LifestyleHow old were you when you found out your were LGB?

submitted by BiHorror from self.LGBDropTheT

Age? When did y'all discovered when you were les/gay/bi? Did you come out (or still in the closet) to anyone?

For me: I found out around when I decided to experiment (though always felt an attraction to both sexes at some point) and dated another girl. I was in high school, and about 15-16 maybe? Around teen years. I haven't came out to anyone except to those online obviously. Heh.

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[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 14 insightful - 23 fun14 insightful - 22 fun15 insightful - 23 fun -  (1 child)

When I was born, I looked back at my mother and thought to myself, 'that's the last time I'm coming out of one of those'.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 10 insightful - 14 fun10 insightful - 13 fun11 insightful - 14 fun -  (0 children)

When I was born, I looked back at my mother and thought to my self, "I like to have my face near one of those"

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

13/14. I'm out since that age to parents and friends.

[–]TarshishJupiterpolitically homeless 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

First crush on a girl: age 7

Second crush on a girl: age 11

First lesbian sex dream: age 17

First sexual desires for a woman outside of dreams: age 20

Finally accepting I'm a lesbian: almost 21

Coming out (to most people), first relationship, first kiss, first sexual experience: age 21

So it happened veerrrry slowly for me. I was homophobic for a long time, and I kept discounting female crushes and holding on to the hope that I would find the right guy someday (I never dated guys, but I still thought I'd have to marry one).

[–]artetolife 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

If I'd known what being gay meant then I'd probably have figured it out at the age of 8. But it took until my sexual feelings really kicked in for me to realise I was attracted to men and not women at about age 12. Then about another year to stop trying to fool myself into thinking I could fix it somehow. Then I came out at 14 when my family discovered my instant messenger logs 🙄

[–]BiHorror[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Jeez, did they take it well?

[–]artetolife 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not really, lol. This was nearly 20 years ago so things were very different.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Knew I liked both male and female: very young age 6/7?

I had so many crushes since then, both boys and girls, I really can't single out which one, what year. There was a lot of them.

Learned the words gay/lesbian: around 6th grade/ age 11/12

Learned the word bisexual: had to be high school, so I'm gonna go with 14

First unofficial girlfriend: 15 (we didn't call ourselves anything, we were just together for a long while and did stuff together. When you're that age, sometimes it's easier to hook up, if you don't label it as anything.)

First unofficial boyfriend: 14 (he called me his girlfriend, but I'd never agreed to that, but obviously, looking back now, that's what it was.)

Coming out? I've NEVER been out to my family or any social circle that's even remotely connected to them. I once had to quit a job because my aunt knew someone who worked there and kept pumping that person for information about me and I was semi-out-ish there and it was too scary. I CANNOT have my personal life and my family life mixing, unfortunately. I was out to non-family since about 15-35 then I just unofficially went back in the closet, except for the internet, of course.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

During kindergarden I liked girls, and my first crush was at the age of around 10. Words "homosexual" and "lesbian" I first learned at the age 20, same time when I had my first girlfriend as well.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Me too, duringer kindergarden.We're truly lesbians to the core lol

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I wonde how we looked at nanny there :D

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Something makes me believe I got out of my mother vag already horny lol

[–]julesburm1891 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

When I was in sixth grade, one of my good friends got asked to dance by a boy at a school dance. I was watching them by the punch bowl and remember thinking, “I want to punch him in his stupid face.” Then I freaked out and was trying to figure out why I was suddenly being such a jerk. It finally dawned on me that I wanted to be the one dancing with her. Cue five years of quiet panic until I finally accepted that I just like women.

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

First crush on a girl was at age 8.

First proper, over-the-moon serious crush on a girl was at 14. Also my first relationship.

I'm only 16 now so that's all there is to it, but I figured out I'm a lesbian last year, knew I wasn't straight when I was about 11 but figured I'm probably bisexual. Nope, definitely not.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess 14 years old when I realized I was totally in love with a girl. Then looking back, I felt attraction since kindergarden.

