LGB Alliance trying to get more men involved

submitted by HelloMomo from self.LGBDropTheT

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]artetolife 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I want to but the last time they were holding actual events they were all up in Scotland (too far for me) or speaking at very women-specific events. You can see some of them on their youtube channel.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It would be nice to hear men's issues too to be honest.

I grew up with brothers and male cousins (I was the only girl amongst the boys), and I noticed that they had some issues too that they struggled with.

My younger brother is straight but gender non-conforming with his fashion choices. Many assume he's gay(and he gets a little upset, but I tell him I get the same shit but in reverse and who cares what they think). He tries to act more manly to make up for it and chases girls all day...

My eldest brother is more reserved and quiet, gets told to be more "loud" and how to "act like a man". My younger brother is "scared" that my eldest brother might be 'gay' because he had a dream about him kissing another man like LOL dude, who cares if he is or isn't?? That's his life.

My second oldest brother "mimicks" the stereotypes od what he thinks a man should be like. He won't hold my mothers purse because that's not "manly". He won't buy baby stuff for my son(deapite him asking what my son needs, I tell him diapers and what size, and he fives me money instead), he claims he sucks at complimenting woman(because he doesn't want to show his emotions). He doesn't know how to handle difficult situations and tries to "joke" his way outta it to escape.

It's the way our parents raised us made us...different. But going back on the men's issues---they get told to "man up" while growing up and "what men should be like", so while we're only like 5-6y.o my dad let us watch rated R films and play rated M games because "we need to grow up" and they boys need to "man up" despite being children...my mom was against it though and babied my brothers to wherw they didn't have to do much, and I was stuck doing house work because no one else wanted to. My parents made them do "man stuff" by mowing the lawn and clearing out the yard when all they wanted to do was play video games lol. My father also REFUSED to change diapers when we were little(according to my mother, but she is not always a reliable narrator, though I don't dount this based on how he is) and said that's what women do.

But anyways...yes..I want to hear about men's issues especially now that I have a son because I don't want to fuck up. If he ends up being bisexual/homosexual/heterosexual, then I am cool with that. I just want to know what I can do differently so he doesn't end in the toxic cycle my brothers were...

I think it would honestly be best if thr little one's dad handled the male role, since, well, he's a man but ehhh my partner and I have much to discuss and he has similar/WORSE baggage than me and my brothers based on how he grew up and thinks he needs to do certain things as a man...But he's slowly changing and opening up his eyes that it's not all like what he thought it was.

Lol damn I am rambling a lot haha. Again, these particular topics I am rather passionate about!

[–]artetolife 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's a tricky one. My family never pushed any kind of gender stuff on us yet my older brother still ended up in that cycle and spent his whole adolescence trying to become cliche macho fictional characters like James Bond and Rambo because he apparently thought that was how men were supposed to be, and that's what women would want... He chilled out after he got married though and doesn't care if people think he does "womanly" things.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, it is tricky. It's crazy how your brother was in that cycle despite your parents not pushing gendered stuff but good that your brother mellowed out after getting married!

My current partner doesn't mind too much either doing "womanly" things. He'll buy me female products, or hold his mom's purse and joke around dancing and "twerking" on me to make me laugh lol. He doesn't care if that makes him seem "feminine". It's just other stuff he gets really weird about such as "men have to take out the trash" and "No men should be a stay at home dad" and I'm like...okay? My dad was a stay-at-home because he retired(he was MUCH older than my mom). Then he told me "that's different though" lol. Taking out the trash isn't a "gendered" think either. He loosened up about the trash thing when I told that's silly and that I had to take out my OWN trash when I was single so it's not a big deal haha.

[–]artetolife 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That mentality can manifest is some very strange ways lol. I've met guys who are perfectly reasonable but they wont push a shopping trolley at the supermarket, dumb things like that.