all 16 comments

[–]dreamgermsbisexual nightmare 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It’s all just repackaged misogyny and homophobia. The way they love to throw around words like f*g proves it, the way they rage against “cis gays” proves it, the way they constantly bully homosexuals to change their “preferences” proves it; and transitioning is frequently being used as conversion therapy on top of all that. What you’re describing is exactly what really makes me worry for young LGB people. Not only do they have to deal with homophobia from the right, but homophobia from the left and from people who are supposedly in their own communities! I can’t imagine the pressure and isolation that breeds. I think about how hard generations of gay and bisexual men and women have worked, and how all of that work is being assaulted, constantly, from all directions. It’s maddening. Young lesbians have it especially hard, with the disgusting amounts of misogyny that the TQ+ espouses. They are just as regressive as the conservative and religious zealots that they claim to hate. So much of trans ideology seems like a cult to me as well. Their tactics, their grooming, their rejection of science and reality, etc.

I just wanted to tell you too that I’m very sorry you have faced so much hate, and haven’t had the love and support you deserve. I really hope you can come to a point where you feel accepted not just from those around and from society, but within yourself as well. Sometimes it can be a long road to reach that point, especially the way society is now, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I’m sending love your way. Thanks for sharing this rant!

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you for your kind words and support <3 I really, really appreciate it. It made me smile to read. I don't have anyone IRL who I can talk to about this experience, so it's nice to be able to talk about it here.

I can’t imagine the pressure and isolation that breeds

It absolutely does breed pressure and isolation, and I appreciate you observing this because it really is accurate of my current position and feelings about conservative vs. liberal homophobia. Can't talk to the "LGBTQ+" people I know about transgender homophobia because it'll piss them off and they'll deny it exists (I've seen people do this in real life) and then I have a target on my back for being "transphobic". Can't talk to them about religious homophobia because they think it's no big deal and/or have no idea of anything about it. Most straight people have no idea about either so at best, they're sympathetic but can't help me, but in many cases are homophobic one way or the other, themselves. edit: And many straight people don't want to get in trouble for "wrongthink", either.

Anyway. Thanks :) hope you're having a wonderful day.

[–]dreamgermsbisexual nightmare 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear that! If you’d ever like someone to chat with or vent to about stuff like that, you can always message me too. Not to sound like a weirdo :) It just makes me so mad to know other gay and bisexual people haven’t gotten the support and love and acceptance that they all deserve. Being gay is totally normal. Simple as that. It is not some nebulous abstraction, something that you “feel” or “identify as”; it is a material reality of our existence. There is no incoherent ideology or corruption of our souls or defect in our being. Homosexuality is same-sex attraction and is observable through our history in both humans and other animals. You (and every other gay and bisexual person) should never have to feel bad for being gay or bi. You deserve to be loved and supported, you deserve your safe spaces, you deserve to live and love how you choose, and you deserve to feel safe and comfortable to be who you are. We all do! Don’t let anyone let you think otherwise. It’s sad that people are afraid to speak up and speak their minds, and that they can’t express their concerns and opinions and criticisms without being threatened and demeaned and bullied and silenced. Those people are the ones on the wrong side of history. We have fought this fight before and we sure as hell can do it again! Things seem bleak now but don’t let it make you hopeless. You’re stronger than you think, I promise. <3

Sorry this was kind of long and rambling, I probably shouldn’t smoke a blunt before I get on here! LOL

[–]Hotguava 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

My lesbian coworker recently switched shifts with me because a chef wont stop bringing up his dick to her and thats when it really clicked for me. Its really the same gross "you haven't found the right dick yet why don't you try mine" shit that lesbians have already been dealing with but now its acceptable. In fact not liking dick is transphobic.

They are literally trying to erase homosexuality. They are changing the meanings of the word lesbian. Only a female homosexual can be a lesbian. They are trying to tell people lesbians like dick.

 A trans lesbian is a heterosexual cancer on lesbians but people defend it. "Steven the Lesbian" was funny but seeing that shit actually play out in real life and realizing that its considered progressive if you put on a wig made me so mad. 

