/r/LGBT debates whether a straight man in a dress is part our "our community".

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[–]reluctant_commenter 41 insightful - 2 fun41 insightful - 1 fun42 insightful - 2 fun -  (11 children)

It frustrates me to see gender-nonconformity so othered by these people. I have a friend who is a straight male and is somewhat gender-nonconforming, and constantly has people telling him he must be gay. He has no attraction to males in the slightest. But these people would insist that he is a part of the "queer" community. These people are trying to make mainstream the belief that straight means normal instead of straight means heterosexual.

[–]NeedMoreCoffee~=[,,_,,]=^_^= 29 insightful - 4 fun29 insightful - 3 fun30 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

This whole gendershit is so regressive it hurts

[–]lulululululu 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Yeah, they did that to my college roommate. Even though she was straight and she had a boyfriend, they kept insisting that she must be "queer" or "genderqueer" or whatever without realizing it yet because of her gender non-conformity, and they kept saying they were just waiting for her to come out. It really, really got to her and messed with her head. And what a surprise, after years of being told she couldn't be a woman because of her gender non-conformity, of being othered as something other than a woman, she finally came out as non-binary. Despite the fact that she was confident in her womanhood before I knew her, and before the "queer activists" got to her, she's a super militant non-binary activist now. Sigh

[–]reluctant_commenter 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

:( I'm really sorry to hear that, that's messed up. Goes to show how damaging peer pressure can be. I hope she is able to find her way out of the gender cult before too long.

[–]lavender_menace 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Can something like that count as harassment? Or bullying? There must be something that can be done against these people.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I think it absolutely is harassment and bullying, but I'm not sure what can be done about it-- and certainly, TRAs do NOT recognize it as harassment or bullying.

I have a similar story. A friend of mine was told multiple times by classmates that she must be a trans guy, because she has hobbies and interests deemed more "masculine" (programming, math, etc.). She ended up resisting them saying that, though, and was never trans, but it's still really messed up.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What they are saying is "you must fit the box, you must be conforming to one of the boxes", they can't accept that someone can just be as they like without changing themselves to fit stereotypes. They are refusing any nonconformity from stereotypical boxes.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lost another one. Rip.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was always gender non conforming and was constantly bullied and harassed for "being gay" because of it. Some people even did it in a less offensive way, like, they just assumed I was gay and would give me odd guilty looks every time the topic of girlfriends came up and stuff like that. It was an unwritten rule among people I knew that I was gay, no matter if I argued against it and usually they didn't even bother to ask me. If I did deny it they would nod and smile condescendingly as if they thought I was just in denial.

So, in around 2018, when I did turn homosexual, I quickly fell into a downwards spiral because I thought that the people harassing me were "right" and that it was caused by me not being "manly enough", and that it was my fault.

So in short, fuck those people. Fuck anyone who equates GNC = gay and that includes some people on this sub who, for some reason, forget straight GNC people exist and preach about GNCness as a "gay culture" thing. That too is part of the problem.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Conservative homophobes attacking him for being gender nonconforming and "looking like gay".

Progressive homophobes attacking him because he is "looking like gay", but not gay.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. Exactly. It's bewildering.

[–]purrvana 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same thing with the Youtuber Karlyn Borysenko (from the walkaway movement). She says she's constantly put into the lgbtq group by others even though she's straight and married to a guy, and it's all because of her gnc haircut.

[–]Lesbianese⚢ 24 insightful - 7 fun24 insightful - 6 fun25 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

You don't get to decide if someone is queer or not.

Then one day we'll all be "queer" and not in the trans-commie-utopia way these types of people talk about, even the ebil straight white men who are LITERALLY killing you by existing will be too if all it takes is a change of clothes.

What will you do then? How will you complain about them if you've killed off one of the words necessary to? Will you start complaining about cis/white queers? Well, how do you know if this individual is cis? You bigot. Now the only descriptor you have left is white and you'll be throwing the majority of your trans comrades under the bus every time you try to complain about the guy who just put on a skirt today. Almost like gatekeeping is required.

[–]artetolife[S] 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Honestly that's what I'm hoping for. Sooner rather than later everyone will be "queer" and they'll be forced to move onto something else to feel special.

[–][deleted] 21 insightful - 7 fun21 insightful - 6 fun22 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

It's official. Thanks to the trans umbrella, straight people who wear pants/dresses are now officially LGBT.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

We're full circle and now it's the left saying you're a "faggot" for dressing sightly unconventionally for your sex.

[–]oyasuminasai50 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Excellent! One more letter to add to the never-ending acronym! LGBTQIAC+!

The sad thing is, a lot of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people have faced rejection in their lives that they think they need to take it so far in the opposite direction that they don't want to reject anybody. A tiny bit of gatekeeping is OKAY. We can still love and respect cross-dressers while at the same time not feeling like they belong in the LGBT community. Being gay is immutable. Your choice of clothes is not.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 13 insightful - 12 fun13 insightful - 11 fun14 insightful - 12 fun -  (4 children)

A tiny bit of gatekeeping is OKAY.

*inhale*

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[–]oyasuminasai50 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Ah, who am I kidding? In 2020, LGBT people banding together under the same banner isn't about political and social survival anymore. It's one step above a book club. Anyone can join, existing to give people a sense of belonging. The "gates open, come on in" attitude of today's "LGBT" community proves that.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's one step above a book club.

But one of those awful book clubs that only read books by queer people of colour. I want to read Thomas Pynchon!

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I wanna read some Dorothy Parker.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Here's a nice quote of hers as an appetizer!:

"Heterosexuality isn't normal, it's just common."

[–]Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift. 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Speaking of debate, I really miss the old r/gcdebatesqt subreddit.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It moved to Saidit, but it is very slow, with only very few TQ+, /s/GCdebatesQT/

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This ties well into one of several reasons I don't care for drag culture. The message says "bee 🐝 urself" and "fuck gender," but the delivery of that message is "feminine men are dirty, underground little secrets and the only safe place for them is here, as a crossdressing Other man / a costume / a character."

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Isn't straight man in dress is already under Stonewall's transgender umbrella nowadays?

[–]Cicerosolo 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lol these people have no idea how coin cross dressing is in males. It's ridiculously common. May as well say everyone is part of the rainbow collation of Amerikano justice