RantB in LG spaces dilemma

submitted by lazy-summer-godSuper Gay from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]schomee 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I dont think you understand how intense homophobia is and how it works in the gay world, where it's meant to be used for and homophobia towards lesbians is more like ricocheting bullets. No bisexual is trying to identify as gay. It's almost like saying a bunch of non pedophiles are trying to appropriate the stigma of pedophilia. It's an extreme example but you understand that the stigma is the barrier. If someone says theyre a pedophile, you believe them. Just like we dont doubt when someone admits they're a rapist. The stigma is the certification. The homophobia is extreme on the male end. They might tell you because you're bi but you're in a cosmopolitan city. Plenty of "straight" men tell me theyre bi all the time but theyre not lining up to claim the word gay from gay people. That's only women who do that because it's "fun" on their end as a costume to put on that they can take off.

What's that saying straight men have? "you can fuck 10,000 women but if you kiss one guy when you were 15, then you'll be gay forever". Lesbians and women dont have a true understanding of homophobia because it's not really meant for them. You have lesbians and bisexual women at war with one another over gatekeeping the word lesbian. The word "gay" is walled off and protected by a giant powerful barrier of stigma that keeps it "clean".

[–]usehername 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

No bisexual is trying to identify as gay.

This is absolutely untrue, though they may be rare. These bis make being "gay" a huge part of their identity, usually have some trauma with the opposite sex, and are heavily same-sex leaning. Have you changed your stance? I remember agreeing on this earlier.

Plenty of "straight" men tell me theyre bi all the time

Really? When/where? What demographic? I've just never met one, which ik is anecdotal. edit: Wait, are they actually straight or not? Unclear.

The word "gay" is walled off and protected by a giant powerful barrier of stigma that keeps it "clean".

Ik we're talking about bis here, but plenty of women are appropriating the word (though for fetishistic reasons), so it's not much of a stretch to say that bi men may do the same.

As for straights appropriating bi, that seems to be a lot less common than people think, and is used as a scapegoat every single time, as if no bisexual has ever done anything that could harm the rest of LGB (since they are also hurting themselves).

[–]schomee 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

My main point was that i highly doubt a bunch of straight men are identifying as bi or gay for fun. In their world, there's massive stigma attached to it. Even bi men have trouble coming out as bi so it's not like it's some fun costume for a straight man to try on for fun. If there are cases, it's usually from extremely cosmopolitan areas.

[–]usehername 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My main point was that i highly doubt a bunch of straight men are identifying as bi or gay for fun.

I agree with that, but there are bi men who identify as gay for many reasons.