"You can't ask someone if they are trans" according to the not-lesbians on r/actuallesbians.

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[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 62 insightful - 39 fun62 insightful - 38 fun63 insightful - 39 fun -  (3 children)

I would totally watch a prank show where two Trans women are set up to meet on an app while both pretending to be actual women, using facetune or whatever to make themselves look as femmy as possible, then they go on a blind date, and then have to act like they're totally okay with each other's girl-dicks while having an awkward dinner together because they don't want to look twansphobic uwu on camera. Meanwhile we just watch them both die on the inside slooowly.

[–]Rosefield 34 insightful - 4 fun34 insightful - 3 fun35 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

The thing is THEY are allowed to reject other trans women because dysphoria and whatever else they claim. Only lesbians have validation duty. Rules for thee but not for me.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 26 insightful - 15 fun26 insightful - 14 fun27 insightful - 15 fun -  (0 children)

OMG HAHAHA that would make the show even funnier, if they felt entitled enough to show their true faces and start ranting and raving about how deceived they felt! And then they could have the producers interviewing them behind the camera like:

"Do you remember when we put your profile on the app together and you said that trans people don't have to reveal their trans identity to anyone? Do you still feel that way now?"

And then just watch them implode with rage.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 21 insightful - 6 fun21 insightful - 5 fun22 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Brilliant! Sell this shit to Bravo.

[–]Ladis_Wascheharuum 74 insightful - 5 fun74 insightful - 4 fun75 insightful - 5 fun -  (12 children)

Imagine that you had a trait that if you said it in a profile, can get you ghosted by nearly everyone with relatively little reason, cos people can be prejudiced and categorical about who they date ("what, you don't want to date any X people, even ones you would otherwise find attractive?").

If your dating strategy is based around deceiving people, because you know they wouldn't date you if they knew the truth, how are you not a step away from being a rapist?

[–]disheveledtomboyGen X Old AF DGAF 36 insightful - 3 fun36 insightful - 2 fun37 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

That quoted sentence alone tells me this person has no concept of dating or has ever dated in the real world in any appreciable manner. Nobody in their right mind would take sex advice from virgins, why would anyone take relationship advice from these rapey psychos?

I hope the younger lesbians preemptively block them on sight on those dating apps.

[–]upcomingDaddygay af 32 insightful - 7 fun32 insightful - 6 fun33 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

"It's rape with extra steps"

[–]NiceDickBro 22 insightful - 21 fun22 insightful - 20 fun23 insightful - 21 fun -  (1 child)

My Profile:

Hey there fellow lezzos! I'm just here to FUCK GIRLS, I am a real former man-girl with a HUGE lady COCK and BALLS! Come join the girls only fun, otherwise you're a fucking bigoted piece of shit!

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

😂😂😂😂😂

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I sent the girl a message, directing it on said it lesbian sub. I told her she needed a place to talk with real lesbians. Hope she will get it.

[–]mevesiisick of flags 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You did a good deed! Though I fear that she'll be too scared of committing thought crimes to listen to real lesbians. I've seen it before and it's heartbreaking.

I can get behind it now that I'm beginning to change my frame of mind and how I was thinking of it.

Oh honey, no...

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's particulary dangerous for very young girls, they're so easy to manipulate. But seriously, going to a reddit sub a lesbian is simply damaging.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

What a saviour, baby

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm a lesbian knight :D

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have a disorder of sexual development. In short - I'm biologically male but with wide hips and other feminine features. Chances are, this excludes me from the dating pools of a lot of men and women. Not everyone likes androgyny.

Even though I know my options for dating are slim, I can't imagine "catfishing" or going on dating apps and trying to hide it. I mean, it would be extremely hard to hide for one, I'd either have to never post pictures of myself (which is suspicious) or I'd have to use one of those new AR filters that makes a person look more manly.

Even if I was a selfish bastard I also don't see how it would even benefit me. Most likely, if I managed to secure a date and then went to meet them in real life... they'd be shocked, angry, disappointed. So even if I managed to trick them up until that point, how is that a win?

[–]julesburm1891 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why are these people fighting to date people who don’t want to date them? At best, it sounds like a miserable date for both parties. At worst, it’s rape.

[–][deleted] 33 insightful - 6 fun33 insightful - 5 fun34 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

"you don't need to know because it's THEIR choice >:((( you preferences don't matter >:(("

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 33 insightful - 2 fun33 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

RIGHT?!? Like, there are TWO people in a relationship!

Besides, I doubt a (reasonable..) trans person would want to waste time with someone who doesn't want a trans partner anyway. Why not just have the conversation sooner?

