Gay Men"I am a woman and don't plan to modify my body in any way, shape or form - do you think gay men won't be interested in me?"

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[–][deleted] 51 insightful - 34 fun51 insightful - 33 fun52 insightful - 34 fun -  (0 children)

I will also second that cis gays can be rly transphobic or fetishizing.

Ah yes, every gay man's fantasy: a straight woman.

[–]ThrowMeAway2879[S] 43 insightful - 4 fun43 insightful - 3 fun44 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

It's probably an almost harmless post in the grand scheme of trans things, but a few things still irk me:

a) The obvious 'please tell me gay guys will be interested anyway'-undertone.

b) Even though I am effectively a straight woman, I will refuse to date any straight man, because that would be 'invalidating'.

c) "But my chest isn't even that big!"

Also obligatory 'gay men are transphobic!'-replies in the thread.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 32 insightful - 20 fun32 insightful - 19 fun33 insightful - 20 fun -  (2 children)

You're right that it's fairly inconsequential but the lack of self-awareness is just baffling. I wouldn't be surprised if this was posted by a literal child with no experience of sex (they even go so far as to say they don't have any 'dating' experience) or no awareness of the importance of sexed bodies.

I'm a 300lb big hairy gay guy. If I rub some oestrogen cream on my balls, will straight guys be into me?

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 13 insightful - 10 fun13 insightful - 9 fun14 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe, if they turn into tiny boobs?

[–]censorshipment 8 insightful - 13 fun8 insightful - 12 fun9 insightful - 13 fun -  (0 children)

Bears Unite. I'm 300lbs hairy lesbian bear with 8 inches (of glass dildo). That cream is magical! 😹

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 18 insightful - 8 fun18 insightful - 7 fun19 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

b) Even though I am effectively a straight woman, I will refuse to date any straight man, because that would be 'invalidating'.

This is just a variation on "I won't date another trans person, because it would trigger my dysphoria." Basically she just doesn't want anyone operating in a verifiable reality to be close to her.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 30 insightful - 28 fun30 insightful - 27 fun31 insightful - 28 fun -  (1 child)

The obvious solution is for her to go fuck herself.

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 12 insightful - 8 fun12 insightful - 7 fun13 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Be my friend. You make me giggle.

[–]ejectbutton 30 insightful - 4 fun30 insightful - 3 fun31 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

I'd say pay attention more to bi/pan men. They seem to have that great combo of being into trans masc individuals while still validating the identity of said people.

This whole focus on validation is so weird and doesn't even make any sense. The entire reason bi/pan men would be into this person and gay men wouldn't is because she's female and they see her that way.

[–]reluctant_commenter 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This whole focus on validation is so weird and doesn't even make any sense. The entire reason bi/pan men would be into this person and gay men wouldn't is because she's female and they see her that way.

Yeah, exactly! But they keep tiptoeing around that, lol. Those bi men can say they'll support her "gender identity" but at the end of the day it's still a woman pretending to be a man who they're attracted to.

[–]Uranian 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The constant need for "validation" just points out how fragile their "identity" is and how even they know it's a house built on sand.

[–]newaccount85 25 insightful - 8 fun25 insightful - 7 fun26 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

it's amazing how when you browse through the comments (i read them all), 2 elements stick out: "To OP, i think gay men are interested in masculine gender presentation so they might not be interested" <-- most common one.

Then there's another commenter who chastises people for being so critical because "people are fluid". She persists insists and demand people listen to her and then she openly admits that even straight men can date gay men. Because she's a gay man and her husband is proudly 100% straight and even HE would date a gay man so you never know with gay men. Someone ended up hinting that maybe her husband doesnt see her as a gay man but just a regular ordinary woman and she went on a rampage against them and called them vile.

Jesus fucking christ, people. These are our civil rights on the line. To her, this is just some narcissistic psychotic joke. She openly admits her husband is straight but he made a special exception for her and that gender is fluid and we're supposed to let these sasquatches into our communities and let them set fire to whatever fragile gay/lesbian institutions we have. Get fucked.

[–]JulienMayfair 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Maybe this person is just extremely neurotic and has painted herself into a corner by "affirming" all these impulses she has instead of interrogating them and trying to figure out why she's so uncomfortable with herself.

