Gay MenSome of you may believe I’m being overdramatic here, but it really sucks having to wake up to everyday and be reminded that my sexuality that I’ve fought to no end to get my family and friends to accept is being actively appropriated by straight women who fetishise gay men.

submitted by Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift. from self.LGBDropTheT

I’m unfortunately not in the mood to make an overly-long post right now, the title basically explains all of my feelings towards this particular issue, but I’ve been put through conversion therapy and have had to endure years of emotional torment because of my sexuality through pretty much my whole life, and it sucks having to remember everyday that mentally ill females who fetishise gay men are doing their damned hardest to worm their opposite-sex attraction into the meaning of ‘homosexual’.

I believe that trans people should still have their own terms to describe their sex-based attraction to others, but they can find their own terms. Gay is taken and I’m sick of these homophobic assholes trying to make it theirs.

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[–]reluctant_commenter 52 insightful - 2 fun52 insightful - 1 fun53 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You are not being overdramatic. I really appreciate posts like this. I have a ton of similar feelings regarding fetishistic men claiming to be lesbians, I just struggle to put it into words because I still have a ton of shame over being lesbian myself.

I'm so sorry you were put through conversion therapy. I hope you are in a much better place now, and I swear-- the lies, threats, and abuse transmen inflict on gay men, and TRAs more broadly on LGB people, will come to light. The truth always wins out in the long run.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 36 insightful - 2 fun36 insightful - 1 fun37 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I agree. I had to take a long break from this sub because it was getting too depressing, and just try to avoid this trans shit the best I can. I still lurk on Reddit, but the trans and woke agendas are severely leaking into subs that have nothing to do with trans. I think this is the post that broke me:

https://www.reddit.com/r/writingcirclejerk/comments/l2ex4z/i_think_we_could_all_use_this_advice/

/r/Writinngcirclejerk is a sub that makes fun of the bad posts on /r/writing. Their usual comment count for an average post is less than 20. And the worst part is, I don't believe the sub was raided to a large degree. Most of the names that commented are ones I recognize. (The comments are supposed to be written in-character as a bad writer, and if you want to write as yourself, you use the (uj) unjerk tags, but in this post shit hit the fan quickly so the comments are all over the place.)

Here is the removeddit version. but a majority of the removed comments are unreadable. https://www.removeddit.com/r/writingcirclejerk/comments/l2ex4z/i_think_we_could_all_use_this_advice/

When I see this many normies defending trans (and posting contrapoint videos?? for fuck's sake! He is straight up AGP!!!) I feel like we are fucked. The trans are going to take over, America is going to crumble from the inside, a huge backlash is going to take place like a tsunami, and all women and LGB are going to end up losing our rights as a completely new society is formed from the ashes. Remember, women have had "equal rights" for less than a century. It will be so easy to yank it away from our hands again. They are already doing it by inserting dick into all our private spaces.

Anyway, I didn't mean to make it worse. I'm just showing you you aren't alone in your feelings.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Take solace in the fact that a lot of us were there before as the duped normies and we just needed the right information in front of us at the same time. Anyone who actually is willing to have a conversation with me comes around. And even the normies who want to be true believers in trans have a lot of questions they know they’re not getting answers to. They also know they’re not fully sold and just assume everyone else is. The sports issue has the greatest peaking potential.

[–]linda_senora 29 insightful - 2 fun29 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Gosh!

I am sorry you were put through conversion therapy.

Gender ideology has revealed that some straight women (ftm) are just as awful as some straight men (mtf).

[–]hetisachoice 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Privileged people exercise their privilege in all sorts of harmful ways, both covert and overt.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Hear, hear. Yeah, when trans people are forever whining about "chasers", why should they think that gay MEN wanna be fetishized, either? It's insulting and demoralizing. Particularly since the fetishizers are people that you can't be remotely attracted to BY DEFINITION!

I'm sure that this is especially horrible for you, since it no doubt feels like a fucking conversion-therapy flashback. Because that's really what it is. Except now backed by the very individuals and organizations who steadfastly oppose the traditional kind! Truly like something out of a nightmare.

I hope you can at least find some support here, Smolders, and that it helps. Recently, I had a comment on AskGayBros outlining what seems like an effective self-defense argument for you guys-- it's deliberately non-confrontational (so as not to make the shitheads even MORE aggressive), but pretty airtight. May be successful in warding the Gaydens off. Of course I'm sorry that you even have to... but perhaps it's some comfort to know that, with this, you potentially could? And that a non-gay person came up with it cuz she's in your corner? :)

[–]8bitgay 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Yeah, when trans people are forever whining about "chasers", why should they think that gay MEN wanna be fetishized, either? It's insulting and demoralizing.

