LGB ErasureJulie Bindel: There's no gay gene – and I love the idea I chose to be a lesbian

submitted by yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" from newstatesman.com

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[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Imagine approaching the concept of sexual orientation strictly from a sociopolitical standpoint: political lesbianism. I think Kathleen Stock is perhaps guilty of this as well (whether that reflects on her personally or not,) in her recent Quilette article peddling her book Material Girls, that I have not read. There was a thread here recently about that, she's part of LGB Alliance leadership and often writes for Lesbian and Gay News. Bindel is also a prominent figure.

I'm actually a little bit perturbed.

Look, I don't care who you partner with, by choice or by reasons of physiological compulsion. But if you're a woman who does not have exclusive non-volitional sexual and romantic interest in women, don't dare conflate the two.

We have given up our choice for a medical diagnosis with no scientific basis.

Wow, Queer Theory much? sExUaL oRiEnTaTiOn Is A sOcIaL cOnStRuCt!

Jesus. It's not magic. It's entirely deterministic, even though we may not fully understand the mechanisms. Similar in the way to that we can make bets on the concept of gravity, sending probes to other planets and what-not, even if we don't fully know why it works the way that it does. We can measure it, we can bet on it, it's a real thing. I can choose to let loose a hammer over my foot, but I can't will its fall.

“…for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”

I unapologetically will.

You know what this all reminds me of? Autogynephiles. They really, really do want to wear "woman" as a meat suit. But they can't, and they know that. They also know deep down, that they're not "trapped in a man's body." There's this idea that's so pleasing to them, yet unobtainable save for poor fascimie. These are the folk that are the radicals of the transgender movement, these are the ones that have inserted themselves into many of the activists organizations, these are the....

It's that cognitive dissonance between not being the thing and desperately wanting to be the thing that causes the activism.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ew "it's a choice...". I don't care if a woman has sex and dates other women only because she hates men, that's a heterosexual problem not mine. But when she turns her rejection of men into lesbianism that's when I have a problem. I'm not a lesbian because I hate men, I have plenty of male friends and family I love and respect, I'm a lesbian because I love and am attracted to women, only.

I don't understand why these women don't just call themselves"politically celibate" that actually gets the point across that they are refusing to partner with men because of their feminist beliefs AND can actually be tools in the fight for feminism, if they are used to highlight a problem and power imbalance in heterosexual relationships. Political lesbianism just waters down their point and hurts lesbians by pushing that "gay is a choice" bullshit.

If gay were a choice, I wouldn't be here cus I never would've had to accept my homosexuality, I simply would've chosen to date men, but as a lesbian--that's not an option for me unless I want to live a miserable life and dig myself an early grave.

[–]MyLongestJourney 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Ew "it's a choice...". I don't care if a woman has sex and dates other women only because she hates men, that's a heterosexual problem not mine. But when she turns her rejection of men into lesbianism that's when I have a problem. I'm not a lesbian because I hate men, I have plenty of male friends and family I love and respect, I'm a lesbian because I love and am attracted to women, only.

Hear,hear!