Some people simply have very limited dating options, and that will define their lives. It's sad, but true. Who would want to be responsible for all the normal relationship pressures in addition to the idea that you always have to tip-toe around your partner's obsession with gender identity?

They remind me of patients I've seen on that TV show Botched where plastic surgeons have to correct previous plastic surgeries gone wrong -- or where they've spent untold thousands of dollars on surgery after surgery to try to make themselves feel better. Past a certain point, it is an unhealthy obsession.

Perhaps "Gender Obsession" should be a mental illness.

Weren't we trying to help young women feel good about their bodies just a few years ago?

[–]reluctant_commenter 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Perhaps "Gender Obsession" should be a mental illness.

In some cases, it is indeed a symptom of something else going on, such as undiagnosed OCD.

[–]milknciggiesLGBToxic 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Perhaps "Gender Obsession" should be a mental illness.

You're onto something

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

she seems to be upset she was born with a small clitoris

[–]censorshipment 5 insightful - 9 fun5 insightful - 8 fun6 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

Good catch and relatable. When I saw a big clit for the first time, I was envious. I believe it was that dead wrestler Chyna's clit... saw her sextape 1 Night In China and was like "wow, I want a clit that hangs!"

[–]censorshipment 22 insightful - 10 fun22 insightful - 9 fun23 insightful - 10 fun -  (2 children)

Why doesn't she date any man who may find her weird ass attractive?

During my confused teen years, I dated white girls who didn't care about how I identified. Black girls didn't like my weird ass, so I dated girls who liked me. Until I became less weird in college and dated black girls.

Overthinking about who you should date is why so much of the under 30 population are sexually inexperienced. If a guy thinks she's a straight woman, so fucking be it. Get that dick, bish! (🤢 can't believe I'm typing that lol)

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 20 insightful - 9 fun20 insightful - 8 fun21 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

She couldn't possibly do that. It would invalidate her precious and fragile identity.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

She couldn't possibly do that. It would invalidate her precious and fragile identity.

Hey, what's more invalidating than someone being attracted to you for who you really are???

[–]QueenOfTheNorthSuperLesbian 22 insightful - 7 fun22 insightful - 6 fun23 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Wow this is so disgusting. Why do I feel like this entire comment section smells mildly of sour milk?

It's hilarious to me how divorced they think attraction is from physical biology. Two men fucking is gay in one instance, one of them says they're a woman and it's suddenly straight sex, they both say they're women and that very same fucking has turned into lesbian sex through sheer semantics and voodoo with just a few words. Crazy.

[–]censorshipment 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

These morons believe gender and sexuality are fluid. It's basically split personalities, which I can personally relate to... I have a straight male alter ego, but I don't pretend to be a dude. I know it's just a figment of my imagination.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 22 insightful - 5 fun22 insightful - 4 fun23 insightful - 5 fun -  (5 children)

What does "transmasc" or "transfem" even mean??

"Genderqueer transmasc" is supposed to mean what??

Can someone help decipher clown-speak 🤡 for me please?

Also, what the hell is a non-binary transgender person mean?? I've heard of it before but don't understand it...Does it mean they transition to appear as opposite sex but are...gender...nonconforming in their eyes? (Aka, a man who gets boob and neo-vagina surgery, but dresses like a...man??? Or is a just a NotLikeOtherBoys™ type of person?)

[–]QueenOfTheNorthSuperLesbian 26 insightful - 6 fun26 insightful - 5 fun27 insightful - 6 fun -  (4 children)

They are absolutely NotLikeTheOtherBarbieAndKenDolls™

Anyone who isn't a pink loving girly girl or a truck obsessed beer drinking manly man isn't purely feminine or purely masculine, therefore in their eyes they're gender non-conforming so that means they must be under the trans umbrella! These people pull up their handy guides of what is feminine and masculine and make a Venn diagram of their vapid personalities, sorting everything into categories. If things end up majority feminine and they're male then they're transfem, if it's majority masculine and they're female they're transmasc. It's literally that fucking sexist.