[–]SilverWolf 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I first started to notice guys when I was around 11 years old, but at the time I told myself that it was just me wanting to be like them, not be with them. I realized I was more interested in being with guys around 14 years old, but I spent most of high school trying to convince myself that I was bisexual, and I just had to meet the right girl. Then, when I was 18, I met someone who is basically my ideal woman, and felt absolutely nothing, so I realized I would never meet the right woman. 18 years old is also when I came out to my family as the gay man that I am.

[–]HelloMomo 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Then, when I was 18, I met someone who is basically my ideal woman, and felt absolutely nothing, so I realized I would never meet the right woman.

I had a similar experience, although flipped because lesbian. I knew I wasn't interested in boys by the time I was 10, but I still for years kinda thought I should kiss a boy like once, just for life experience or whatever. I was never going to put effort into making it happen, because I'm too lazy to work for something I don't actually want, but if the opportunity fell in my lap... Then when I was in my first year of college, my male friend (who I really liked, and who was strikingly similar to me in many ways) was over. We were hanging out, and I guess he thought we were having a moment or something? He asked if he could kiss me, and I was just, "...no." Like if you'd asked me half an hour before, when it was still theoretical, I would've said I should go ahead with it, just to try. But when it actually came down to it, just... no.

[–]MisandryFTW 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I used to fool around with and get serious crushes on other girls as a kid. I even had a "girlfriend" and we were going to get married someday (spoiler: we did not) but I never realized it was weird because everyone just thought it was cute or funny. I didn't hear the word lesbian until I was in my teens and it meant "a woman who acted like a man and was angry and mean and dangerous". Later on I learned the definition meant "A women who pretended to like other women to get attention from men, a slut, also a porn category" and finally I realized the true meaning way too late.

That said I was 14 and already experienced with women when I realized I "might be bisexual" and it took me until my 30s to realize I was definitely a lesbian. I'm kind of dumb like that. I always thought straight/bi women and gay/bi men just pretended to be attracted to men to be polite because obviously no one is actually into it, gross. Hahaha. :/

Fun fact, all my male exes (and rapists) have since come out as trans spectrum, so I am technically a retroactive gold star.

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Figured it out much sooner but I also thought all women pretended to like guys and weren't actually into them, I have no idea why I thought that but it proves how we all sort of assume everyone thinks like we do even when it's ridiculous since we only have access to our own perspectives. Still can't comprehend how anyone can actually be into men, or even more weirdly how they can not be into women at all. It's like not being able to "get" how someone hates the taste of your favourite food even though intellectually you know it's possible lol

[–]MisandryFTW 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I mean women are sexualized all over the media and men are not really. You might just assume it's because everyone is secretly attracted to women but not to men, instead of realizing it's because the whole world caters to straight men.

[–]Canardyyy 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was maybe 13-14. But I was confused and honestly thought everyone was attracted to girls.

Edit: I’ll have to retract that and say I was much younger. Probably like 7-8. But I was a kid and I didn’t think much about it.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Around 11/12. Started to develop sexual feelings and realised I was only attracted to other guys. Nobody believed me when I came out though because I wasn't stereotypical or anything. Told a friend at school who then blackmailed me to tell everyone else in our friend group or she'd tell the whole school.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Told a friend at school who then blackmailed me to tell everyone else in our friend group or she'd tell the whole school.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that :( your experience is actually quite similar to mine. I realised a little later than you (13/14) when I also started to develop sexual feelings. The first friend I told reacted very badly, and barely talked to me from that moment on and suddenly lots of people already knew about me and used to bully me or constantly ask me if I liked girls or if I didn't like men or dick in a derogotaroty tone :( until I left that school, 4 years later, basically LOTS of people who didn't even know me, knew that I was lesbian. I lost friends... Oh well, I'm glad it's over!

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Around school time, especially in latter classes.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Don't like that wording, I wasn't born gay.

Anyway, I think I was about 11 when I started developing unhealthy sexual obsessions on another boy I knew. After that it just went downhill. Couldn't really get any help for it especially in fear of being in trouble (I wasn't raised by very forgiving people) so it just kept getting worse and was never resolved.

I have never dated another male nor have I had any desire to. I don't feel "love" for men.

