LifestyleEasier time making friends than keeping them...

submitted by PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

  1. Honestly no. I've always been introverted and pretty shy and it was always hard for me to make friends but even worse, keeping them due to me not being able to handle being in groups of people. I noticed that whenever I did make a friend and they introduced me into a group, I never fared well and the initial friend I have stops interacting with me as much as they find they have more in common with their already established friend(s). So no, it's always been tough for me making friends.

  2. I really only have a very small handful and they're online. I don't have IRL friends who I visit on the regular and hang out with and it's been that way ever since I was a junior in high school (I'm 30 now). I actually lost a lot of my other online friends when I came out in support of JK Rowling and came out as Gender Critical admitting that I don't believe in Transgender ideology and that men can't become women or vice versa.

  3. None right now if we're talking IRL. Online, I have only 3 friends I associate with and it's mostly through hobby.

  4. I mainly just look for having things in common, fairly positive attitude (they don't have to be happy all the time but what I mean is jut trying to see the bright side of things and not dwell too much on the negative), and patience.

  5. It's been so long but really, I just agree to disagree if we can't come eye to eye on a subject matter.

  6. I remember there was a girl who used to bully men when I was in 5th grade who I ended up becoming friends with for awhile in my 8th grade year lol.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hi Kai! :)

Yeah...Groups are too much sometimes. I always end up in "trio groups" somehow. The pro to it is that I wont have complete focus or attention on me(i hate getting any attention...) but the bad thing is I usually end up as the 'designated leader', aka "What fun activities are you going to plan for us today Peach?". .___. The only 'good' thing I can say about a big groups(5+ peeps) is that I get to melt in the background, but there's a lot of cons too lol.

I noticed that whenever I did make a friend and they introduced me into a group, I never fared well and the initial friend I have stops interacting with me as much as they find they have more in common with their already established friend(s).

If you don't mind me asking, does it usually occur due to not having similar interests or perhaps they didn't get to know you well?

I ask because...

I make friendly chat with people, then they want to be "besties" and it doesn't end to well for our friendship due to 1) getting overwhelmed by the sudden transition from acquaintances to friends and shutting down 2) They don't know me well...And usually we have only ONE mutual interest but nothing else in common or nothing else interesting to talk about except for one subject... and 3)...I don't want the same type of friendship that they want. I want someone who can fair well with being alone and not fill in the silence with idle chatter and expecting me to answer to everything they say and having to be around each other 24/7(i had clingy friends in the past...)

I actually lost a lot of my other online friends when I came out in support of JK Rowling and came out as Gender Critical admitting that I don't believe in Transgender ideology and that men can't become women or vice versa.

Dang, I'm sorry to hear about that! :-( I mentioned in another comment that I had a friend, I'll call him vaquero, he was my trans male cousin's friend, but we hit it off as friends too. Vaquero's right-leaning, I'm unaligned/moderate(used to be left-leaning and shook out of that completely), even when we had disagreements, he was very respectful and shared his views in eloquent and polite ways. We were both actually in agree about being against my cousin transitioning and spoke in private...We were both concerned for him and the sudden change---it seems like he is getting abused by his parents who treat him like shit was our conclusion---my uncle and aunt are despicable to be honest...

Then in the flip side i became aquainted with stalky pansexual (former) coworker who gets ANGRY if you disagree with her woke™ views and treats you like an idiot. It was tiring. I cut her off after, and she still texted me to berate me months after. According to G (former) coworker, she's off her meds and ended up quitting the job so she'd unemployed now. So...yep...

None right now if we're talking IRL. Online, I have only 3 friends I associate with and it's mostly through hobby.

Same boat, no IRL friends unless my brothers count?? But they don't really stay in contact, i have to make the effort all the time, idk if I wanna keep making the effort... As for online friends...I think I have mostly in acquaintance level close to friend level?? I like them and would consider as friend, but don't know how they feel about me, so I'd say acquaintances for now haha.

I mainly just look for having things in common, fairly positive attitude (they don't have to be happy all the time but what I mean is jut trying to see the bright side of things and not dwell too much on the negative), and patience.

Those are good traits to have for sure! I like friends that are also productive and inspired, because it motivates me.