This is so obvious yet I never realized it. But you're right. We're being fetishized for our ability of validating them.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 19 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

We're being fetishized for our ability of validating them.

So well-put! Yes: that's it exactly. Gay men are being used as props in the service of these fetishists' creepy delusion. That you guys couldn't be less interested in them if you tried is irrelevant. It's all about THEIR precious fee-fees... and, in particular, their demand for a guy who's exclusively male-attracted, so if he fucks 'em if MUST mean they're 100% Real ManTM ! Yeah, no way is it because their harassment and guilt-tripping and hordes of flying-monkey wokesters FORCED him or anything! Who even cares about stuff like being canceled and death threats, right?

I wish there was some way these horrid women could be convinced that, if their rapist ambitions are realized... HE'S NO LONGER GAY. She de-gayed him! Well, what self-respecting Gayden wants that? Defeats the whole purpose! So better leave the gay men alone, then. Wouldn't wanna make their fantasy-fodder go extinct, now would they?

Of course, they should REALLY stop this shit just cuz it's, yanno, evil... but that's probably too much to ask :(

[–]reluctant_commenter 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

It must not be that obvious because your way of putting it helped me realize it! Thank you.

Ugh. Yet another reason why I don't want come out.

[–]8bitgay 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Cheering for you, hope you manage to come out eventually. The LGBT community might be full of TRAs, but there are still plenty of actual LGB people out there. Feel free to send a message if you need someone to talk!

[–]reluctant_commenter 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate it. And I might take you up on that later today if you don't mind.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 15 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Yep they’re not claiming to be attracted to men generally but gay men specifically. It’s the gay aspect they’re fetishizing. Whereas we actually gay and bisexual people are attracted to members of the same sex regardless of their sexual orientation, though obviously we’re not creepy, fetishizing, and entitled enough to pursue heterosexual members of the same sex.

And it’s so backwards because it’s their fetish for gay men that they think is a sign they’re gay men, when gay men don’t work like that at all.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through conversion therapy, and sorry that you are going through a hard time now. It really is stressful in a unique way to see casual homophobia getting re-popularized in a new form, and the worst thing is it's coming from people and organizations that are supposed to represent us! What is going on is temporary, however. I hope this doesn't read as condescending, but maybe you should take a break from the internet for a few days? Sometimes when the stuff I see and read online gets overwhelming I have to just turn it off and put my mind to other things. Maybe that would help you too. Hang in there man, it will all be okay.

[–]marmorsymphata 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not overdramatic. It's a different topic a bit but the effect is similar-- I spend a lot of time in fandom spaces and the willingness of straight women to make fetishes of gay men is spreading like WILDFIRE and they all pretend it's activism. I spend a lot of time fighting it and I'm happy to say a few people have messaged me saying they've finally seen the fetishization for what it is, but it's a drop in the bucket.

It is easily the most vile corner of the internet I've ever seen and it really makes me wonder just what the trans spaces look like in private. It's probably a fujoshi to trans pineline so maybe it is the same. You wouldn't believe-- or perhaps you already know-- all the disgusting erotica there. The pedophilia (often the "older gay man grooms and molests small boy" homophobic trope), incest, bestiality, snuff, everything. There's literally fanfiction about infant incest. (Yeah, I've reported it to the FBI, and yeah, nothing happened.) These people will literally write straight to gay underage corrective rape and then log on twitter and claim their ship needs to be canon for the betterment of gay men everywhere. They literally believe that gay men are born tops and naturally abusive or born bottoms and can't be abused because they love it. They post gifsets of men beating each other bloody on tumblr and cream themselves over it being subby gay true love. Even their less-murderous material portrays gay men in such a way that they truly seem to believe that extreme perversion is endemic to gay men and that gay rights are actually about making perversion okay, and they love to go along with it. These people are so fucking dangerous, there is no way to overreact.

[–]QueenBread 9 insightful - 7 fun9 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 7 fun -  (3 children)

Rejoice: if THIS is the problem you wake up thinking about, then it means you have no problems. You're lucky.

[–]Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift.[S] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I mean, it’s not on my mind constantly. It just kind of annoys me is all lol. People claiming an oppression that they will never understand just bugs me and it’s a bit hard not to think about or get frustrated over when so much of your life has been based around trying to rid yourself of a hard-wired orientation that you would honestly rather not live with.