[–][deleted] 28 insightful - 7 fun28 insightful - 6 fun29 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

You think she's the only actual woman in that thread right now?

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Would believe it lol. According to the data analysis I posted recently, the chances are reasonable.

[–]BiHorror 25 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 2 fun -  (10 children)

Lol at Disappointmentparty's comments. Nevertheless, is it non-consensual to withheld vital information, fellas? They say it's up to the TW to let someone know but then around and cry wolf if someone else makes a comparison to withholding info of age or having AIDS.

When I used watch Blaire White, they also said something similar to that. Majority of cases where TW are assaulted or killed is due to them not informing their partners. It's also called "pussy stunting" or some shit like that.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

The argument that they don’t disclose because they could be killed is bullshit. Where have there been any examples of a woman, much less a lesbian, killing a trans-identified male? And you know the best way to not get killed? Disclose to that person long before you meet them so that no one is emotionally invested and feels let down or deceived.

[–]Gearbeta 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

IKR. Honestly if they're that scared, they should do what women(and actually everyone does) when meeting a date for the first time and meet in public and say that shit there. Or say it on the dating website you met on. Am I really supposed to believe that if they disclosed their trans status in like a Starbucks somewhere that the person they were meeting would flip out and beat them to death? In front of everyone? Broad daylight attacks are incredibly rare even in complete shitholes of places. Or if they disclosed it on the internet that the person they were talking to would what? Reach through their screen and attack them via the internet?

What I think is happening is that they have convinced themselves, after years of bullshit, that hurt feelings are literal violence. What is likely to happen if they disclosed as a reasonable time like within the first few meetings or online is that the other person would politely but awkwardly excuse themselves and that would make them feel bad so this must be avoided at all costs. Including their own deaths.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (6 children)

It is other way around, they said they are woman, going to sex with dude, dude seeng there penis and attacking/killing them for lies.

[–]8bitgay 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Majority of cases where TW are assaulted or killed is due to them not informing their partners.

Honestly I kinda doubt that. Come on, people on this sub keep talking about trans that don't pass well. I doubt straight guys are getting heavily deceived by trans woman that are visibly trans, and then only notice they have a penis during sex.

Of course, I'm not American too, so maybe the situation is different in USA/other countries. Of course my opinion might be biased too. But from my understanding it's more about prostitution. "Straight" men seek trans women because they're actually gay/bi and want to get dick while also being able to tell themselves they aren't doing anything gay. I've heard many stories of MtF prostitutes saying that they wouldn't make a sex change surgery because this would mean losing most of the clients. These "straight" men can easily get aggressive after sex. They might refuse to pay, they might fear getting caught, etc. And depending on the situation it can escalate to violence and even death.

Frankly I feel empathy for these trans women. Some of them might be kicked out of house even way before they start identifying as trans. A gay son not conforming to male gender stereotypes might easily suffer prejudice from his family, even before this son comes out as trans. And these aggressive "straight" guys are obviously a result of homophobia too, since they feel that they have to go for secretive prostitution in order to explore their homosexual desires. It's not about "transphobia" as they say, the violence they suffer are just expressions of society's homophobia. The same way that a straight guy holding hands with his brother isn't suffering "heterophobia" if he gets beaten by homophobes.

The thing is that TRAs use these trans women. The trans "lesbians", trans "gays", non-binary, etc. who never had to deal with these situations will see the data of these marginalized trans women being killed and then use the data to say "see? we're the most oppressed group ever". They use these women who suffer violence from homophobic men to be homophobic against gay men and lesbian women.

[–]windrunner 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

These people really think that it's perfectly okay for someone who is trans to date and even have sex with people without disclosing to them that they are trans... it's fucking madness at this point. Don't they realise how bording on rape that shit is? Also, there were tons of tweets at some point last year/this year that went viral with thousands of rts and likes basically saying that trans people shouldn't disclose if they didn't want to that they're trans to people they're dating lol do they know how stupid they sound? It's basically taking away someone's choice (and probably their consent) by not telling them something like that.

[–]Rosefield 17 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Also, there were tons of tweets at some point last year/this year that went viral with thousands of rts and likes basically saying that trans people shouldn't disclose if they didn't want to that they're trans to people they're dating

Transbians don't pass anyway 😂 But ftms and hsts can be dangerous in this regard.

[–]NiceDickBro 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Judging by the wording of your question, I imagine that you're probably not a safe person to divulge that information to.

Not a safe person to potentially get held down by someone who used to be a man, with a much stronger bone density and muscular structure, who might still have male genitalia?? gasp How could you...