I didn't call myself homosexual until about 2018, and that was after much cycling between straight and bi. I didn't think (and still kind of dont) that I qualified as homosexual because I couldn't relate to that cheesy, fake, "Men loving men" and "Love is love" stuff. Mine was always just a sick obsession, and one I don't enjoy either.

Although that's only online, I do NOT call myself homosexual in real life and I am doing a good job of hiding it. No one needs to know, no one should know, unless they can help me. But until that happens I'd rather not have the world view me as a butt of a joke thanks to modern "Pride" culture so it's going to be a secret forever.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Around 14 I was in denial that I was straight but just liked to jerk off to pictures of undressed men

I finally accepted myself at 15 or 16 after some time on the internet and finding online communities that allowed me to learn what homosexuality was and that it was ok.

And this is exactly why subreddits like AL and the billions of trans online forums are objectively harmful, because they might've convinced me that I was a trans if I had run into them before I found a real gay community. And after the ban wave that ended subs like this, it would have been so much more likely for me to have been indoctrinated into their fetishist cult.

A lot of what happens hits me too close to home because I was reliant on the internet to learn who I was, and now their chokehold on every major online is giving them so much more power than ever to increase their numbers of gay children who were just confused

[–]Willpoll 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If I had to tack a number to it, i'd say 9-12ish. Was quick enough to accept myself at 13. Not out to my folks yet at 19 but hoping to be soon

[–]cervix 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

17-18. I was in college and saw the GSA and thought to myself "gay people are so lucky, they're such a tiny percentage of the population, less than 5%, what's the change that it'll fall on you and you'll be able to only date the same sex?" And then I went "😮".

[–]CheesyPeas 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Around the age of 10.

The Grattan catalogue underwear pages had me very quickly realising that I was 'not like the other boys'.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think middle-high school age. When I wanted to kiss girls. And then having a gigantic crush on an older classmate. She's still very pretty and it hurts still thinking about her.

[–]dandeliondynasty 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Probably 10 or 11. Got into my dads stack of Playboys.

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Around 13, and I came out at 15. Between that there was the quintessential period of attempting to fix myself and like women. It didn't work.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I realized I was attracted to girls at age 12 but at the time I didn't even know what lesbian or gay were. At the time I thought of it as odd, intrusive thoughts and daydreaming. I started talking about my attraction to women out loud to some friends at age 17. We were talking about the Kinsey scale and I remember saying I thought I was a 2 (on a scale from 0 to 6, so level 3 of 7). I remember that I chose this number because it felt safe in that it recognized I was "more than incidentally" attracted to women but put me closer to homosexual than heterosexual. I didn't adopt any label. "Bisexual" never felt right to me and I remember thinking that this was in part because I didn't want men to think I might be interested in them. I finally embraced being a lesbian at 30 due to a number of things in my life coming together all at once that forced me to actually think about my sexual orientation and also accept that I had never been attracted to men and that it wasn't a problem I needed to work on. I don't tend to refer to myself as a "lesbian" IRL though. I just say I'm into women.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I always knew to some degree. I remember becoming aware that it was a bad thing though.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I always knew I was 'gay' even before I understood the word. I never had any interest in girls and my first crush was a boy in my class when I was ten.

I was 14 when I finally 'identified' as gay.

I never had any desire, urge or need to 'experiment' or figure myself out. Sexual 'fluidity' is for people somewhere between gay and straight, I think everyone else just gets on with their lives and knows what they are. From that point onward it's just facing up to societal issues.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

13-14 I started to notice I was attracted to women. About 15-16 that became more of a sexual attraction. I thought I was bisexual at this point because I thought I'd be attracted to a guy if I met the right one. I hadn't had a romantic / sexual relationship at this point so I didn't have that much to go off. At 22 I fell in love for the first time with another woman (it wasn't reciprocated, it was complex). I tried dating a man at around the same time and the magic just wasn't happening. Also I wasn't attracted to him. At this point I figured out were the chips fell.

[–]S4V0S7 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was 16. Had my first crush on a guy when i was 14.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hit puberty at 12 and that's when my attrition to men became undeniably sexual.

It took until I was 14 to start to come out to myself. Initially I thought I was bi because I "had crushes" on girls, but a year later of breaking down and analyzing how I really felt I was able to come to the conclusion that I am only attracted to men.