LifestyleOpinions on same sex marriages and adoptions

submitted by Wos290 from (self.LGBDropTheT)

I'm from a country where neither of those things are legal (atleast not yet), though I still believe my country is a good place for lgb people and the law does allow civil unions.

From what I've noticed (and it's also kinda obvious), most lgb people tend to argue in favour of legalising same sex marriages and in favour of same sex couples adopting children.

I wonder what is your guys opinion on the topic, because the truth is the more I think about it the more I kinda fail to see the need for same sex marriages. I'm in a happy long term relationship but don't exactly see what would I need marriage for if I can still get into a civil union with my bf.

And the adoptions are kind of a controversial topic to me because I'm not convinced that same sex couples raising a kid can't mess the kid up. People might bring up that since single parenting is normalised in our society, so why shouldnt the same be true for same sex couples. But somehow I still think the two cases are pretty different.

Also, I'm not exactly in favour of surrogacy and if anything believe actual adoption to be the more moral choice. But even then by adopting an orphan you are still taking away from them the chance of being adopted by a normal couple.

Anyway, I'm kinda curious if there are people with the same opinions as me and if not I'm still curious to hear yours, maybe change my mind.

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[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just because I don't care about marriage doesn't mean I don't think other people should have equal rights. Young people growing up today can't understand why it should be an issue for same-sex couples to marry since they enjoy all the other rights of heterosexual couples. Adoptions, I don't know, but I do know several great gay and lesbian couples who have adopted kids that other people rejected and are doing great jobs with them, so good on them. I'd certainly rather a child be adopted by a same sex couple than not adopted at all. I don't agree with surrogacy but if people make their own private arrangements and it's not a purely economical choice for the woman, not my business.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

My country is similar to yours, but same-sex unions aren't considered as unions legally. At the same time LGB people are in fine spot, homophobia was big 15-25 years ago, and 25+ years ago we had homophobic laws, but nowadays homophobia isn't huge. People still disgusted, but not very hateful.

In my country being married is giving for married couple legal protections (especially if divorce will happen), healthcare profits and some other small profits by law.

This means either marriage should be removed from law completely (and replaced with something like unions), or same-sex marriage should be there, as we are getting less protections and profits than straight people when living together.

With adopting it is complex question I have opposite opinions, with pluses and minuses, so I am not decided on this topic. Maybe case to case practice would be the best solution.

the chance of being adopted by a normal couple

normal couple

Homosexual couple is normal too, nature created us like this.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

Homosexual couple is normal too, nature created us like this.

Nature didn't "create" anything. You are sounding like some divine power made us homosexual; no it didn't. At best it's a benign aberration but I believe it to be a harmful one. If nature "intended" this, it wouldn't be so full of problems, sex would be easier, or humans would be entirely hermaphroditic, and it wouldn't be a very small minority.

This is false belief and you've seen from TRAs what false belief and delusion can do. Don't end up like that.

[–]reluctant_commenter 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know about a higher power "intending" anything, but religious beliefs are another question.

There is evidence that homosexuality may be a side effect of a beneficial evolutionary trait, or perhaps beneficial in itself. Some research has suggested that a trait that enhances attraction to men, may make a woman more fertile and sexually active when she has the trait, but make a man gay when he has it. This video talks more about it:

https://youtu.be/8UUQ0ygcIg4

Maybe I'll make a post about this topic though, it is definitely its own subject. As of now, it seems like both genetics and environment have significant roles in determining same-sex attraction.

[–]8bitgay 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm in a happy long term relationship but don't exactly see what would I need marriage for if I can still get into a civil union with my bf.

I don't know the specific laws of your country, but in many countries you might not be able to visit your boyfriend in the hospital or get in his healthcare plan, among other legal privileges.

Maybe legal marriage is an outdated concept, but if that's the case then go and remove marriage from law altogether. But I can't imagine how you can convince society at large of giving up on that. As it is, I don't see why heterosexual couples can enjoy the legal benefits of marrying while other couples can't.

But even then by adopting an orphan you are still taking away from them the chance of being adopted by a normal couple.

