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[–]SuperGayIsOkay 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Oh god, he was wearing tight enough clothing that the boner was visible? Disgusting.

Autogynephilia in public is inherently rapey. No trans activist will ever be able to convince me otherwise. They're basically demanding all people, lesbian women in particular, essentially be unwitting sexual tools for them. Fucking gross.

[–]usehername 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh god, he was wearing tight enough clothing that the boner was visible?

Jeggings :X

Autogynephilia in public is inherently rapey. No trans activist will ever be able to convince me otherwise. They're basically demanding all people, lesbian women in particular, essentially be unwitting sexual tools for them. Fucking gross.

100% agree. Subjecting people to your kink without their consent is rapey as hell and there's no defense for it. It should legally be considered sexual harassment.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I feel dirty asking this (so please don’t respond if it makes you uncomfortable) but at the time you noticed that sexual reaction from the TW, did that change how you looked at trans women at all? Or how did your mind process that?

I only ask bc I think I may have just turned a corner in peaking my lesbian “non-binary” friend who is otherwise a pretty huge TRA. And she was telling me the other day as I sat there horrified about the times she tried to be “inclusive” of and welcoming toward a a colleague who had sent a message to the entire company announcing he was coming out as trans (which I’ve actually been able to find bc for some reason he wanted it on the public record). Anyway she said that he always took their conversations to highly sexualized inappropriate places and was constantly talking about his penis and sexual activity he was engaged in. She said it takes a lot for her to be uncomfortable and this made her uncomfortable. I was internally screaming.

It’s just that she then went on to work on briefing to get men like him into women’s bathrooms and locker rooms. I was floored by the cognitive dissonance. But then everything we talked about after that she heard me out on a number of points. I didn’t raise AGP because I think she would have shut down at that point because it sounds to crazy to be true.

[–]usehername 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

at the time you noticed that sexual reaction from the TW, did that change how you looked at trans women at all?

It was jarring, in order to mask the AGP, they have a myth going around that men get boners from "gender euphoria". They have a talking point for everything. I was a young teen (I think 14?) and had never had sex before, and didn't have many male friends at the time, so I believed it could be possible for a man to be so happy he just got a boner. I had heard of "rage boners" before, so I guess I just assumed men were freaks who could get a boner with any emotion if it was strong enough...

So yeah, I was able to kind of hand-wave it because of the "gender euphoria boner" myth, but it definitely planted a seed. All my coworkers were laughing their asses off in the back after he left, but I felt like I couldn't laugh or acknowledge that there was anything wrong with it or I would be transphobic.

Like I said, I was a young teen, so very susceptible to propaganda. I used to follow tons of propaganda accounts on Instagram, which is where I heard all these myths and why I'm familiar with literally every talking point. TRA rhetoric appeared to me to be a widely-accepted consensus, which it was a little, but only by people who parroted the talking points and never employed much critical thinking on the subject. However, the majority of people don't do that. They just smile and nod because they're afraid of looking transphobic, or avoid the subject at all costs. Of course, I didn't understand the way social media algorithms worked at the time. It was only when I visited r/detrans and read their stories that I realized it was all a sham. That lead me to r/GenderCritical and r/LGBDropTheT where I read about AGP and I instantly thought of that event. Before that, I, like many others, thought HSTSs made up the vast majority of the trans community.

she then went on to work on briefing to get men like him into women’s bathrooms and locker rooms. I was floored by the cognitive dissonance.

I've always been very liberal, even unironically calling myself an SJW at one point (cringe I know have mercy I was a young teen). I was just 100% convinced it was a civil rights issue exactly like the gay and black civil rights movements. They are very effective with their propaganda and censorship; I had literally never seen anything to the contrary.

everything we talked about after that she heard me out on a number of points.

What points were those? TRAs can be hard to crack.

I didn’t raise AGP because I think she would have shut down at that point because it sounds to crazy to be true.

Even my mother, who is far from TRA and has competed athletically against trans-identified males (so she understands why it's an issue), balked at this suggestion. I explained to her the role of "sissy hypno" porn, and the way orgasm is a very powerful conditioner because of the fact that humans need to reproduce to survive, though if your friend is a TRA, she's probably staunchly pro-porn and that wouldn't work. You could try sending her this research on the negative effects of porn on the brain in order to ease her into that one: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/research/

Another statistic that works for explaining AGP is the fact that the vast majority of trans-identified males keep their penises https://fairplayforwomen.com/penis/

If you brought up AGP, she would likely hit you with these talking points:

  1. AGP isn't real; it's a transphobic myth. Women also think of themselves as women when fantasizing about sex.

Response: AGP doesn't mean a person thinks of themselves as a women during sexual fantasies. Someone who is an AGP is aroused by the thought of himself as a woman. A normal, healthy woman is not aroused by to herself or her feminine characteristics. A healthy person is attracted to other people.

This is an excellent video of an AGP explaining it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_SZfRpTO1Q

  1. All trans women aren't perverts. They said that all gay men were perverts too. The perverts are just bad apples/not real trans women.

Response: All trans women aren't perverts, but the fact is, current laws allow male perverts to access vulnerable women, whether you consider them to be "true trans women" or not. Also, it is estimated that around 80% of trans women are autogynephilic.

https://www.autogynephilia.life/home

Our reddit subs are gone, but I encourage you to send her to r/detrans and read their stories. It's good for peaking because a lot of the people there aren't anti-transition, so she won't be scared off, but after reading enough stories, it becomes obvious that transition isn't a permanent solution to their problems. Dysphoria often worsens after transition. It's better to accept yourself as you are.