all 26 comments

[–]our_team_is_winning 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That should never be considered an "unpopular opinion." It's reality. There are men and women. Some of each get this idea in their head that they can switch sex, but they can't. At best, such a man can become a man with a shaved jaw, a man with an inverted penis (ouch!), a man in a dress, a man in makeup and heels... Still a man. Or a woman who had her breasts removed, or a woman who takes male hormones, a woman who artificially lowered her voice.... Still a woman.

The language is all wrong, for sure. I almost like that Thai term "ladyboy" because it ends with boy, so it says this is a boy who is role playing as a lady, I guess. (I am no expert on ladyboys!)

Personally (now here comes an unpopular opinion), I don't see what's wrong with the term cross-dressing man or woman. That is what they're doing. They're putting on external trappings that are stereotypically associated with the opposite sex. Then many go to extremes with surgeries and chemicals, but non-trans men do that too -- there's pec implants and steroids; some women have breast implants and other things done.

I would hesitate to say "female-presenting male" because most try and fail even with just the right lighting, etc. Maybe "female-attempting male"?

[–]censorshipment 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Who is "we"? Do you hear people saying cis in real life, in your community? I never have.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hear this shit all the time, but I am (arguably) among the oldest of Gen Z, so your mileage may vary...

[–]WildwoodFlower 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have heard someone say "cishet" to describe straight people. But I figure if straight people don't like it, that's their problem, not mine.

[–]our_team_is_winning 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"cishet"

I always think that sounds like a combo of fishnet and ass-hat. It's also so Nineteen Eighty-Four, with the Ministry of Truth being the MiniTru, English Socialism being IngSoc.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

Cheers to that! I have stopped using the term "cis" when it occurred to me that not being trans is normal. I am a man. That’s it. I have always been male; I’ve been a man since I stopped being a boy when puberty kicked in. I will die male. I’m like 99.99% of the male population. Well, 100% of the male population, but part of the sane 99.99% of males. By the way, your opinion is certainly not unpopular on this sub.

There are no terms for those who were never an astronaut, never a veteran or never a politician.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There are no terms for those who were never an astronaut, never a veteran or never a politician.

Piggybacking off of this... not to derail the thread but I don't understand why the asexual community (read: 99% of which is just self-described "queer" people) have the word "allosexual" and suggest that LGB people have "privilege" over asexual-identified people for having sexual attraction. It's the same thing as trans and cis. Asexuals and non-asexuals.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it’s fine is someone is asexual. But why the need for a community? If somebody pesters an asexual person about relationships, the asexual can just say "hey! mind your own business". I’m not privileged over an asexual person just because I’m attracted to men. Yes, if I find a life partner and we make each other happy, grand, but we’ve worked hard to make it work. Plus, asexuals don’t get heartbroken over breakups, rejections, infidelity, divorce, etc. Do asexuals even get expelled from their parents' homes?

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Top tip I'd recommend for anyone here:

You can demand to not be called "cis" WITHOUT being labeled as "transphobic" (if that's something you care about.) I've basically found a loophole in gender logic that allows people to reject the "cis" label yet still avoid coming under fire.

Instead of saying "Cis is meaningless/Cis is silencing" or whatever, say something along the lines of:

"Please don't call me cis, cis means 'someone who identifies with their assigned gender' and that doesn't describe me."

"I don't identify as cisgender because gender isn't something I personally experience"

"I don't consider myself to have a gender identity, therefore I'm not cisgender"

This has worked for me EVERY SINGLE TIME I've used it in TRA/leftist heavy places. Usually after I say something as vague as "I don't identify with that, please don't call me it", they shut up, because they believe that all "identities" need to be put on pedestals and protected. As long as you don't go into detail about why you reject "cis" they should be fine with it, lol.

You can also use other forms of bullshit, like explaining that you "don't identify with traditional masculinity/femininity, and what society thinks it means to be a man/woman". Or, in my case, I quite often use my intersex status as a pass. They don't give a fuck about my medical condition in terms of it's actual, physical struggles or social/medical rights - but one thing they DO care about is using us to justify concepts like "nonbinary" while they try to paint us as "freaky third sex people." So often, even saying "I'm intersex so I'm not cisgender" is enough for them to not question my "identity."

