Why are TRA's trying to use transwomen/men who pass well as a 'gotcha!' to the whole: "Oh, I'm only attracted to (both) biological males/females." line?

submitted by Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift. from self.LGBDropTheT

Like, yes, obviously, I'd probably be attracted to a transman who passes well with their clothes on... but if they tell me that they are indeed trans (meaning that they either have a vagina or a phalloplasty), that attraction will instantly be lost.

The fact that some trans people pass well does not mean I am going to be attracted to them after learning that they are transgender.

Also, another thing, they also use this argument a lot: "Oh, you're only attracted to biological males? So you're attracted to transwomen, right?" No, I am not. 'Homosexual' literally means that I am exclusively attracted to the same sex as my own and those who are clearly men and aren't trying to present themselves as the stereotypical image of the opposite sex.

I am attracted to all males? No.

Will I be attracted to every male? No.

But I am attracted to males and males alone. Denying that homosexuality is anything but same-sex attraction is so homophobic and it's honestly getting on my nerves. The fact that they think that rewriting homosexuality to include the opposite sex is 'inclusive' is beyond me.

EDIT: Words.

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[–]szalinskikidproblematic androphile 39 insightful - 1 fun39 insightful - 0 fun40 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

For me, finding out that a person I'm sexually attracted to is in fact of the opposite sex (aka trans) would be the same as finding out that the guy I'm dating is a relative. I'd immediately lose all attraction, and on top of that feel repulsed, shocked and emotionally "violated". That's what TRAs don't understand, or don't want to admit. They gaslight us about our instincts.

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 29 insightful - 4 fun29 insightful - 3 fun30 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

They don't understand because most of them are touch-starved teenage virgins.

[–][deleted] 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

i honestly see transwomen/men that pass enough not to be clocked immediately as catfishing. Because that is what they are doing, and they know that which is why you have them talking about "genital fetishes." They put on the guise of the opposite sex to try to attract people that are clearly expecting a certain type of body. Like no thanks! i like real women who just are.

[–]Shadow_Lurker 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Most of the HSTS travestites that do this end badly beaten up, or in the worst case scenario, dead.

People really don't like to be fooled.

[–][deleted] 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

and obviously i don't want trans people to be beaten or killed. but the way i've heard them talk about "stealthing" is basically rape by deception yet no one in their camp thinks that it is wrong. weird how consent does not apply to trans people!

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No one has ever been able to put forth a female-attracted trans woman who any lesbian would find attractive. They appear to be in the "never pass." Trans people who at least somewhat pass tend to be homosexual based on their biological sex.

Edit: I saw someone getting spammed with so-called passing trans women on Twitter and they were trying to pile on the message that gender over-rides sex, saying how can you not find these trans-women attractive? And to be honest, none would be attractive to lesbians because they sculpted their bodies into cartoonish shapes made from plastic and lesbians tend to be attracted to women in their natural state. As women, we know what that looks like better than these likely virginal men do. So I pointed out that everyone they posted was male-attracted and could they show anyone who was female-attracted. Nope, none. No examples. Instead they turned it around to be about me placing undue weight on "passing." Why was I so obsessed with passing? Clearly that's transmisogynist or whatever, even though this interaction started with them obsessing about passing and spamming pics. I was also accused of soliciting transbian porn. Yea like a lesbian wants to see transbian porn lol. Even they couldn't come up with a single passing transbian, so instead a bunch of TRAs attacked me. But it was telling. I hit a nerve. A glitch in their matrix.

I love how they show pics of trans men and say, "Really, you find this more attractive than this?" and show a picture of a trans woman. No, I don't find either attractive. I don't find men trying to look like blow-up dolls attractive, nor do I find women who have taken exogenous hormones to imitate male sex characteristics. I am attracted to women who don't do that. It's not our fault that trans women and trans men take themselves out of the dating pool of the people generally attracted to their biological sex and also never successfully enter the dating pool of those who are attracted to their target sex.

[–]8bitgay 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I'd probably be attracted to a transman who passes well with their clothes on

That never happened for me, and I doubt it ever would.

Now that I think about it, I like guys who have a "natural" look. And transmen who try to pass will have a highly manufactured look, because they are actively trying to emulate a masculine ideal. So even if a transman passed enough for me to not notice it, he would be emulating a look that doesn't attract me. Not to mention looks are only good for pictures. If it's a video for example then the voice will be noticeable.

Even with cis guys, the genitals make a difference. It's not that the genitals are the only thing that matter, but having a view of the guy's body as a whole (including genitals) is different from just seeing his face. There were situations when a porn actor didn't attract me in particular while clothed but I found him attractive after seeing him naked.

That being said...

