Virtue SignalingStolen from s/bisexuals- IKEA's ugly couch contest 🏳️‍🌈

submitted by PatsyStoneMaverique from twitter.com

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[–]Poppy29252Natal Cat Woman 13 insightful - 9 fun13 insightful - 8 fun14 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

Genderfluid couch, also known as a topography map.

I love the tweet that says these couches make them feel seen and loved. It's a fucking couch.

[–]DropItLikeItsHot 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Seriously, if you need your personal identity validated by commercial companies pandering to you in an attempt to make money off you, there's something seriously wrong and fragile with your identity.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

If I was dating a bisexual man and I bought him that couch as a present, I would hope to Christ he’d dump me for that.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Sorry, here's all of them

The bisexual couch is Tim Burton fabulous.

The lesbian couch is the best by far, kind of generic though.

I think the non-binary one is the best mix of creative and not ugly as hell.

Note the group of people most likely to appreciate being artistically represented in couch form did not get their own couch.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 11 fun8 insightful - 10 fun9 insightful - 11 fun -  (0 children)

The lesbian couch probably has random dicks hidden in it.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

All of these designs are ugly. I’m fine with not being represented.

[–]julesburm1891 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (5 children)

Lest anyone think this is a joke here is IKEA’s list of them.

I’d marry my partner to divorce her if she brought any of these home.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

“Being non-binary means I don’t have to be masculine, I don’t have to be feminine. I can be whatever I want to be.” Why do you have to be non-binary for that to be true? Do they hear themselves? Do these non-binary fulcks go around treating men and women like 1950’s stereotypes to make it clear that they’re something different?

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Being non-binary means being a boring grey with superfluous pops of ostentatious rainbow stripes to try to look different and stand out. See: couch.

[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Why does the nonbinary couch look like it's wearing bondage gear? And why does the bisexual couch low key look like something out of a horror movie?

[–]Femaleisnthateful 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

They truly are all hideous. It looks like IKEA just repurposed some leftover upholstery. The bisexual and lesbian couches don't even reflect the flags, and the non-binary one with the belts? is just bizarre.

LMAO at Genderfluid John's description of they's "unapologetic self-love". I think I saw a guy in the woods doing that on my walk the other day...

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So much subtext! Art is an adventure 🤮

I love that Genderfluid John's pattern looks like spilled automotive fluids.

[–]Shales123 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

The bisexual couch makes me feel violated

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I'd never sit on it for fear of being groped by ghost clowns 👻

[–]Cable 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

The transgender one will sell the most because they love buying tacky shit that targets them.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sure that's why they made two.

[–]strawberrycake 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Those ghostly hands look like they’re going to strangle me like something from Fatal Frame.

Also, love how there’s no couch for gay men. We’ve been swallowed up by the “Progress” flag.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Right? What gives?

Gay men probably don't see yourselves as dollar store flowers stapled to a plain stock couch anyway. Good metaphor for the Queer Movement, though.

[–]serf_n_terfStraight Ally - Surf’s up! 🏄‍♀️ 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Why isn’t there a pleather, dick-shaped couch with leashes hanging off the sides? IKEA is kinkphobic and has killed countless folx by erasing them!!!!!! Pleather dicks are VaLiD /s

[–]Dromedary 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

They aren't really couches, they're LOVE seats. Why design a 2-person LOVE seat for Asexuals and not gay men? Lol, asexuals should have a hard wooden chair.

Had a good laugh on Twitter where a person presenting as a Native American activist sort had a screech-whine how she was SO OFFENDED that Ikea (Swedish company) didn't have a 2 Spirit NA design the hideous "2 Spirt Couch". I had no idea that precious sacred 2 Spirit iconography included the original rainbow flag (born 1978, died 2021). The whole world's gone ridiculous.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm suspicious of 2 Spirit as a concept. I grew up around Native Americans and never heard boo about 2 Spirit anything from anybody, ever. They were all Baptist and Catholic. People have names they only use with family, etc. but the fact I never heard it even mentioned makes me wonder if it isn't an internet phenomenon like the rest of the gender cult.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Behold: now there's a tacky af couch for STRAIGHT people, too! (courtesy of the dripping-with-/s comments about IKEA's Shame oh sorry I meant Pride Loveseat Line):

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/837677948877406248/860528905458810880/E5EMvz4WYAQ1GdV.png

Love how this fictitious one cuts right to the chase! And features "art" that looks like it was scrawled on the wall of a public restroom (all that's missing is "for a good time, call...").

[–]GConly 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I haven't seen a couch that ugly since the seventies.