I don't believe it's a good idea to simply shut up and be quiet, and I think nobody should be ashamed of their beliefs (especially something as basic as "sex exists and you can't change yours") but I know that TRA screeching is often more trouble than it's worth, so, subtle approaches with things like this can also work well. And as a bonus; you may also be able to find like-minded people by looking closely at who does similar things.

I currently am in a TRA social circle (unintentionally, basically it's a group I share something in common with & find useful, it just so happens that most people are a little bonkers in the left direction) and I correct it every time someone calls me "cis", never had a problem so far and I've also seen other people like me, who reject the "cis" label but also don't label themselves trans/nonbinary and just say the kind of things I would ("I don't personally experience gender/etc").

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Instead of saying "Cis is meaningless/Cis is silencing" or whatever, say something along the lines of:

"Please don't call me cis, cis means 'someone who identifies with their assigned gender' and that doesn't describe me."

"I don't identify as cisgender because gender isn't something I personally experience"

"I don't consider myself to have a gender identity, therefore I'm not cisgender"

This has worked for me EVERY SINGLE TIME I've used it in TRA/leftist heavy places. Usually after I say something as vague as "I don't identify with that, please don't call me it", they shut up, because they believe that all "identities" need to be put on pedestals and protected. As long as you don't go into detail about why you reject "cis" they should be fine with it, lol.

Lol, I might give this a try and see how it goes. Sometimes people are remarkably persistent in asking questions; but some might not out of fear they might "out a trans person in the closet."

but one thing they DO care about is using us to justify concepts like "nonbinary" while they try to paint us as "freaky third sex people." So often, even saying "I'm intersex so I'm not cisgender" is enough for them to not question my "identity."

Small silver linings?

And as a bonus; you may also be able to find like-minded people by looking closely at who does similar things.

Ahh, that's a good point. All right, I'll give it a shot.

[–]MatthewofHouseGraySuper straight ally :) 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I never did outside talking about a faction which exists in Star Wars.

[–]NonimeTired of Explaining Reality to Fuckwits (TERF) 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's not unpopular here. I refuse to use the term too. The burden is not on us to redefine ourselves by the outliers who want to mimic another sex.

There are men and women, and there are transgender people who want to be them. They get their own "trans" label, and there's no "not-trans" label for normal people.

[–]our_team_is_winning 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

the outliers who want to mimic another sex.

I like that word choice. Mimic. Fine line between mimicry and mockery too.

[–]SerpensInferna 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I also refuse to use the term, and have told people in real life that use it that I find it offensive. It's only happened once or twice, but I'll say it every time. I refuse to define myself against a bunch of delusional jackasses.

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They get mad when I say "don't call me cis" but when I say transwoman vs their preferred trans woman they read into that too. No, you are something else entirely. Mostly just delusional.

[–]strictly 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes. Cis refers to having a gender identity on the same side of one's sex so I refuse to call myself that as I have no gender identity (when I tell trans people to not call me cis they usually insist anyway or say I'm trans in the closet). I only call other people cis if they themselves insist they have a cisgender gender identity (not up to me to decide if they have a gender identity or not, their mind, their say) but I refuse to call people cis just for not being trans.

Many trans people seem to be hypocrites in this regard, thinking trans people always know their true gender identities but think people who aren't trans can't know if they lack a gender identity.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I like to put it in quotes just as you did, "cis". I often put "transbian" and other words as well. The language is so pervasive that it gets tiring to put quotes on everything all the time, though, so sometimes I forget or am too lazy. I mean, hell, even "transman" and "transwomen" ought to be in quotes, what the hell is a trans-woman? You can't actually transition to a different sex, and "woman" denotes sex-- TRAs trying to define "woman" as something other than "female human" is misleading.

Anyway, yes, I completely agree.

[–]chazzstrong 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I never do.
It's one of those words that, if someone uses it in an un-ironic way, I immediately white-noise their voice.

[–]hyunnahh 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

unpopular opinion : stop typing out "unpopular opinion" stating what the opinion is

[–]pacmanla 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I COMPLETELY agree with this. I haven't used the term "cis" at all & just say biological, but even that gets frustrating when referring to just women & men who are their natal sex.

[–]Seahorse 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't use it for the most part.

I also go out of my way to avoid using pronouns.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A++ popular opinion around here. Totally agree.