There's nothing abnormal about gay/lesbian couples. And again, I don't know how it is in your country, but in mine it's not like gay/lesbian couples are "stealing" the chance of straight couples. The overwhelming majority of straight couples breed instead of adopting, there are still lots of children waiting to be adopted.

I find it a bit weird that people think a perfectly fine, balanced and loving gay/lesbian couple will mess up with raising children... While the bar for a straight couple to raise a child is literally being too dumb to use a condom.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Both gay marriage and adoption are legal in my country, Ireland. Gay marriage came about as a result of a referendum, in which I voted yes. Before that, we had civil partnerships, which gave us most but not all of the rights of marriage. Yes, the civil partnership law could have been amended so that it would give us all of the rights of marriage, but I prefer marriage anyway. If at least 60% of a country's population support it, then it should be legal. I can still live with civil unions, but marriage, in my opinion, is better.

I support same sex adoption. Yes, the child might not have both a mother and a father, but he can still have uncles, aunts and grandparents. I can understand adoption agencies turning away couples who don’t interact with extended families, but if a couple has a strong, healthy and close relationship with their family and their neighbours, then them being a same sex couple shouldn’t be an issue. Granted, if a child loses his parents, he should be placed under the custody of his aunts/uncles or grandparents, which isn’t adoption, but guardianship. Only if the family is messed up, atomised, or wants to respect the wishes of the birth parents should the child be put up for adoption.

I have problems with surrogacy and IVF though. You are deliberately bringing a child into a world where he won’t be raised by his biological parents, whereas with adoption, he has lost both of them. I can understand the appeal of having a child with your genetics, but what would the child think? Besides, I get the feeling that the purpose of gay people is to look after the elderly, the nieces and nephews, and the community as a whole while the straights have children and raise them. Sperm donations are legal in Ireland, but surrogacy is banned and it is a contentious issue. In Ireland, the main concern of the no side during the referendum was surrogacy, and they requested that surrogacy be banned completely after the referendum passed while gracefully accepting the results of the vote. A lot of people who voted yes also want surrogacy banned. And honestly, I’m fine with it being banned. If I ever have kids, I’m adopting.

[–]bastetkat 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6309949/

Despite higher levels of parenting stress for same-sex parents, their offspring did not differ in general health, emotional difficulties, coping behavior, or learning behavior when compared to the offspring of different-sex parents. This suggests that other factors may have mitigated the negative effects of parenting stress on child outcomes. In the U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), a community-based survey initiated in 1986 to provide prospective data on a cohort of lesbian parent families, 41% of adolescent offspring described experiences of stigmatization associated with their mothers’ sexual orientation. Although these experiences were associated with more problem behavior, adolescents who had close, positive relationships with their mothers demonstrated more resilience in response to stigmatization. Studies have also shown that lesbian mothers have concerns about rearing their children in a homophobic society, and feel more pressure to justify the quality of their parenting than their heterosexual counterparts. As a result, lesbian mothers use support systems such as parenting groups and counseling services in their efforts to foster healthy child development. Since the NSCH17 did not contain specific questions about stigmatization based on household type, future investigations might explore whether the cultural spotlight on child outcomes in same-sex parent families is associated with increased parenting stress.

[–]motss-pb 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

I don't really get the argument against adoption by same-sex couples. Children can find both male and female role models anywhere in life; it doesn't necessarily have to be a parent. It could be a grandparent, cousin, uncle, aunt, teacher, older sibling. I think that if you're going to argue that a same-sex couple will mess up a child, then you might as well argue that all same-sex relationships are inherently dysfunctional and detrimental.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (8 children)

then you might as well argue that all same-sex relationships are inherently dysfunctional and detrimental.

We can say that though... Look at gay male communities, it's almost entirely sex focused, there is little room for "love." Love is just not something frequently experienced by males, that's also why a lot of straight relationships turn out to be abusive.

