Men's IssuesDo gay/ bi men ever question whether their gay love interests are actually gay?

submitted by lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian from (self.LGBDropTheT)

As a lesbian, I've almost always been hesitant if a woman says she a lesbian or bisexual, mostly because most of the people I've met who are overly enthusiastic about their woman-loving sexuality (lesbian/bisexual) have often only ever dated men, or have never gone on dates or had relationships with women. It doesn't help that political lesbians are a thing (although I've never heard of political gays).

Is this the case with gay and bisexual men? Do you guys second guess whether guys flirting with you actually are gay/bi?

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[–]reluctant_commenter 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I've almost always been hesitant if a woman says she a lesbian or bisexual, mostly because most of the people I've met who are overly enthusiastic about their woman-loving sexuality (lesbian/bisexual) have often only ever dated men, or have never gone on dates or had relationships with women.

Me too, and I'm also curious about your question.

It doesn't help that political lesbians are a thing (although I've never heard of political gays).

Probably because there are radical feminists, but not radical... meninists? Or do MRAs ever try to pretend to be gay in order to better renounce women?

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

mras might just go single for life? men going their own way?

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Straight men wouldn't flirt with other men. Like Treeofthoughts said, The cost is too great. So there is no male equivalent to this. Most guys are afraid of being seen as liking men. If someone acts like they do, then they're not acting. So the answer is I wouldn't second guess it because the possibility is so low.

[–]censorshipment 6 insightful - 7 fun6 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

Gawd, I hope that they are wary of other men... such as men who may want to lure them in to assault/kill them.

https://meanshappy.com/know-your-history-gay-serial-killers/

Convicted in 1993, Colin Ireland – known by the press as The Gay Slayer – was found guilty of the murder of five gay men. [...] Ireland said he was heterosexual – he had been married twice – and that he pretended to be gay only to befriend potential victims. Ireland claimed that his motives were not sexually motivated.

[–]pacsatonifil 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, I don’t. I take the at their word. Adult male sexuality isn’t fluid from what I’ve seen. We like what like and that’s that. Only when I was a teen did I even see some of that and it was mostly men understanding their sexuality either bi or gay. I have always heard stories about lesbians and it seems a lot of you bump into women just wanting to experiment. I’m sorry that happens to you.