Gay MenSF's The Stud no longer a "gay bar", now a "queer bar"

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[–]supersmokio6420 45 insightful - 5 fun45 insightful - 4 fun46 insightful - 5 fun -  (5 children)

Gay male culture has broadened a lot in the past few years, and not just because “masc 4 masc” energy now looks like internalized homophobia in a more liberated world.

Its homophobic to be too gay now, is it?

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 33 insightful - 2 fun33 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I honestly don't understand why masc4masc and femme4femme are so criticized in our own community... Jesus. Just let us be. In the gay community it seems like gay men tell masc4masc they have internalized homophobia; in the lesbian community we're accused of being "shallow" and being fixated with the "femininity performance", which contributes to the women oppression or whatever the fuck.

People, just be happy and fuck whoever you want and no need to give explanations to anyone. THAT is true liberation. We're clearly not there yet. Everyone has different tastes and preferences.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

100%. Femme4femme gets criticized for being fixated on "feminine performance", and butch/femme relationships also get criticized for "heteronormativity" and "trying to look like straight couples". Myself I am more "futch"/tomboy, and I like women that look like pretty boys. I have been called bisexual by TRAs for only dating other androgynous women. Ffs. Whatever we do we can't win, so just fuck everyone's feelings and be yourself.

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

when I see non-gays say that butch-femme couples are heteronormative, I start to understand better why we are in the gender mess in the first place. I never realized some of these people really cant figure it out, I thought they were faking it.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I never realized some of these people really cant figure it out, I thought they were faking.

Oh no, they're not faking. Some straight men genuinely can't understand why some lesbians like masc/androgynous women, and the reverse for straight women who can't understand why some gay men like feminine/androgynous men. They're confusing gender presentation with biological sex and sexuality.

The way I've explained it to my straight male friends is, no matter how "manly" a woman dresses, or if she has short hair, when the clothes come off she's still entirely female. It's really that simple.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s such an ignorant attitude. I am quite feminine in appearance and never have I ever felt like I was interacting with a man when with a butch woman. Many have more stereotypically feminine’s interests and personalities than me. And I’m attracted to a wide spectrum of women. Because they’re women.