However we cannot escape the fact that, generally, it is cis gay identities and not the vast spectrum of queer identities which have been given the biggest platform. "Coming out as a singular process," writes Suzanna, "depended on the establishment of a gay identity and a gay movement to make it happen." In other words, for the coming out narrative to be successful, you need the category of 'the homosexual' – and while we may imagine that to have always existed, it’s very much a 20th century phenomenon. As Suzanna writes: "As many historians and theorists have convincingly argued, the homosexual as a distinct category, a demarcated identity (rather than, say, a set of possible sexual acts or preferences) is a very modern invention, as is the heterosexual."

The narrowness of the concept of coming out and the language we use to describe it means it is no longer politically useful or reflective of the spectrum of identities that make up the LGBTQIAA+ community

Gay people have to "come out" if we want to live our lives openly and date or have sex or find a long-term partner! As a lesbian, if I stay closeted, I either have to hide my girlfriend and our relationship or I have to stay single, same for gay men. Because straight is the default in society. Nothing changes if you "stay in the closet" as a demisexual greyace pansexual transfemme, to your relationships (family, friends, coworkers, community), dating or sex life. You just show the world your raging narcissism.

Coming out and Pride are for same-sex attracted people! Lesbians, gays and bisexuals. Not straight people lacking personalities.