I think coming out is more about making the decision to not hide the fact that you're not straight. Of course, there's the expectation that unless you are the physical embodiment of a rainbow you'd need to tell people in one way or another as you meet new people, but passively mentioning your partner for the first time in front of someone is different than saying to yourself, "I am no longer going to hide this, I am going to tell ____ about this"

I don't think everyone has a "coming out" moment because to "come out" indicates that you were in something, usually the closet. The only way for you to be in the closet is if you know your sexuality or know you are questioning it and choose to actively hide it. I used to say that since I am fairly straight passing, even though I wasn't hiding anything, I was still in the closet, just with the door open because someone would've had to actively ask questions about me and get the conversation relevant to my sexuality before I'd ever mention it.

I've made one person panic for a moment because they jested, "Shut up, you're gay" after I didn't like their phone UI and I responded, "Ya, so?"

To me, coming out requires a concious choice to stop hiding a fact about yourself and make it known to someone. If you aren't hiding it but people can't tell, that's not really different than if you don't wear a wedding ring and people can't tell if you're married or not at first glance. You aren't hiding it so much as just not showing it off.

And hopefully, coming out will stop being a thing for people. As a minority, we'll always live in a somewhat heteronormative society and so kids will still have some form of realization that they aren't straight, but it'll be more of a "I think I'm gay?" moment at dinner instead of a family meeting to admit something with some level of fear or anxiety