DiscussionBi men in gay spaces – examples of constant homophobia, misinformation and undermining our definitions

submitted by lazy-summer-godSuper Gay from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]jim_steak 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Practically speaking, how do you plan to enforce a gay man only space, especially online? I think a lot of the problems you're outlining with bisexual men in gay spaces are related to bi men identifying as gay, and I think, unfortunately, being more strict about only gay men being allowed in spaces bi men want to enter just incentivizes bi men to lie about their sexuality. Maybe having this conversation with bi men and explaining how lying about their sexuality hurts gay men could be helpful on agb?

[–]lazy-summer-godSuper Gay[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

And that's exactly what I have in mind. Askgaybros is unmoderated, so no one should be banned from it, no matter who they are. Bi people need to understand for themselves the value of having their own spaces instead of invading others, which is an act of self-erasure, rooted in the idea that bisexuals are just straight and gay at the same time. And I did convince some bi men to leave AGB, in the spirit of peace and reasonable conversation.

The problem is, many don't want to leave, because they have nowhere else to go. Latching onto gay communities, their own are underdeveloped and empty. It's difficult to banish them to those now and kind of a shitty thing to do, but I do believe it should be done.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I think that would backfire on you in the future, to finally purify your community only for it to wither away do to lack of interest. The men you kick out will likely resent you, regardless of what tone you try to keep with them.

[–]lazy-summer-godSuper Gay[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Pity. I don't intend to bend to majority just because I'm a minority. As homosexuals, we have lots of enemies and we certainly won't reach freedom by allowing these enemies to do whatever the fuck they want to our community.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What do you want?