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[–]julesburm1891 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Start carrying mace if that’s legal in the UK. I had a guy (minus the trans issue) do the exact same thing to me once and, I promise you, the crazy can ramp up really fast.

As much as you don’t want to do it, you need to talk to someone at your school about your concerns. You need this at the very least to build a record of his behavior. Once you have the record established and he keeps doing this, the school has better grounds to discipline and/or expel him. He’s not going to stop after you go to the school. He might even ramp up the pursuit. But, not stopping is what will get his ass handed to him. Remember he’s also not going to stop if you don’t do anything. AND he’s probably going to do this to other women if no one stops him.

I wouldn’t bring the trans thing into it at all. Play pretend that he’s a woman in any conversation you have with anyone from your school. Just reiterate that you’ve firmly told him no several times, he won’t relent, and it’s making you very uncomfortable. If, god forbid, someone asks if it’s because he’s trans say no, that you just don’t like him, and you find his reaction to facing rejection disturbing.

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer[S] 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Mace is illegal, just checked :/

I'm definitely going to tell someone after all these comments... They've made me realise its more serious than I thought. I'm so used to having this sort of thing dismissed, tbh, and told it's not a big deal and I should ignore it. Not relating to a situation like this but relating to creepy men being creepy in general. I've always been encouraged to ignore cat calling, let men down easy, even go on dates just to be nice so I guess because of that socialisation I'm more accepting when I should have probably reported this weeks ago.

[–]julesburm1891 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Look into whatever UK legal self defense options there are and get it.

The guy who did this to me in grad school was a straight guy who was convinced he could turn me. I didn’t want to get anyone from the university involved and it quickly progressed to him stalking me at work, attempting to break into my flat, and renting the flat whose window was directly across from mine.

When I did get the university involved at that point, there were police reports and reports from professors who were concerned. The school said they’d expel him if he came within 300 feet of me on school property. I had to get a restraining order to cover off school times.

But, for reals, don’t fuck around with it. These type of guys are actually fucking crazy and it won’t fizzle out.