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[–]hellonumpty 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've been going through something similar recently with a friend. He was once a proud gay man and now she is a ~pansexual~ trans woman and it genuinely feels like I've lost my friend. It's hard to explain but it's like the core of who he once was is no longer there for the most part. This person that I've known for 10 years is suddenly an entirely different person. Yet sometimes I still see glimpses of that person he used to be? I don't know if that makes any sense but it's so wild. So jarring.

I think you just need to do what you're comfortable with. It's really hard to try to reconcile your own views on trans activism and also have someone in your life who is deep in it. You know how most of these people feel if you misgender them or don't get their pronouns correct, so if you're not willing to call her 'they' and she perceives that as a slight, your friendship will probably be damaged anyway. If you want to keep your friendship, you'll probably just have to bite your tongue and accept that she's a 'they' now.