It's not "homophobic" or "hateful" to point out reality and the obvious connections. I'm a homosexual male and I can honestly say I'd rather be raised by a single parent than a homosexual couple, I blame the reason for my sexuality partly on bad influence (unrestricted internet access and access to unhealthy sexual content when I was young) and I feel like being adopted by a homosexual couple would have had the same effect, if not worse.

Homosexuality reduced the quality of my life and there's a chance I'll never come back from it, I could NEVER feel comfortable raising a child knowing that I may cause him/her to go down the same road, even subconsciously/without being aware of it. Children pick up on their parents behavior very easily, that's why stuff like abuse and narcissism tends to pass down generations.

Plus it raises ethical questions about the child too. Are they adopting children who have already been abandoned (Who often already have a ton of mental health problems or even physical issues - is it really fair to put more potential stress on them?) or is it through surrogacy or otherwise taking from existing parents (which is using women's bodies for selfish desire, and I do not trust any person ESPECIALLY males who think it's ok to rent a woman's body to be entitled to a child to be good parents)

The fact about "gay" male penguins stealing eggs comes to mind. LGB(T)+ like to believe that homosexuality is a gift from God and that they'd all make happy, perfect, "progressive" parents and be even better than straight people. Nature and evidence says opposite.

As I said in my reply on this post, I think adoption should be handled case by case and parents should undergo extensive screening to make sure they are responsible and able to care for a child adequately. However I think such procedure would rule out a lot of homosexual couples (especially males.) Unfortunately it's also subjective, no one can really agree the "right" way of taking care of kids, so without any kind of standard then I think kids are being messed up in the adoption system.

I had a single mother and lost her at a young age, I think my experiences of being without my parents caused me to be the way I am. So no I don't believe children in the adoption system get to be a homosexual couple's accessory just because they're jealous and want to experience it, if they don't care they shouldn't be allowed to adopt and I think most LGB(T) parents are going to push harmful "progressive" propaganda onto their children.

[–]JVNoctisGay | Male | American | Men Are Amazing | White and Proud 12 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 5 fun -  (7 children)

Dude you sound like an Abrahamic trying to convince himself he's not gay.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I'm honestly so fed up of hearing him complaining and bringing negativity all the time lol (I know him since LGBDropTheT in reddit before the ban). I don't understand why he's still here when he clearly doesn't like it here and he admits to being Anti-LGBT. He could just go away, no one's stopping him from going 😅

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 9 insightful - 8 fun9 insightful - 7 fun10 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

he would miss complaining about gay to us.

[–]JVNoctisGay | Male | American | Men Are Amazing | White and Proud 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

He might just be ashamed of himself.

[–]candiedDagon 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Good to have diversity of opinions. If you want to develop a good argument you need to have to know how to respond to the counter arguments. Lizard has supplied a number of counter arguments.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not complaining about diversity of opinions lol. I'm complaining about his negativity all the time (in all posts in which he comments). I genuinely don't understand why he's here when he doesn't like it here. And what counter arguments do I need to have if I wasn't even answering him? I was simply ranting with someone on here and I wasn't even referring to his comments on this post specifically, but on his whole activity since he's been a member here.

[–]les4leshomonormative 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Agreed lololol this is LGB Drop The T, not LGB Drop The T and also the L and also the G and also the B 😒 If he doesn't see value in LGB community and solidarity why bother to come here

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Where have I not admitted I'm homosexual?

I admit it. Have been admitting it for a few years now. I may not like it, but I ain't gonna lie. I already tried that, and it didn't work. Duh.

[–]Seahorse 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In favour of same sex marriage, if civil unions are the same let's see how people go erasing marriage and replacing all with civil unions. Civil unions aren't marriage, my country legalised gay marriage 3 years ago... somehow it hasn't all gone to shit.

I'm also in favour of adoption, studies have shown that kids that grow up in same sex relationship households are no different than straight households (Actually I think results showed they were better off!)

[–]SailorMoon2020 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I believe in equal rights so if one has it and/or can legally do it then all should have it and legally do it. If one doesn't have it and can't legally do it, then no one can have it and legally do it. Exceptions may have to be changed depending on the amount of racism and/or discrimination one class may have from that of another.

