I think your suspicion has a lot of merit. For the same reason that trans take over and moderate all online communities. Their "LGBT" identity exists almost entirely or entirely online, and it becomes a hobby for them. A second life. Almost like playing the SIMS or something like that. It's the exact opposite of a "lived experience." It has been a long time since I've visited r/LBL and I think I will continue to stay away for a while for my mental health, but I have had the impression there that for a non-negligible amount of those women, their lesbian self-identification is like an online hobby, which is why their words don't match their actions. I remember I was called "privileged" for leaving a very good life, my husband, moving out, separating our assets, losing my (his) family, and living openly as a lesbian. In what way is that privileged? They're the ones getting all the perks of the white picket fence life, not being discriminated against or harassed, often with biological children, etc. As if I don't understand how difficult it is to come out late in life. I know how difficult it is. I did it. But they deemed it easy for me and difficult for them. They doth protest too much. Yea, it might be a protracted and difficult process, but when you don't really even seem to want to leave but make a hobby out of complaining about your situation, I start to not trust you.