you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]JulienMayfair 51 insightful - 1 fun51 insightful - 0 fun52 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I posted this elsewhere, but I've noticed that one common TRA strategy is to break things down into weird little pieces and then come up with arguments based on those pieces in isolation with no reference to how those pieces are integral to some kind of whole. The thing is, attraction is holistic. We take in everything about that person.

If you're 6'6" with a square jaw, wide shoulders, a prominent Adam's apple, huge hands, and a deep voice, you're not going to come across to anyone as female. Anyone who can see will add those things up in a fraction of a second. Talking about genitals and genital preferences is a red herring. Attraction is not based on any one thing; it's the whole picture.

We should always call TRAs out on this when they pursue style of argument.

Edit: I have a high-functioning autistic friend, and he has a tendency to do this as well. He's a friend, but it can be maddening.

[–]Criticallacitirc 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I think its a weird manifestation of the equal rights movement. Lots of kids have grown up hearing that men & women are equal, which they've incorrectly interpreted as there's no difference between men & women. Which is why they say insane things, like you can't tell someone's sex just by looking at them or not understanding physical differences in sports.

[–]JulienMayfair 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I see your point, but I still think it's mainly a bad-faith argument technique. They seize on one part of the picture, like what genitals one has, but that's never an isolated issue. It's that, plus all the other details that don't fit.

For example, a friend of a friend is a trans woman. In terms of appearance, she passes well, but every time I talk to her, I become aware that I'm talking to someone who used to be a man. It's the things she's interested in and the directions she chooses to take in the conversation. She talks like a guy.

[–]our_team_is_winning 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

every time I talk to her, I become aware that I'm talking to someone who used to be a man

He is still a man. That's like talking to someone who wears a cosplay costume full time. It's just a costume.

[–]bopomofodojo 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

For example, a friend of a friend is a trans woman. In terms of appearance, she passes well, but every time I talk to her, I become aware that I'm talking to someone who used to be a man. It's the things she's interested in and the directions she chooses to take in the conversation. She talks like a guy.

Felt the same way about most trans people I've met. If you talk to them long enough, no matter how well they pass, there come up little things that will always suggest they were socialized as the opposite sex (i.e. their birth sex), be it music choices, phrasing and word choice, the way they talk about other people, etc.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Once had a conversation with a friend about a mutual acquaintance who was trans. My friend didn't know that. He said to me, "She sounds like she's mansplaining."

[–]bopomofodojo 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

YUP, among transwomen that's one of the biggest tells. They just... sound and act like men. That sort of crap was my peak trans moment. Thankfully I haven't had much experience with them outside of a few one-off acquaintances and the Internet; I've actually met more transmen, and they come off the opposite - like "guys" who hadn't been teen boys (and everything that comes with that) and who had a lot of suspiciously... female tastes in various things. As a GNC guy I get it, and it's usually only obvious after knowing, but still, I've definitely noticed a pattern there.

[–]Rosefield 13 insightful - 6 fun13 insightful - 5 fun14 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

who used to be a man

Yeah and I used to be human until I identified as parrot. Dude is and will always be a man.