I've thought it over for a while, and, I actually want to dismantle the entire LGBT. No LGBT. No LGBTQ+. No LGB either.

Why? Well, let me explain. First of all - "solidarity" and sense of some welcoming community is a lie. No matter whether you mean a sense of community between homosexuals and transgender people, homosexuals and bisexuals, gay men and lesbians, or even gay men with other gay men - there simply is no universal community. Homosexuality is not this grandiose, complex experience. It doesn't affect people's personalities - it doesn't give people something shared in common other than "the same sex arouses me." There's a reason why straight people don't really have a "straight community" and don't bond over their mutual straightness. (And no, that's not what straight relationships are. Nor is that what the "default" is. It's not comparable.)

I also don't believe there's anything positive about gay stereotypes, or the things people do sometimes bond over in LGBT groups. Overdramatic fashion, weird memes I still don't get, "twitter stans"... yeah, what does this have to do with orientation, exactly? A lot of people who emphasize the "community" also seem to glorify and encourage the very stereotypes that have been used against me - ie, gay and/or feminine males are weak, stupid, and obnoxious, liking "woman's things" makes you gay, liking certain music makes you gay, being emotional makes you gay... the list goes on. So it kinda stings to see people back this up and, in my opinion, undo the small amount of progress some places have made since I was a kid. We went from "haha girly = gay!" to "Boys can like 'girly' things no matter if they're gay or straight" right back to "Boys liking girly things = gay or secretly a woman inside" in a matter of 10 years or so. There was a brief window of acceptance, then it vanished when trans and flamboyant gayness became trendy.

I've spent way too much time and energy trying to get other gay males, lesbians, and bisexual people to respect me and include me as "one of them" in their little clubs, solely because I've always felt out of place in the world and I've always wanted to "belong" somewhere. But as I've got older I've realized that it really doesn't matter. I don't - I shouldn't NEED their approval or their sense of community, and honestly, if the only thing to bond over is something as mundane as sexual orientation... well, it's probably not an interesting community to begin with.

I'm also growing increasingly resentful as an intersex person. Transgender ideology harms intersex people. "Gay culture" and stereotypes hurts intersex people. Guys like me are born more feminine because of genetic conditions beyond our control - it's not a conscious choice nor is it related to sexuality (Intersex males are NOT more likely to be gay, regardless of their hormone levels) and all that shit about "femboys" and "twinks" being super submissive gay bottoms can fuck right off. And/or the subset of gay males who are all about masculinity and aggressively reject anything else.

And perhaps the most important part of all (aka, if you skipped the rest of the post, READ THIS PART) - not everywhere is America. Not all "LGB experiences" are universal. Things are different depending on your background, where you are in the world, how you were raised, your culture, your own beliefs, your own experience growing up... it's IMPOSSIBLE to have a unified community due to this alone. I have a very different experience being born Russian and having an atypical childhood. The LGBT and LGB - as very Western concepts - do not give a fuck, and do not emphasize. The most they'll ever give is a condescending comment about the fake stories of Russia killing gay people randomly and saying vaguely xenophobic stuff like "oh, I hope you one day leave your awful country!"

This is something I just have to accept, just as Americans seem to understand they can't just walk into Russia half-clothed in a rainbow parade and expect the locals to be happy about it. Xenophobia is huge right now, even in it's mildest forms - and even if I wasn't Russian I'd probably find another way to be excluded.

But, like I said, a community that tries to find so many little things to kick you out over is not one worth being a part of anyway.

For the record, I couldn't care less if existing L/G/B people wanna go around making their own little communities. They're welcome to. But I really ask that people reconsider this notion of there being a universal, unified, everyone-is-included LGBT or LGB community. Because that is not true. Frankly, no, I really don't have much in common with the average gay man. Unfortunately my experience with sexuality is not even inherently positive which alienates me from most homosexuals anyway, it seems. I get called homophobic even for saying that I'm not happy and would gladly choose to be straight if I could, even though I never hate on anyone else or force others to do things my way.

So, to be blunt - if the LGBT and LGB don't want me around, then fine. I won't be part of it. I'll do things my own way, live my own life, and won't make my orientation (which I don't particularly like) my defining feature, or even just one of my defining features. Knowing both the T-inclusive and not-T-inclusive communities, though, they'll find a way to criticize me for not participating too. It's always the way.

But fuck it. I have got to stop relying on other people's approval, especially for trivial mostly-internet shit that really doesn't matter.