The need for marriage in western society became no longer a need when women were no longer seen as property. Even still, benefits and advantages are granted to those who are married, and unless those same benefits and advantages are rolled over to long term partners then many will still see the benefit of marriage.

When it comes to children, I think it's better for children to be raised in a two parent home, as well as a home in which both male and female role models can be present in the child's life. I think it's very important for a male child to have both a male and female positive example and I think it's important for a female child to have a male and female positive example. When children lack one or the other, we see problematic behavior as the child gets older and transitions into adulthood.

I know this is possible for same sex couples. For example, I have a good lesbian friend who has been married to her wife for 14 years. They have three children all from the same donor. This donor is a family friend and still is involved with the children's life(as in being that male role model as the children get older). If the child ask, "can I see my daddy /do I have a daddy", the parent can say, "he's up the street".

As for adoption, again, I see nothing wrong with same sex couples adopting children with the hope the child will have those roles models. When it comes to cross race adoption, I'm more skeptical depending on the country and the environment. Culture is taught by environment so that's not important(to me). Race is not taught for when the child gets older, they'll begin to obviously see a difference.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

they'll begin to obviously see a difference.

I am not sure that lying to kid that you are real parents is a good thing to do. Especially if they will found out that later and will lose all trust.

[–]SailorMoon2020 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agreed. That's why I'm more skeptical of it. Often times parents won't address it all and when the child wants to find out more information, parents have tried to block them or deterred them from it. The experience is sometimes similar to biracial/multiracial kids in homogenous family units(aka single parent homes) or environments specifically in America.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's good to ask yourself why they give us civil unions but we have to fight for marriage. Marriage is a pretty sacred institution in alot of people's eyes, it's about family bonds, and passing on traditions, and creating new families. Now of course this can be done with civil partnerships, but we already have this social institution, marriage. They keep it from us because our relationships are considered lesser than theirs, so they offer up this marriage-lite, called civil partnerships. They hope separate but equal is enough to appease us. Young LGB shouldn't grow up thinking that there is a lesser version of something for them, IMO. Personally, I wouldn't join the military, but I'm glad people can if they want to. Same with marriage. And the Heteronormative argument seems like nonsense to me. Straight people have changed marriage roles for themselves and certainly same sex couples can do the same.

[–]TovasshiDefinitely a house plant 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm married. I live in Canada.

We have benefits that we'd otherwise not have if we weren't married. Some provinces have common-law marriage as a thing if you don't want to have legal marriage. However the rights and benefits are limited. Fur example, if become incapacitating my wife automatically is my power of attorney and can make medical decisions on my behalf. If we were just common law, she couldn't, my next blood relative would be.

You'd have to look into what benefits marriage provides for you in your country to see if it's worth it. It's more than "just a piece of paper" in some circumstance.

[–]HelloMomo 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Biology is real, even when it's personally inconvenient to us. To claim "the baby doesn't have a dad, just a sperm donor!" feels sort of like, "my clit is a dick now that I've been on T!" It's intellectually dishonest on a very basic level.

I'm against commercial surrogacy and anonymous sperm donors. I've heard stories of kids born those ways who have a huge sense of loss around the "missing parent," and this is made worse by the fact that no one will even admit that this person was their parent. (Not even getting into the issues with women's rights and surrogacy.)

When I'm ready to have a kid, I'd like the sperm donor to have a sort of uncle role in my kid's life: they'd know him, see him periodically, but we wouldn't co-parent.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

My ex's aunt is a lesbian. She's married and they have had three sons via donor (they're teenagers now). They're normal kids like all the other cousins in their family and act like typical teenage boys. The oldest is crazy good at sport and is doing really well at school. The others do the same dumb shit that young teenage boys do like have eating competitions and play football and stuff. I wish there was something more interesting to say, but they have boring, normal lives like everyone else.

