it was easier to just stay with her and keep my mouth shut.”

This is fucking awful to read. Yet more stories of trans people declaring their partner's sexual orientation isn't important as their own newfound identity that requires chopping off body parts. We've truly let mental illness be placed on a special podium and the damage it's causing is rampant.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Heartbreaking story. I don't know how we will ever escape this gender madness.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is depressing. I hope she is doing better now. And I hope that her parents are more supportive of her. The LGB community has really let her down.

[–]millicentfawcett[S] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A moving interview from a woman whose girlfriend transitioned.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Jesus, poor girl.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is a very lonely experience to be the only one to remember a relationship while the other seems to remember a different reality altogether… I know this is cliché but it really felt like the girl I knew, in part at least, had died, and I was the only one left to remember her. Actually, the only one that wanted to remember her. Everyone else was busy celebrating her new identity as him.

Damn, that is one depressing story. This Trans crap is so wrong. And all these useless "Allies" never truly gave a shit about what really mattered when it did.

I'll bet it would've almost been a relief(like a breath of air when drowning) to hear some random person say she's still female rather than this truth-crushing affirmation hugbox.