LesbianSo, they often feel as predators but don't do nothing about it

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[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 46 insightful - 1 fun46 insightful - 0 fun47 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Really offensive. The fear some lesbians have of being seen as a predator by other women is not because we believe deep down we’re not lesbians, morons. It’s because unlike you, we are of the female sex and as a result of that, we regularly experience male creepiness and have sexual aggression and perversion foisted upon us without our consent by people like you from long before we became adults. That can result in us have a difficult time openly sexualizing other women because we don’t want women to feel that same discomfort that is forced on us since we were children.

[–]blackrainbow[S] 27 insightful - 4 fun27 insightful - 3 fun28 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

Another thing that amazes me is that the feeling of "being a girl" is "valid" while the feeling of being a predator is not

[–]reluctant_commenter 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's a really important insight. I think it is telling, as well, that they just blanket-deny or blanket-accept feelings, rather than examining where they come from. It's black-and-white, "valid" or "not valid".

[–]blackrainbow[S] 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Well, black and white thinking is a BPD symptom

[–]reluctant_commenter 19 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

The fear some lesbians have of being seen as a predator by other women is not because we don’t believe deep down we’re not lesbians, morons.

Exactly! There is a huge difference between the sources of these two forms of self-doubt that lesbians and male "transbians" experience. These trans-identified males brush away all nuance when they say, "It's normal to feel predatory as a lesbian".

[–]Eurowoman24 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

don't worry straight men take care of making us feel that discomfort all by themselves.

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Have you guys ever actually felt like a predator? Where/how? I'm interested because I have never experienced this feeling. I've had straight women (as I'm sure we all have) think we're going to chase them but it has never made me felt like a predator because I wasn't one.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I don’t feel like a predator but I do have a fear of making women uncomfortable in the same way men have made me feel uncomfortable. And while I don’t feel like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, I do fear others seeing me as such because as I’ve learned, straight people will not reach the conclusion on their own that I’m gay. So that means when they do find out, it’s like they see me in an entirely new light, they’re really caught off-guard about it, and I’m sure they replay their social interactions with me in their heads.

[–]les4leshomonormative 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I do have a fear of making women uncomfortable in the same way men have made me feel uncomfortable.

This is it exactly. I don't fear being predatory because I know I'm not a predator. But I do fear people seeing me as one because thats what they expect of lesbians.

[–]blackrainbow[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Luckily only a few people still think like this (at least where I live)

[–]just_lesbian_things 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It was worse when I was younger (12-18ish). I was afraid of other people mistaking me for a pervert, or worse, making the girls/women around me uncomfortable. I would avoid using the restroom when there are other girls/women around. On overnight trips, I would ask to sleep away from other girls/women- once when I was camping, I got in trouble with the counselor for sleeping outside by myself instead of in the tent with the other girls. I avoided changing and being around other girls/women when they were changing whenever possible. I think a lot of it came across as fussiness and shyness. I was definitely way more bothered about it than any of the girls/women around me, most of whom just get annoyed they can't keep talking to me while they change because I insist on leaving the room. On the other hand, you get these male trans people demanding entry into female-only spaces...