99.999% of the time these nonbinary genderqueer folk don't get any kind of surgery because they just want to be seen as special and trendy, they don't have actual gender dysphoria which might drive them to do that or even a fetish. They just put their pronouns in their bio and demand to be catered to.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

So...these clowns just base it off of personality traits? So if I understood right, this girl says she has a "boyish" personality but still dresses like a...girl so that makes her a gEnDeRqUeEr transmasc?

I'm sad that transmasc/transfemme is even a thing...it's just so pointless. Basically a clown womanchild or clown manchild is all it means.

I wish they would leave the LGB already and stop making us look bad.

Isn't Ell Page a "non-binary transgender" too or something like that or just trans??? I'm surprised she got the double-mastectomy...that made me disappointed. Some people don't have a choice and HAVE to get mastectomy due to cancer or other illnesses...

Yeah, I haven't seen or heard of any other non-binary people get surgery. For them really, all they're trying to do is dress androgynous. Honestly, non-binary people are the "woke" version of gender nonconforming people. The only difference is that GNC people like me aren't trying hard for woke points or trying hard in general to appear how we do. We just are who we are. I miss old school GNC like David Bowie, Prince, and Boy George (except he ended up being a creep...)

[–]milknciggiesLGBToxic 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I haven't seen or heard of any other non-binary people get surgery.

I have seen non-binary women have top surgery. I have not seen non-binary men have any type of surgery.

[–]usehername 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There is non-binary genital surgery. If you have a strong stomach: https://www.alignsurgical.com/gallery/gender-expansive-bottom-surgery/

[–]usehername 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There is non-binary genital surgery. If you have a strong stomach: https://www.alignsurgical.com/gallery/gender-expansive-bottom-surgery/

[–]SickOfThisShit 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

At least looking through the comments most people are telling her gay guys won't be interested or she should look for bi/pan guys. The only comment I saw that said gay guys can be transphobic had a downvote.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 15 insightful - 5 fun15 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

well tbf they wouldn't be interested in you if you DID modify it, either.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 12 insightful - 8 fun12 insightful - 7 fun13 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Obviously, I’m AFAB

That was in no way obvious after reading the string of ambiguous identity labels lol...

[–]lazy-summer-godSuper Gay 14 insightful - 4 fun14 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I actually feel bad for bisexual guys more, after reading that. No one even considers that they could be not interested, it's just assumed by everyone that they're a yes.

Have you considered dating other trans people? You'd be more likely to have a happy and fulfilling relationship that way anyways, speaking from personal experience

It's telling how OP chose not to respond to that.

[–]justagaydude123 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I'm really worried that he's going to lose sexual attraction to me when he sees the pretty obvious testosterone changes from the last year apart 

That poor dude is in for a surprise.

[–]MagnoliaxMirageSuperfemme 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Dude this is my biggest pet peeve. When they say they're gay and trans.

[–]milknciggiesLGBToxic 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t ever see myself medically transitioning beyond localized hormone therapy via a compounded t cream applied to my clitoris

😬😬😬

[–]dreamgermsbisexual nightmare 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Holy shit that was a lot of a words to essentially say nothing. She knows that she’s a heterosexual and bisexual men are her only “option” for dating, yet is still insistent on getting “advice” on how to get gay men to date her. I guess dating bisexuals just isn’t “gay enough” or validating enough for her. And of course, the rest of these gender idolizers flock to the comments to repeat their mantras about gay cis people being transphobic bullies and eternal affirmation of this girl’s delusions. I see more and more of these trans people who don’t make even the vaguest attempt to look like the opposite sex, yet they expect or demand that homosexuals find them attractive, have sex with them, and treat them as “one of them”. It’s like this obsessive fantasy of being a homosexual member of the opposite sex is so overpowering that it not only dominates their lives, but demands that the rest of society engages in the fantasy as well. It’s absurdly entitled and delusional.

[–]Uranian 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Short answer: No Long answer: Noooooooooooo!

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

22 with no dating experience obsessing over labels and getting advice on the internet to avoid any and all rejection irl when (if) she finally decides to put herself out there

I don't think these types are the ones to be pushy irl. I guess it's good she's asking first

[–]sadbihours 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had to stop reading when I saw the part about the clit cream. Wtf is going on anymore

[–]antares 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

One of these days, I'll read a story of a gay-identified straight man coming out as straight to his transmasculine nb AFABfriend.