A while back I typed out a response to your comment that I described above and then ended up deleting it before I could post it because ultimately I did not think it was productive. I thought you were acting hypocritical af and exhibiting as much of a blindspot and grudge as you were accusing myself and others of having.

But what you don’t seem to realize is that “lesbian” is not really an important “identity” for me. The only person I tend to refer to myself as such to is my girlfriend. There is nothing on the public record attaching my name or face to the word “lesbian” or “gay.” I’m out in that I openly date women, and I engage in public displays of affection with women. But I never made any public statement on social media or otherwise about being “gay” or a “lesbian” or “LGBTQ” or whatever. So I think probably a lot of people do assume I am bisexual because I was in a long-term relationship with a man, and that is on the public record. But people making that assumption about me doesn’t bother me at all and it would not an unreasonable assumption to make.

My point is I don’t feel like I’m engaged in some homosexual vs bisexual or lesbian vs bi woman battle. That seems to be more your lens than mine and you’re projecting it on me. I view same-sex attraction as one thing with different strains. I view the sameness before the differences. I recognize that we have overlapping interests and experiences but not identical ones. I want there to be some semblance of LGB solidarity that exists independent of gender identity. That’s why I’m here. To learn about what others are going through.

I’m willing to listen, and I don’t apply different standards to people in here based on their sexual orientation but sometimes that information is helpful in understanding where they’re coming from, and potential biases, and blindspots.

But I do know why I found a number of your comments notable and that was because you didn’t seem to care or understand how [insert emotion here] it is for people to tell us homosexuality is a lifestyle choice and how absurd that feels based on our own life experiences. I initially noticed it when you tried to call me out for suggesting that a person who was literally preaching to us that he is attracted to both sexes but chooses to be with one for moral reasons and that therefore we must be attracted to both sexes too and that our homosexuality was inherently a choice, is bisexual.