I live in Australia and we had a big fuss over making gay marriage legal (there was a nation-wide census which returned an overwhelming result in favour). That was about 2-3 years ago? Everyone's copletely forgotten about it by now, gay marriage is pretty inconsequential really. It matters for gay people obviously but for 99% of society life just goes on. We've had gay / lesbian adoption for ages now (I don't know when that was legalised). Conservatives made a fuss in the marriage debate about gay people not being able to have a family— clearly forgetting that gay people can already adopt etc. I guess actual gay parents aren't that interesting, they sort of just blend in with everyone else. I have a friend who grew up with lesbian parents and said it was normal like any other family. There's not much to say really.

I worked at a sexual assault clinic mostly doing child sexual assaults for a bit. Homosexual parents wouldn't even register as a problem compared to some of the crazy, horrific, stuff some kids go through— who have heterosexual parents. Like, these kids (adults now) have had fucked up unimaginable shit happen to them, some were literally abused. There was a person there who was raped by both their mum and dad as a child. Imo the most important thing is that the parent provides the kids with a loving, safe, attentive environment.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I worked at a sexual assault clinic mostly doing child sexual assaults for a bit. Homosexual parents wouldn't even register as a problem compared to some of the crazy, horrific, stuff some kids go through— who have heterosexual parents.

It certainly helps that gay people who want to become parents have to go through bureaucratic procedures to verify their eligibility. Which is why I don’t understand the fuss about gay couples getting married and adopting children.

Also, keep doing what you are doing. Your job is highly important.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The problem with a lot of places is that "civil unions" and "marriages" aren't treated the same way legally. When it comes to visitation rights in hospitals, consent on behalf of a partner etc. often it applies only to married couples with same sex people not having the same opportunities. So for that I'm glad I can marry the guy I want. I might not decide to get married at all, but that doesn't mean I think other people shouldn't either.

There are a lot of debates about adoption too but I'm still in favour of same sex couples adopting. Nobody seems to bat an eye about a single parent raising a kid and it's often seen as brave, but then those same people argue that same sex couples shouldn't be able to adopt because then the kid wouldn't have a mother and a father. Of course gay people can be bad parents, but so can straight couples. There are kids who turn out fine and kids who have issues regardless of the sex of their parents.

[–]les4leshomonormative 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nobody seems to bat an eye about a single parent raising a kid and it's often seen as brave, but then those same people argue that same sex couples shouldn't be able to adopt because then the kid wouldn't have a mother and a father.

Yeah, came here to point this out. I'm sure everyone in the world can name someone whose straight parents did a horrible job raising them, but I've known several single mothers who've done a good job with their kids. Of course, single parents can face a lot of scrutiny as well, but I think that any parental situation that isn't "two married heterosexuals" is held to a very high standard.

And of course I'm not against holding parents to high standards when they're raising children, but I do wish straight couples were held to the same ones lol

[–]BiHorror 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hmm... I don't really care honestly? If people want marriage then it's w/o. To be honest tho, I say we should just abolish marriage. Why need it? Just do cohabitation (less stress and waste of money). Although, if that happens, something needs to be done when it comes to the benefits of getting married.

As for same sex adoption? Eh, I wouldn't see it as "messing" the kid up but I do see that they would be missing out on the experiences of having the opposite sex parent. I'm from a single parent household, and while I do love my mother, I do wish I had a father figure in my life.

Nevertheless, the most I be worried about is if people (straight or LGB) are qualified for the adoption. Alongside, if it's within the same culture or cross culture/race adoption.

[–]artetolife 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I've never been in favour of same sex marriage because I don't think emulating straight people is something to aspire to. Even my straight friends are rejecting aspects of marriage while gay people are getting really gung-ho about them, it's quite weird. Adoption is another matter, I was raised by a single mother and I was really thankful that I didn't have some of the toxic parents that a lot of my friends did. At least with adoption there's a lot of gatekeeping to go through to make sure you're a suitable parent.

And I am entirely opposed to surrogacy, I don't think it's ever fair for a woman to have to carry a child for another person.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Yes exactly that. Same sex marriage just feels like "Sexist heterosexual expectations, now rebranded for homosexuals too." No, actually, I don't want to be in a relationship with a man where I'm (or he is) deemed "the woman" and considered to be an object for him. Nor do I want to spend an absurd amount of money and stress over a symbolic event that doesnt actually prove your love or make your relationship more important.

