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[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Yeah, I always knew I was attracted to women, but I thought I was bisexual for a long time. I think I'm just a late bloomer in life too.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Same. I feel you. What was it that peaked you in r/LBL?

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

All the women in unhappy / unhealthy relationships running for the hills seemed odd. Also there's just a few too many people on the sub— lesbians who realise they're lesbians later in life would have to be a minority of a minority. Or reading about the women who would enjoy sex with their husband and we SO in love with him, but they're thinking ALL the time about women and having a girlfriend, and how they can now put most of their attraction down to comphet! And then people would tell them that they sound like a lesbian because 'straight women don't think about other women when they're unhappy with their husbands'. Also all the people who opened up their relationships because they needed to explore. I think most people in poly relationships are morons who just need to move on.

The big revelation was women posting on there about how they clicked with the contrapoints video on comphet. I watched the video and I have no idea what the fuck contrapoints is banging on about, I couldn't relate to it less. That made it clear there were people on that sub who were full of shit.

I don't really care what these people do, they're adults so they can make stupid decisions if they want to. But I'm still going to think they're bisexual and need to move on from a relationship they clearly don't want anymore— not a lesbian. Also, comphet isn't the best concept and I think people should stop pushing it like it's the gospel.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I had a similar experience but also noticed there was a lot of “Tik Tok Made Me Gay.” I think if you are a lesbian would have noticed at least to some degree you were attracted to women before your 30s. The women who just suddenly noticed that girls are pretty at 35 after having multiple unsuccessful relationships with men and then jump into adopting lesbian stereotypes and a “lesbian lifestyle” are very disconcerting. Have you listened to the Lesbian Chronicles podcast?

Btw, I can’t find the ContraPoints video and I’m curious. Do you know what it’s called or can you link it?

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's called shame, have fun :) It's pretty much classic AGP. But also, if you were biologically male up until adulthood, how do you experience compulsory heterosexuality and believe that you are attracted to men due to internalised homophobia? These things should be telling you that you should be attracted to women...

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh Jesus. I am hopeful that there are not many comments on that thread because a lot of women were like "uh what the what." The comment from a self-styled late bloomer "trans lesbian" and their profile should peak any sincere lesbian in there. Also, of course playing the victim about how there's not enough active coddling of trans lesbians in there. That person also has posted a decade of his life with copious pics of himself all over reddit so he would make an interesting case study for anyone who is interested in analyzing wtf is happening to society.

And of course his "egg cracking" story is SO relatable! SO female! SO lesbian! Cracked by a male character in a generic super hero movie:

For the past 20 years after puberty, I've been lying to myself. I kept telling myself that I'll accept that my boybody is what I am. That these dysphoric feelings will go away if I learn to live with it. [Doesn't almost every person feel this way about their body?] "Those dreams where I'm a woman is just an over-active imagination", "You're looking at women because you find them beautiful and not thinking about how you wish you could be them". [How in any way is this compulsory heterosexuality if he actively was and still is attracted to women and did and does still find them beautiful? Nowhere do I see any pressure to be attracted to men. What could he possibly relate to in the Master Doc]

I was in denial. [Was?]

But the straw that broke the back was a nerdy dream. After I saw Avengers: Infinity War, I dreamt that Thanos didn't kill half the universe. I dreamt that he changed half the universe's sex. I went to work, and my co-workers were laughing at me. "You missed it! Thanos changed all of us. You're never gonna change! You'll die a man". I started crying in the dream so hard, that I woke myself up.

When I woke up I had tears on my pillow and was emotionally drained. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate seeing an ugly big nose. And the brow. And the facial hair. I thought back to when I was a child, at all those little signals of not being in the right body. [Who feels like they were born in the right body and isn't painfully aware of the ways we don't match up with societal expectations? And how does identifying as a women change those things? Wouldn't being a woman with those things make him feel even worse?] When I was 3, pointing that I wanted to buy the pink and black girl's dress, and crying because I wasn't allowed. When I would wear my grandmother's coat at 5 years old and take a nap in it. [And I was ripping bows out of my hair and wanted to wear big sweatshirts with no pants and be two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the same time. A decade and a half later, I grew up to be a feminine lesbian who went through a phase of being really into big bows on things. To this day, I've never had any particular affinity or aversion to pink. And does he think Lea Delaria, Ellen DeGeneres, and Rosie O'Donnell were begging their moms to put them in pink dresses? Why are we supposed to ascribe meaning to any of this normal childhood behavior? Like Grandma's coat sounds cozy and practical and like there wasn't a warm blanket available. Also, I sincerely doubt he has memories and recalls his feelings in that moment from over 30 years prior when he was only 3 years old.] When I would spend hours picking and pulling the hairs growing on my knee because I thought of them as little worms. [Oh yea, sounds like a typical lesbian concern. Lesbian aversion to body hair is legendary.]

So I went looking for local endocrinologists and found out that this little town finally has someone that treats transgender patients. [We're fucked. Or maybe this is better because people will be peaked all over the place?] I read the news article about him two weeks ago. I've been in a funk since, that last little shred of self-doubt and denial holding onto this identity.

Today, I e-mailed the clinic and told them I want to set up an appointment with the endocrinologist and start HRT on July 2nd. It just so happened that today was the start of Pride Month; I didn't plan on e-mailing them at the start of Pride Month, but now I think of it as a good sign. [Someone is lonely and wants a social group.]

First, I am angry at the doctor and nurse who looked at this guy and encouraged and enabled him to transition. Nothing about this indicates that this guy is or should be a woman. I just don't understand why this guy can't admit that he was unhappy with his appearance and society's expectations for himself, that he wanted to change his appearance to look more female, and wanted to belong to a social group. None of this makes him a woman or a lesbian specifically. What lesbian would relate to any of this as a lesbian-specific or woman-specific concern? And of course, since transitioning, he has changed his style to be peak stereotypical lesbian, calls himself a tomboy, brags about being stealth, and spends his time invading subreddits for women and pretending to speak as one. Like take a hint that places like r/tallwomen are not for you. I hate this world.