I think it’s a good reminder of why it’s important to ask questions and to have spaces where we can ask questions. I generally agree with the response that was given to you (i.e. that if queer is just non-adherence to sex stereotypes, which is what it seems do be, then why have that description if it’s just how all humans are) but I have no problem with you asking the question. If you don’t ask, you don’t learn.

I will also add one more thing to why I can’t stand “queerness” being pushed on us. And this is not to imply that you are pushing it on us. You’re merely asking a question. The media and LGBT orgs are though. Anyway, we are a varied bunch in here. Some of us appear to be more in conformity with gender stereotypes than others, but all of us share the most gender-conforming trait there is: same-sex attraction. So we look and act all different ways and generally want to get rid of the notion that gay is a feeling, style, or political or ideological belief system. Homosexual or bisexual merely describe our pattern of attraction, no more, no less. Other than the inherent consequences to our lives of that same-sex attraction, the rest is just stereotypes. We are the ones who really just want to live our lives in peace. People who tend to double down on labeling themselves “queer” may claim they do, but they generally want the opposite. They want to be celebrated, exalted, regarded as oppressed, seen as special and enlightened, held up as knowers of truth most people don’t have access to because they’re not marginalized enough, etc. There is constant attention-seeking behavior inherent in “queerness.” It’s right there in the name. They don’t want to be seen as ordinary. They want to tear down institutions and build new ones that center them. This is generally the opposite of what we want, which is freedom to be ourselves, not to force anyone else to do, say, or think anything.