LesbianPenis-averse lesbian asks for advice on ask transgender

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[–]Tikiri 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

I hope and pray she doesn’t go through with it, but if she does the only thing I can hope is that it does not traumatize her to a debilitating degree. It makes me sick to my stomach that a young person trying to explore her sexuality has to do anything physical with these sick freaks.

I’m going to sound like an old religious fuddy duddy (I’m a genX agnostic-leaning person), but why can’t young people just hang out i.r.l. for a good long while (and in relatively safe, public places) with people to whom they feel an initial attraction and see whether they want to take it further, instead of just jumping into bed with someone they’ve not even seen i.r.l.?! Anyone can develop feelings of “attraction” to people online who turn out to be predators. I mean they have entire TV series about this on the ID channel! There’s something to be said for the “old-fashioned” practice of just hanging out as friends to see if it’ll go further.

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I cannot believe that it's considered not only acceptable, but encouraged to meet up and have sex with people you are repulsed by just to be open minded. What kind of hellworld do we live in? OP is going to meet up with this person and learn that transgenders take photos at the most "passing" angles, and even those that pass in photos look undeniably male in person. Seeing people in the comments blatantly trying to coerce this young woman into sex acts she clearly doesn't want to do is genuinely making me nauseous. How can TRAs look at this shit and think "yeah, we're the good guys"?

[–]reluctant_commenter 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Dunno, but I've had people (my age, early 20s) tell me I'm a stick-the-mud for not using tinder, lol. I don't really get it either, it's very hard for me to be drawn to pictures and descriptions without actually having some context for the person, hearing them talk, etc. Guess I will just be single for a while, hahaha. I don't mind waiting longer, I am not in a rush.

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts 20 insightful - 7 fun20 insightful - 6 fun21 insightful - 7 fun -  (3 children)

My tinder experience has gone like this:

  1. Match with some girl

  2. Forget whatever clever opener I thought of when I swiped right on her

  3. Commence awkward small talk that goes nowhere

  4. Repeat this several times a day until giving up

[–]reluctant_commenter 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

RIP haha, that sounds rough. I think it's a great idea in theory, but it requires a) initiative b) mutual interest in actually pursuing something.

I have heard people saying (and read survey stats suggesting) that many people on dating apps are actually not looking to date or even hookup, but rather as a way of getting validation for their pictures. It takes a degree of vulnerability to be actually in the game, and I'd imagine it feels kind of shitty to have that element in the mix.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure plenty of people, especially women, are there just to have others people tell them they're great lol But still for a lesbian, there is no better way

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I mean, I got my last girlfriend without a dating app. I do have a lot of acquaintances who are LGB though, and I'm sure that's not an option for someone living rurally, for example.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not religious at all and I as well don't get the whole, "Jump into bed on the first meeting." In my 20's I tried it out and it was not for me in the slightest. I am romantically attached to people I sleep with and just bopping around fucking everyone who I find attractive doesn't work at all. That being said, my 30's have been quite lonely because I don't engage in this behavior. People naturally assume I have no interest in them if I am not making sexual comments right off the bat.

[–]Tikiri 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That’s really lame! I think it’s because we live in such a hyper sexualized age, and hookup culture is the norm (especially with the proliferation of dating apps). Oddly enough, I don’t think it’s a novel historical phenomenon - if you read about dating in the ‘Me’ decade of the ‘70s, it seems to have been quite similar, even among heterosexuals! What brought it all to a screeching halt was the AIDS era of the ‘80s, which is when I grew up. So, you may feel alone and frustrated, but honestly I don’t think you’re in a minority - I think there are more people who feel the way you do, regardless of sexual orientation. But I’m GenX and out of the whole dating scene. Also, I may be indulging in wishful thinking, but I feel that the explosion of AGP trans culture and individuals, where everyone is suddenly compelled/forced to include these people in their dating and sexual lives, might make more people question hookup culture in general.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Is it mean that I hope she goes through it and sees the truth? I mean she says anything that goes against TRA narrative is Terfy so fuck her.

[–]LeaveAmsgAfterBeep 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Honestly some of the comments on that thread strike me entirely as (one even admitted) they had to be told FIRST something was off the table.

Ie if she changes her mind, it won’t likely matter to some of the users on there. I hope she changes her mind. I don’t even care if she isn’t a lesbian (I can’t imagine still being turned on by someone after seeing a picture of their dick), I just hope she can get away if she does.