If there were a button I could press that magically turned me straight, I would press it no questions asked. But I can’t. I am always going to be a male who is attracted to other males. Of course, I’m not speaking for all gay men when I say this, I know a lot of lesbians, bisexual and gay men who are happy with their sexuality, but I am not. I have been put through no end of homophobic bullshit in my life to let mentally ill women fetishise people like me. Not a single fucking gay man wants them and they never will. They can take their homophobia elsewhere, I’m not letting the same homophobic nonsense that my parents said to me years ago be used on other homo and bisexual kids disguised under the mask of ‘trans rights’.

If a person refusing to let regurgitated homophobia stand in today’s world is what the trans community considers a ‘transphobe’, then I’ll happily remain a transphobe for as long as I live, because that definition of transphobe is not a bad thing to be.

Sorry for going off topic a bit, but I don’t care. Just my thoughts.

[–]8bitgay 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I disagree with the previous comment. I can't say if it's the same in other countries, but in mine I feel like we got pockets of acceptance. When you got a social bubble of people that are LGB or allies, it's easy to feel like everything is fine. However, it is very easy to notice that homophobia still exists whenever I get out of these pockets. Sometimes getting outside of these pockets makes me feel offended, sometimes it makes me feel actually threatened. I haven't experienced actual physical violence, but I have experienced random people threatening to assault me just because I didn't look straight enough to them.

And the thing is that even these pockets of acceptance don't accept us well anymore. Now they only accept us as long as they think we'd date trans people, among other homophobic "rules" we have to follow.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Is this a joke...?

[–][deleted]  (33 children)

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    [–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 36 insightful - 1 fun36 insightful - 0 fun37 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

    How was it that, in America, black men won the right to vote before white women, then? (1870 vs 1920: 50 years earlier.)

    This actually sounds a lot like what the trans-privilege brigade is so fond of saying: "Karens" and "TERFs" (both understood to be white women) are pretty much the root of all evil, in their book.

    Maybe they'll succeed in their attacks on us, and you can celebrate together! Have fun with all the (probably 99.9% white) "girldick"!

    [–][deleted]  (17 children)

    [removed]

      [–]NutterButterFlutterStill waving into the void[M] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      We're removing all your comments in this thread, even the ones that were well-sourced, because it's completely off-topic for this post. There's a time and place to discuss racism and power issues, and this isn't it.

      [–]powpowpowpow 31 insightful - 5 fun31 insightful - 4 fun32 insightful - 5 fun -  (7 children)

      1950s: god i wish women would shut up

      Nowadays: god i wish white women would shut up

      ...

      Progress? Lmao

      [–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

      It's just another excuse at sexism. I've been called a "terf bitch white feminist" despite being Asian! These people are incoherent and call people white racists even when they're not white LOL

      [–]censorshipment 3 insightful - 9 fun3 insightful - 8 fun4 insightful - 9 fun -  (5 children)

      What I said doesn't apply to white women suffering from white guilt who prioritize "poc" and the LGB community. Lol

      Nowadays, white libfems are the throne in minorities' asses... white libfems prioritize themselves and men (including "trans women").

      [–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 14 insightful - 6 fun14 insightful - 5 fun15 insightful - 6 fun -  (4 children)

      Nowadays, white libfems are the throne in minorities' asses.

      LOL you sit your ass on a throne, not put the throne in your ass. Are you drunk?

      Also, why are you calling me a white woman suffering white guilt? I'm not white you silly drunk goose!

      [–]censorshipment 3 insightful - 7 fun3 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

      Lol meant THORN. Autocorrect is a mofo. Also, I'm not calling you a white woman... I read your comment, Asian lady.

      Calling out white women is not sexist, imo. Libfems need to be called out. That's what I do.

      [–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      LOL no prob I was very drunk last night.

      [–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

      🤣 Thanks for the laugh, I laughed out loud for like 5 minutes. Living up to that tag!

      [–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      Good! I am glad my goofy drunk antics gave you a laugh!

      [–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

      And what we’re white MEN doing during all this?

      [–]hetisachoice 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

      If life were fair, each other.

      [–]censorshipment 1 insightful - 8 fun1 insightful - 7 fun2 insightful - 8 fun -  (2 children)

      White men were thriving, of course. White women said "hey, we fuck you and take care of your children... give us some rights even if it means throwing minorities under the bus." White men eventually listen to white women... i.e. Joe Biden.

      [–]diapason 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      White men eventually listen to white women… i.e. Joe Biden.

      You think Mr. Joe "transwomen in women's sports and the ladies' room" Biden cares about listening to any group of women? He only cares what his Democrat colleagues say

      [–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      Interesting viewpoint

      [–]Movellon[M] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      I don't like racism.