Homophobia...people are claiming that their prejudices are an innate part of their sexuality...

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[–][deleted]  (8 children)

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    [–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

    Sharing my sexual orientation with my partner is important to me personally, it has meaning, my experiences as a gay man are different to a bisexual man, I will not feel guilt about wanting that shared understanding from the man I am married to.

    Yep! I've theorized that this is what's behind many gay (as well as straight, I suppose) people's aversion to dating bisexuals, rather than any kind of bigotry... the sense that, without a shared sexual orientation, you just don't have enough in common. So you can't connect at the necessary level. Which is something that bisexuals (well, anybody with a modicum of empathy and emotional maturity, really) should be able to understand. (I myself am primarily-- though not exclusively-- attracted to other bisexuals, and this may be one reason why: the feeling that they're fundamentally sympatico, at least as far as our basic sexuality goes.)

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      [–]PatsyStoneMaverique 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

      I think the lack of bisexual spaces is reflective of:

      1. A lack of resources. We're broke. I've seen studies repeatedly that find that bisexuals (especially women) have the lowest lifetime earnings of the LGB.

      2. No historical demand. From what I can tell the desire to systematically separate exclusive homosexual attraction from periodic homosexual attraction has not existed prior to the last half-century.

      I'm sure someone will jump in to correct me, but that's definitely the impression I get.

      [–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

      I would like to have a much better understanding of bisexuality, it is rarely discussed.

      You don't know how much it means to hear this! Particularly from a gay person-- much as I'd like heterosexuals to say the same thing, I expect them to be uninformed about SSA people, bisexuals included; but when the LG make no effort to understand us... THAT really stings.

      Yes, bisexuality is rarely discussed; in a way, that's the crux of the problem, I think-- it's what "biphobia" comes down to: invisibility, erasure... being seen as somehow not real, to the extent that we're even seen at all. Which is quite different than homophobia, and thus probably tends to fly under gay people's radar.

      What do you feel would help you better understand bisexuality? Are there any questions that you have? Things that you think could be done to inform, and facilitate conversations about it?

      The issue to my mind is that bisexual spaces have not been created, they overlap into the huge heterosexual world, and the tiny gay world.

      True; we've never had much stuff of our own. While there are various reasons for this, I think the main one is that, what with bisexuality not being considered a thing in its own right, we're expected to file ourselves under "gay" or "straight" depending on circumstances; so bi people get used to thinking of ourselves this way... it doesn't occur to us to create places where we'd really belong. Because... belonging? What's THAT? Being provisional members of others' worlds is second nature to us. Would be nice if we could find a way to start thinking outside that box.