They use this argument of "passing" transmen a lot, comparing pictures of feminine transwomen and masculine transmen, and then saying "which of those would a gay man find attractive?". And I kinda like that they use it because it's so easy to show the contradictions and the gaps in this argument.

The pictures they use obviously depend on stereotypes. They'll show you the most feminine transwoman they find and the most masculine transman they find. So it's easy to call them out on it. You can even call them transphobic, since they're basically saying that only very masculine transmen are valid.

You can also use the same strategy as them. Find a picture of someone who identifies as transwoman that still looks like a masculine man, and a picture of someone who identifies as transman that still looks like a feminine woman. And ask them which one attracts gay men.

There are many variations of this that you could use back at them, really. You could use examples of non-binary people, of gender non conforming people. If you're willing to go NSFW you could even find some dick pics and ask which of the dick pics are attractive to gay men. After all, according to their rules we're supposed to somehow know the gender identity of the dick's owner and find the dick attractive or not depending on it.

Their argument works in a super binary way of "very masculine transman x very feminine transwoman" (ironically since they supposedly hate the gender binary so much). So anything that feels outside this binary disrupts their viewpoint.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Here's a story you might find interesting. Several years ago I was tasked with meeting a (faculty position) candidate for breakfast. He was already sitting down when I entered the coffee shop. I already knew from the CV that he identified somewhere in the LGBTQ+ rainbow, and talking to him I assumed he was a gay man. He kept talking about his "partner" etc. among other things. There was something I didn't like about him, and something that seemed off, but I tend to try not to make snap judgments. Later in the day I went to his seminar, and I noticed that he was really short and had uncommonly wide hips. I still wasn't putting it together until he came out in his talk as a transman. Then I was like oooohh!

Basically, I was pretty naive back then.

Several years later, in a totally different job setting, I had to work closely for a bit with a transman. This guy was very close to passing: tall enough to be considered average height for a man, square face, hips were more on the narrow side, etc. I actually thought he was reasonably attractive as a guy (although he's married to a woman so straight-identifying). But there are still some subtleties that land him in the uncanny valley. I think most people wouldn't notice unless they looked very closely.

Mostly I don't think trans people pass if you look closely.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would instantly lose attraction to a woman I was seeing if I learned that she had a kid. Not because I hate kids or parents. I am just in no position to be dating someone with a child, I'm not up for that kind of relationship, and it's a deal-breaker. There are a million things that would cause us to lose attraction.

[–]Shadow_Lurker 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Most of the MtF and FtM that "pass" (if not all of them) are HSTS and not "gaydens" or "transbians", and even then, they all depend on some tricks in order to do so. Good camera angles, appropriate clothing and so on, so on.

I would not be contrary to call this actual catfishing, as it's really close, but I'm not feeling that mean today.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is a form of catfishing. A lesbian woman getting tricked by a trans identifying man because he passes is basically being duped into the relationship by not being given full information.

[–]livingPotatoe41Straight guy, ally 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good arguments made right there, bud.

Also, telling people they are a transphobe for excluding them from the dating pool is no different than excluding... Let's say people with tattoos literally all over their body. Both of these have made some long-term changes to their bodies and I'm not into that. (Also you're still the same sex you were, lol) Some people may, but I'm not. You should respect that.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They're too caught up in making everything about 'transphobia' they don't realise the whole reason we might initially find a clothed trans man attractive is through the mistaken assumption that they're male.

[–]CleverNickName 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

This got me thinking about the core argument. They pass.

They... pass. They don't realize what that word means, do they?
Dictionary defintion:

to identify oneself or be identified as something one is not

A transperson passing really really well as a woman just highlights how much they are not a woman. They are merely passing. They'll only ever pass like a woman.

I even took that definition from woke-ass Merriam Webster, who if you remember recently changed "homosexuality" to 'offensive'. The Cambridge Dictionary one is even more brutal: "to be accepted as being something that you are not, esp. something better or more attractive".

"This transitioned female passes really well as a man" isn't a gotcha, it's a terrible revelation.

inb4 "language changes, you bigot!" (not that that happens here)

[–]BiHorror 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They're desperate. So, they're trying by any means possible to make same (or opposite) sex attracted people attracted to them... Also, validate their "gender identity" sexuality uwu

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't understand why they always try and turn it back onto the other side of transgenders when we say we aren't attracted to transmen (for gays) or transwomen (for lesbians)

Who in the history of the world has tried to say that gay men are attracted to anyone with a penis or that lesbians are attracted to anyone with a vagina other than, y'know, the people who have tried historically to murder us and then continued to protest our existence? I'm not attracted to twinks, what makes you think I want a woman with a bad hair cut?

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They're mentally ill. Logic doesn't work on crazy people, and they are 100% crazy.