(Plus I don't really believe that love is common especially among males. You can see this in the gay community and why 99% of places are sex/hookup focused and they generally don't have basic respect for others, let alone a deep sense of love.)

[–]Willpoll 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well on marriage, in the US at least it's tied to the feds. So that means you get certain benefits like tax breaks and other crap from being married, so I guess that's a good thing. Marriage to me at least also has some performative value to signify commitment.

On the topic of adoption I haven't really looked into the effects of kids being raised by same sex couples, but I guess I could see how not having a mother (or father) could mess up a kid. But then again maybe it's possible for a man to fill a mother figure role and a woman to do the same with a father figure role? I think that might be possible. I'll echo a lot of people in the replies and say my first and foremost worry in adoption though is making sure that the adoptee is competent to take care of the kid.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm in favor of adoption vs surrogacy as well. There are many children who desperately need homes.

I was also adopted by a straight couple and they were terrible parents. They gave me basically no life skills and to this day I am learning things that I should have learned as a child, young adult. I've basically had to raise myself.

All people can be bad parents. I used to be favor of psychological evaluations of anyone who wanted to raise any child (biologically theirs or otherwise) but with the recent crazy coming out of that field I don't trust what they would consider sane.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I think marriage is a terrible money sink and outdated sexist practice. I don't exactly OPPOSE same sex marriage, but I'm not for it either, and I definitely do not consider it a "right."

As for adoption; I think it's a matter of the mental state of the potential parents. We need some quality control. I don't think most same sex couples are mentally healthy and honestly, as someone who didn't have parents growing up I would be afraid that a gay (male) couple would have been more of a bad influence on me and could have taught me some harmful things regarding sex and "progressive" ideology.

I am a homosexual male and I don't believe in "born this way", I believe I turned out homosexual as a combination of abuse, mental health/brain problems since childhood, hormonal problems and bad influences of the internet unsupervised where I was exposed to a lot of unhealthy sexual content at a very young age. With these factors removed I don't think I would be homosexual today.

So I don't think there should be a rule saying "Homosexual couples can't adopt" but there should be a rule making sure that the potential parents are responsible and stable enough to take care of a child, and those rules would most likely rule out a lot of the homosexual population in itself.

I would not be comfortable raising a child, even if I would like to in the future. I don't think it would be right, I think I have too many issues, and I don't want to pass that on to a child I'm supposed to be caring for and protecting. That includes, but is not limited to, homosexuality. I have suffered with my sexuality extensively and been mistreated by men, it would horrify me to imagine my child being subjected to that.

Please don't listen to the comments bullying or trying to brainwash you, by the way, you are entitled to your opinion and there is nothing "hateful" about it.

[–]Gearbeta 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Regarding same sex adoption, ever work at a court house in the family division and see the utter dysfunction some straight couples have? I saw one man who was so mad at his ex, he paraded around naked pictures of his daughter to "prove" she was abusing her and nearly went to jail for child porn possession. Another man, again, angry at his ex stole 200000 dollars from his children's college fund and attempted to fuck off to Mexico before being caught by the feds and brought back in which he told us fuck you I hate my kids IN FRONT of them and said he would never give the money back. Cases where relatives are obviously abusing the children and parents are letting it happen. In those cases, can you REALLY say that these kids would be worse off with loving same sex parents? People I've seen who work in social work see worse shit than this and they agree, it's less about having a mom or a dad, especially if one or both is dysfunctional but about having people willing to love and care for the child and having the means to do it. If a gay couple can give a child the love and care they deserve I don't see why that should be prevented especially given the situation many children would be stuck in. There's not enough people willing to adopt right now especially if the child is a little older or a minority baby. So, many times, you wouldn't be taking away a child's chance to be adopted by a normal couple, that child might not get to be adopted ever and would stay in the system.

[–]LesbiSilly 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think marriage for same-sex couples is important in normalizing homosexual people into society. I also believe for legal advantages, it's very important.