Honestly I've deleted my reddit account but every reply is gross misinformation about needing to accept that you might go on a date with a person who was born a fucking man and might still have every part downstairs. Can someone let her know to come over here where everyone hasn't lost their mind?

[–]Rosefield 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Not a safe person to potentially get held down by someone who used to be a man

LMAO used to be. 😂 As if that will ever change.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 18 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Oh I love how men can’t be expected to disclose that they are men to women out of fear that the women will harm them or out them but they expect women to disclose they are not interested in dating men on their profile. HELLO that’s what a lesbian is ffs. And we all know that if a lesbian put that in her profile and no matter how delicately she did it, she would be doxxed and shamed by some TRA.

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"Your body is a human right" - These creepy perverts

[–]Rosefield 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Your body says "trans rights!!"

[–]hufflepuff-poet 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

And all she got was a bunch of transbians shaming her for daring to question whether she would date a TW or care about her date's trans status. There are no actual lesbians on that sub, how can any woman even stand to be on that sub for more than a few minutes, it reeks of male delusion and major perv energy, like walking through a men's locker room.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Specifically, porn-sick fetishizing male delusion :( it's so gross. I remember wondering if there was something wrong with me for feeling weirded out by AL when I went on there, seeing how much casual sexual objectification was going on.

[–]Fusrodamus 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Archived: http://archive.is/wip/9SBTm

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Ah thank you!! How do you do that, for future reference?

edit: Also nice username lol.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You can get a browser extension, too. That's what I use. One click. Firefox: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/archive-page/

NOTE: "archive.today" is the same as "archive.vn" and "archive.is"

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh cool, thanks for the tip! I worry about this stuff getting removed.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I think there are a few of us who habitually grab things that look important. Welcome to the team! (Others have been doing that way longer than I have.)

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I'm just going to leave Blaire White's take here, from the trans person's side. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33HGY6-9IRE

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Man, that story is heartbreaking. Honestly-- controversial opinion but I feel like the transwoman not telling that guy she was trans before having sex with him, is like raping him. Or if not exactly that, something equal in magnitude.

I know that sounds extreme. But he never would have said yes otherwise, and that is extremely deceptive. It's a giant betrayal, and a huge lie. Just my take, other people feel free to convince me otherwise if you think I am missing something here.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you! I was wondering if there was something like that.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I know that sounds extreme.

Not at all. It's a consent violation. Lying to get sex is lying to get sex. Doesn't matter which lie it is, it's still counterfeiting. It's no accident that another group that often complains they shouldn't have to disclose important personal medical information is people with Cluster B disorders. Yet the vast majority of them will seriously abuse their dating partners at some point and many know that going in, since they've repeatedly done it in the past, but they pursue people anyway. And they put on a big show of being sane, stable, and safe. It's the same toddler-level entitlement going on. I am sure, as are many of us, that the comorbidity incidence between being a TRA and having a Cluster B disorder is substantial.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What was missing was informed consent. So yeah. Knowingly depriving someone else of information that could influence their willingness and ability to give informed consent is pretty violating.

[–]Rosefield 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Male lesbian larpers are liars. So if you ask them they most likely won't tell the truth because it gets them off. When in doubt block or ignore them. Your safety is most important.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 9 insightful - 9 fun9 insightful - 8 fun10 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

They don't need to disclose. It's so obvious lol

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Reminds me of the guy / transwoman who tried to murder that lesbian with an axe after she realized he was a man and rejected him. How is this not grooming?

[–]JulienMayfair 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Being obsessed with identity seems to correlate closely with the impulse to be extremely controlling of others.

And then there's the crossover with narcissistic symptoms.

[–]PopeyesChicken 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Do these people live on earth or mars? LOL

[–]TarshishJupiterpolitically homeless 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Can someone archive this?

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you know how to do that? I'll google how. If someone can do it faster than me though please do! I am stuck on mobile only rn.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same post on removeddit:

https://www.removeddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/idoung/how_do_you_ask/

I have never used removeddit before so I'm not sure how fast it updates. If anyone has another archiving suggestion I'll try it!

[–]Seahorse 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

OP dealt pretty well with all the plonkers.

Lmao the person that said put it on profile, yes and prepare for a barrage of abuse.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I was really glad to see that they seemed to know how to handle themself, the OP.

Also, seahorses are awesome. :)

[–]luckystar 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're right though. Maybe I need to process and accept that she may or may not be trans and I need to expect that. Hmmm. I can get behind it now that I'm beginning to change my frame of mind and how I was thinking of it. Thanks. 🙏🏼

Conversion therapy well underway for this one