LGB Erasurer/egg_irl - "No matter what, if a thought occurs to you that you are trans, and you doubt it, the thought MUST be true." Trans the gay away...

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[–]szalinskikidproblematic androphile 41 insightful - 9 fun41 insightful - 8 fun42 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

One quote from the comments:

"Yeah, sometimes I get really worried this is one of those "vulnerable person joins a cult" stories"

You can't make this shit up.

[–]Rosefield 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Because it IS

[–]Some-unoriginal-guy 25 insightful - 16 fun25 insightful - 15 fun26 insightful - 16 fun -  (1 child)

I would rather gay the trans away instead

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 15 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

So much rather this

[–]julesburm1891 29 insightful - 5 fun29 insightful - 4 fun30 insightful - 5 fun -  (6 children)

Oddly enough, I’ve never had to wonder if I’m faking being a lesbian.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

I have, because I got told that not liking dick means I am bisexual. Lol.

To be serious for a moment though. I think that many of these teenagers (for egg_irl seems likely to be full of teenagers, from the subreddit stats) are really uncomfortable with the idea of uncertainty. And, for at least some people, their sexual orientation really only becomes obvious/clear once they are past the throes of young adulthood. Add to that the fact that many Gen Z teens seem out of touch with their bodily experiences, and we get a whole mess of people jumping the gun on declaring their sexuality and then being taken advantage of because of their lack of boundaries.

[–]julesburm1891 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

To be fair, I got the privilege of growing up in a saner time than you did. (I’m turning 30 in a few months and I remember you mentioning being in your early 20s once.) Gender woowoo wasn’t a thing when I was a teenager so I never had any confusion about what it meant that I only liked women with vaginas. Actually, having to specify “women with vaginas” or “men with penises” wasn’t a thing that even occurred to me or pretty much anyone else until couple of years ago.

Idk. I know I’m getting older and maybe it’s coloring my perceptions of Gen Z. What I see with a lot of the youths now is that they’re living on social media and live with way more technological convenience than other generations have. It seems like their anxiety is through the roof because they’re so focused on what others are doing and how they measure up to that. It also seems like they have no patience. They expect everything to be instantaneous and without any struggle. I see it often at my work (librarian) where teens will become despondent or just give up if they don’t pick up on something quickly. It seems like gen z is impatient to understand that you probably won’t fully get your sexual orientation at 14 either. They just want an answer now.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

(I’m turning 30 in a few months and I remember you mentioning being in your early 20s once.)

Yup! I'm glad you didn't have to deal with this :) nice to know it doesn't always have to be this way.

It seems like their anxiety is through the roof because they’re so focused on what others are doing and how they measure up to that.

100% agree. Because many Gen Z have a constant audience since they post on social media so often.

It seems like gen z is impatient to understand that you probably won’t fully get your sexual orientation at 14 either. They just want an answer now.

Perhaps it's a negative side effect of the otherwise-positive fact that "You can just Google anything."

You have to learn, as a teenager, that there are some questions you CANNOT find an answer to on Google. I learned this lesson the hard way when I spent years researching abusive behaviors: I asked Google, "Why were my parents abusive?" And eventually, after learning way more than I ever considered about various forms of psychopathology, I realized: "I can't get Google to answer for me why I got STUCK with abusive parents" or "what does it MEAN that I was abused?" You can't Google the answers to those questions, lol. I think it's quite a similar thing with sexual orientation: your sexual orientation is signalled by how you feel in your body and you can't Google that, lol.

[–]julesburm1891 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It wasn’t like this for any LGB people who came before you. We had other bullshit, but not the gaslighting AND hardcore homophobia that you guys do.

I absolutely agree with your assessment that it’s people expecting immediate answers. Younger generations don’t get that there’s not an algorithm for life. You have to do a lot of living and mistake making to figure things out.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Bwahaha. I'm in my early 50s, came out when I was 16.

It goes without saying that WHEN I WAS A BOY, men were men, women were women, gays were gays and straights were straights. We didn't have any any of that transgender transbian nonbinary shit. Now get off my lawn!

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It seems like gen z is impatient to understand that you probably won’t fully get your sexual orientation at 14 either.

Me having realised my sexuality at 14: 👁👄👁

Just kidding haha! I agree with you - I'm aware many people at that age or younger don't know very well their sexual orientation. There are people who do though, but yeah, I believe not the majority

[–]oyasuminasai50 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"But what if my brain's convinced me that I'm trans because I'm so depressed and I just want something solid to blame it on?"

Staggering amount of self-awareness and nuance from one of the least self-aware and nuanced subreddits in existence. And really the basis of why I and all of us are (or should be) skeptical of trans-identification at face value. The consequences of erroneously believing you're trans are typically far more dire than the consequences of erroneously believing you're gay or bisexual.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

edit: archive link: https://archive.is/kuQwf

Couple thoughts about this mess.

  • This is a complete denial that uncertainty exists. Black and white thinking: "If you wonder whether you are trans even ONCE, then you are trans." Likewise: "Cisgender people never doubt or thoughts that they might transgender." 0 thoughts = "cis" and 1+ thoughts = "trans"

  • One of the themes in the comments: "I'm really good at faking, even to the point of convincing myself."

  • Over-exaggerated or extreme thinking: "People who fake things ALWAYS know tha tthey are faking it." Similarly: "People who have [mental illness] [sexual orientation] [etc.] ALWAYS know when they do not have it (or when they do have it)."

You only have to think "I am X" once and then tell yourself, "Oh, but I'm faking being X" for you to become X. It's really easy. For example: "I am a billionaire." Actually, maybe I'm lying to myself by saying that. Surprise! I'm actually a billionaire! Unfortunately, none of these thoughts will make me a billionaire in objective reality. (Nor will similar thoughts change my sex in objective reality; it is impossible to "transition to the opposite sex" anyway, I have better odds of becoming a billionaire.)

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_(psychology)

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep! Exactly.

[–]fuck_reddit 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know a guy from school that tried to convince everyone he had sold a company for $43 million (or thereabout, the number was always moving around). He very clearly hadn't ever owned a million-dollar company. I still to this day can't tell if he believed it or not. People can convince themselves of a ton of things that are flat out false.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There's a difference between 'faking' something, and having it be a real thing.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Very true!!

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

This can apply to mental illness, neurodivergencies, sexuality, gender identity, etc.

What does etc cover? Like, if you think you're the president for the United States and you doubt it, it's nothing to worry about. It's just your brain telling you that you actually are the POTUS.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And I thought the fetishising was the worst part of the subreddit

[–]zerosis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah uh this is not heathy thinking. At all. This is actually dangerous for anyone with any kind of obsessive mental illness to get involved with. How is that sub even still up?

[–]IcomeinpeaceHomosexual Transsexual | Biologically Female | Anti-uwu brigade 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I miss the days when severe sex dysphoria, sexual reassignment surgery, therapy and a legal sex change were requirements to be recognised as a transsexual. Now if you're a chick and you've ever had a Freudian thought of what it might be like to pee standing up you're some flavour of trans. It waters down what being transsexual truly means and makes the people who actually just want to live their lives in private look like jokes

[–]Constantine 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Every word of this is wrong. It's entirely possible to convince yourself something is true that's not. This is basic human psychology. It's also just possible to be wrong. Not everything is "valid," otherwise nothing is.

People who fake things convince themselves of their own lies all the time. It's what makes them such good liars.

Also, these people need to stop lumping ASD and ADD in with their made up shit.