LifestyleMy lesbian friend is now trans and is trying to convince me that I am too

submitted by SillyGoose from (self.LGBDropTheT)

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[–]slushpilot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

My point in typing this out is this: why can't I just be a lesbian?

Honest question: at 17, how many sexual relationships have you had? How many long-term relationships?

Maybe you are a lesbian, and that's great. I just can't understand the need to label yourself, and the same goes for your friends who think they'll use such-and-such pronouns as if it's a fashion choice you can pick out out of a hat—rather than a deeply-felt sense of self, which ultimately takes some time to reflect on through experience and figure out for oneself.

This obsession about identity labels is immature and short-sighted. Just be for now, and figure out where you land once you've lived a bit more. Tell your friends the same.

[–]SillyGoose[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have struggled with this a lot, since I feel like I have to prove myself, but I know that I like women and I have no interest in men in the same way that my straight friends know that they only like women or only like men. Nobody questions them even though they have not been in a relationship. Honestly, I don't think I have an obsession with labels. I don't go around talking about things like that because I have much more interesting things to talk about, like my hobbies or goals in life. I only really mentioned it here because it is relevant to what I am experiencing with my trans friend. My point in saying "why can't I just be a lesbian" is that my sexuality is a big part of why my friend is pushing me to identify as trans, the other part being my tendency to gravitate towards men's clothes. In my day-to-day life, I don't think about my sexuality or talk about it with people since it isn't a big deal to me. I understand what you are saying though, I just don't think that is what I am doing here.

[–]slushpilot 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's good. You sound like you have your head on your shoulders, and you don't have to prove anything to anyone. I just wanted to push on that because I've seen kids start to label and hence limit themselves with a sexual identity before they've even kissed someone. I'm not saying that's you, but be wary of it.