DiscussionShould bisexuality get a distinction and coexist with pansexuality? (as in a image below) or should bisexuality also include men and women who are attracted to transmen/transwomen? pansexuality be reclaimed? What is your opinion about this?

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[–]LasagnaRossa 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I don't think "pansexual" would be a good word for it. It's not really a different sexuality because TW are male and TM are female

I have a different opinion on this matter.

Me and other bisexuals know we can't get attracted to transmen and transwomen and see how different we are from those who can. Having a clear label for this distinction is useful, and there should be for those who are "straight" and "gay" too.

Just because we like both sexes it doesn't mean we like mixed sexual characteristics. If someone is able to do that, they should signal their availability with a different label.

I'm saddened that recently this lack of attraction is seen as transphobic, like if we had any decision in the matter. The two labels had a purpose and were useful, back in the days.

[–]Lesbianese⚢ 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just because we like both sexes it doesn't mean we like mixed sexual characteristics. If someone is able to do that, they should signal their availability with a different label.

That does sound reasonable, even if it makes things less scientifically accurate. My initial instinct was to argue that we don't say bisexuals who have a fetish for people in wheelchairs are a different sexuality but when it comes to this issue, it feels more complicated due to genital modifications. I do worry that by basing a sexuality off of something that isn't sex, we open the door for a lot of tomfoolery. Regardless, I both hear and respect your opinion.

I'm saddened that recently this lack of attraction is seen as transphobic, like if we had any decision in the matter.

It's such a shame. I'm sorry that so much pressure is put on bisexuals to be attracted to modified bodies.

[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The lack of attraction being seen as transphobic is exactly why I feel like having a separate label is pointless, though. At the end of the day they'll always just claim that excluding trans people from your dating pool is transphobic. You're still expected to be sexually available to trans people no matter what you call yourself.

Also, it's kind of like you said, we don't have two separate labels for straight and gay people who are attracted to transgenders. Lesbians who date transmen are just called lesbians. Gay men who date transwomen are just called gay men. Same for straight people. So why do we need two different labels for bisexuals who are into transgenders and not? It just seems silly. I also really don't like having "sexual orientations" that aren't based on sex. That's how we ended up with this mess we're currently in of the TQ+ having a "sexual orientation" for every possible combo of gender expression, sex, and promiscuity level.

[–]LasagnaRossa 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're still expected to be sexually available to trans people no matter what you call yourself.

I think labels should describe behaviours, not the other way around.

Afterall if getting attracted to people with mixed sexual characteristics isn't instinctive to everybody, that must mean something.

I understand your logic and you are kinda right, but my experience tells me something is still off. There are many men who are attracted to women and transwomen but can't get aroused to "complete" men. In the same way there are many men who are attracted to women only, so it's not that obvious to overlook a dick like you would do with a birthmark.

I myself, when I see a trans person I instinctively like one half or the other half but can't like them both at the same time in the same person. It's odd, it's like there's a switch in me: I like chips and chocolate cake but don't like chips in my cake, whereas others can.

And in those days where these thoughts weren't removed, many other bisexuals used to describe the same feelings.