My coworkers from terf island so i hope she is one (idk how you can not be a terf at this point as a genuine lesbian) bc im tired of these people being blindly defended why stomping on the rights of and insulting other marginalized groups under the guise of oppression as literal straight white males. 🙄

Sorry if this was really off topic

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No that's completely on topic. Thanks for sharing your perspective, I'm sorry that's happening to your coworker. It is the same shit. Maybe it's too much but there are homophobic memes shared on r/actuallesbians that say just that: "You haven't found the right dick yet."

edit:

"You haven't found the right dick" - a transwoman

"You haven't found the right dick" - a transwoman

I wonder if a subsaidit called TRAorEvangelical or something would be a decent idea...

[–]Hotguava 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  It really is. Im bisexual and seeing that just sets off alarm bells in my head as a woman in general. We just are basically got our rights to be independent and now we have to let bio males in our spaces to validate them or get them off. We have to let them shower with us and medically examine us. We have to let them be our rape counselors. The fact that this is even considered says it all. The fact that I have to be a terf to know about this and be concerned about it says it all. 

 The fact that the lesbians were the first group they came for and still the ones that get the most hate is so telling to me. Theres something really off about that.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It's the same thing. You either sleep with people of the opposite sex or you are evil and sinful. Transgenderism seems to be a religion of it's own anyway since it's not grounded in fact and just a series of beliefs that make no sense.

There's no functional difference between a straight man telling a lesbian to suck his dick and a straight man in a dress telling a lesbian to suck his dick. It's the same shit. One just gets a free pass on it in today's world because he believes in magical fairy tales and thinks woman is a magic word he can slap on himself and every lesbian will love him.

[–]Hotguava 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The fact that they attack lesbians, womans spaces, and their go to slur being terf says a lot. These people have some twisted hate fuck thing going on and it sets off alarm bell in my head. Were supposed to pretend that these type of people dont exist and this never happens bc a straight white male ids into transbian and is suddenly the pinnacle of opression aka not safe until they can shower and sleep with bio women especially in prison/shelters where they have no choice.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They even physically attack women too and we're supposed to feel safe inviting these men into our spaces? Fuck no.

[–]SuperGayIsOkay 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Transgender activism is largely indistinguishable from religious cult-like behavior. They use the same methods to shame and coerce people into going along with them, including ostracizing those who speak out. The main difference between them is that trans activism, unlike religious cults, is widely embraced by people on the liberal end of the spectrum, because they're told that's what's good and right.

[–]censorshipment 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (5 children)

Could religious homophobia + transgender homophobia be an aggressive form of what used to be casual liberal homophobia? Meaning religious straight liberals became TRAs?

Religious Democrats, or the religious left, used to be casually homophobic and are now aggressively homophobic with their trans rights bullshit.

https://www.advocate.com/politics/commentary/2008/04/08/liberals-and-their-invisible-homophobia

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

That's a great article, thank you for sharing. I do not believe for a second that most people who said this homophobic trash in 2008 magically changed their views in the previous 13 years.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

This quote is interesting:

Yet Democrats in particular and liberals more broadly always get a pass. Indeed, at the time of Stark’s outburst, the Human Rights Campaign defended the congressman by emphasizing that he "is one of the gay community's staunchest allies.”

The HRC has been covering up and excused homophobia for longer than I realized. It would be interesting to look deeper into their history.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Sounds like a great topic for a longer post :) maybe if I get a chance in the upcoming few weeks I'll read up on it.

I keep having to remind myself, "These are lobbying groups." They are not charities, they are not at all required to actually acknowledge science or scientific best practices, and they certainly are not representative of us... no more than the NRA represents all gun owners.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Lobbying groups is accurate and I never thought of using that phrase before in this context. I always called them “former gay rights orgs.” But lobbying is exactly right and it gets extremely gross because they so deeply enmesh themselves into the social experience of being a gay professional.

For example, they have fancy galas where we are the targets. They wine and dine us, try to make it so they’re synonymous with the fun, social parts of being gay. And then they have all kinds of indoctrination sessions where they peddle lies under the guise of education. But I stand out if I say “fuck no.”

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I think that's what they are. Glad you think so too. They certainly aren't charity-focused, I don't even know if they do any charity work apart from maybe an occasional fundraiser just for optics.

For example, they have fancy galas where we are the targets. They wine and dine us, try to make it so they’re synonymous with the fun, social parts of being gay. And then they have all kinds of indoctrination sessions where they peddle lies under the guise of education. But I stand out if I say “fuck no."

Ugh, that sounds so gross. Sorry you have to hear that bullshit at work. I sometimes do too, although more in passing comments from TRA coworkers as opposed to actual work functions I am required to attend.